6 month baby HATES new cot - help!

[PastaFasool]

My 6 month old baby was sleeping brilliantly in a Tutti Bambini fabric bedside cot. He loved snuggling into the fabric sides and being cosy. We were getting bedtime around 7.30pm, and often he would sleep thru til 3am or 4am before needing a feed, then back to sleep until 7.30am. It was brilliant for all of us.

Four nights ago we moved him into a regular wooden cot, and he HATES it. He is taking up to an hour to settle, he's been waking every 2 hours crying, and finds it hard to self soothe as when he tries to snuggle into the side of the cot he's banging his little face against wooden bars. DS also used to self soothe by stroking the fabric sides of his bedside crib, we could see and hear him running his fingers down the mesh side.

DH has been great helping out, and can sometimes get DS back to sleep by holding his hand and shushing. However it doesn't always work, and I am back to breastfeeding up to 3 times a night to get DS to sleep. I don't think DS is always hungry as he calms down when cuddled, I had just been using breastfeeding as a comfort whilst he adjusts to the new bed but it's the fourth night and feels like it's getting worse rather than better.

I am getting desperate for all of us to sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch again... Does anyone have any advice? Desperately wish we could carry on using his old bed but it's not safe after 6 months as the sides are too low.

Thanks in advance!

Try putting a worn T-shirt on top of the mattress for the day, then remove before you put him down for the night, the smell might comfort him.

I certainly didn't OP, I completely understand your point of view. Being a parent is just one massive ongoing risk assessment!

I hope your DC acclimatises to the cot soon and that if not the travel cot is a solution, good luck!

@Sunshine160 - that is interesting, particularly in regard to unsupervised sleeping. DS is in his own room now, so that wouldn't be recommended for him at night. Thanks for posting!

what about just putting it close to cot. mine are older and was told ok to tie to bar.

Also I know you have lost a baby and everyone has right to do it their way but dont tie yourself in knots trying to follow every rule/guideline. learn to trust your instincts

I used a breathable mesh liner around the outside of the cot, you can get them on Amazon. I am the most worrying type of person when it comes to sleep and found this to be a safe alternative to a cot bumper. I always use a heartbeat monitor too so both of them put together were the safest and best option for us. Is this something you could discuss with your husband? Our health visitor said it was a good idea too. I even put my face up against and could easily breath through it. Do try not to breastfeed to sleep as this will encourage your little one that they need you to fall asleep. X

@Rpo87 I am seeing the HV on Wednesday for a weigh in anyway, so I will talk to them about using a breathable layer outside the cot. I will talk to them generally about his sleep and see what they recommend alongside the advice from here.

I totally agree that feeding to sleep is a negative sleep association that I am going to work on with DS this month, but first I need to get him to sleep at all in his new bed. I feel like it needs to be one step before the next.

Obviously if I could go back in time I would have properly broken the BF to sleep habit BEFORE giving him the new bed...

He's asleep now in his cot, been down for about 30 minutes and I am off to bed whilst DH takes over til midnight.

is the cot too cold?
dc slept horribly and one tip from mn was to put a towel under the sheet.

Update: DS slept for 40 minutes, then woke up shouting... BUT he managed to get himself back to sleep without us going in! So that feels like HUGE progress...

Brill progress OP!
@orangeshoebox never heard that tip before. How does it work, does it keep the top sheet warmer? I’m trying to wean DS out of the Sleepyhead but his crib mattress always feels so hard and cold to me!

for dc it definitely was a warmth factor.
with a towel under the sheet the bed felt warmer and softer.

Flannelette sheets can also be good on the warmth side of things and they also do fleece sheets and fleece mattress protectors.

Have picked up a few tips over the years from other parents/professionals

Tip 1. Try not to change too much at once use the same bedding you use in the previous bed as they are used to the feel and sensation of the item e.g blanket.

Tip 2 place a U shape under the sheet from the hips around keeps them snug, stops them slipping down or moving and no risk of suffocation (picked up from local children's ward)

Tip 3 place a baby vest or baby grow in your bra for a while and them dress them in it for bed the smell of you with soothe them (picked up from midwife).

Good luck

You are doing brilliantly, he will get used to it, this is just a blip.

We moved ds from the Tutti Bambini into a travel cot once he hit 5 months a few weeks ago. I bought a better travel cot mattress as the standard one that came with ours was crap, but the translation has been v seamless.

He’s still in my room, and I can hear him rubbing the mesh sides of the travel cot as he settles himself back to sleep.

@TerribleCustomerCervix I kind of wish we had just bought a travel cot rather than buying a wooden one - when he has slept in travel cot at the grandparents or the two nights we have been in a hotel with him, he slept pretty normally. In particular, he likes this one:
www.amazon.co.uk/Red-Kite-Black-Sleep-Travel/dp/B001CMB2KC?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

That is cheap enough to buy for him if the cot doesn't work out without breaking the bank.

However, pleases to report that he has just slept 7.45pm to 1am! There were 2 x small grizzly wakings, where we had some shouts and cries from his room, but both times lasted less than 3 minutes and he got himself back to sleep without us going in to him. REALLY hoping this means he is getting used to new bed (this is Night 5 in it).

Feeding to sleep is NOT a negative sleep association. It’s the biological norm for our species. We’re mammals ffs! There’s no negative association to be worked on for your baby. He’s doing what human babies do naturally. When did nature become a negative?

I’m going to stop coming on this board. People’s attitudes towards their babies fucks be right off

So here's how the night went:

Started last feed: 7pm
Settled: 7.40pm

8.20pm - grizzled, self-settled
9.40pm - grizzled, self-settled

1am wake for feed
1.30am put back down
1.35am asleep

4.10am - grizzled, self-settled

5.20am wake for feed
5.50am put back down
5.50am dozed

I could hear him dozing but grumbling until about 6.30am (normally he will sleep another 90 minutes after that dawn feed) and he had a very dirty nappy (first one for a few days).

So although we're up earlier than usual, last night was a lot better than it has been! He is now playing happily with cuddlies in his cot, seems happier after having some better sleep at last.

The only real changes last night were starting bedtime earlier, and giving him an evening feed of solids (he is 3 weeks into weaning, I had just been giving him lunch solids until now).

Fingers crossed that he is getting the hang of new bed!

We had similar issues with ds2 , I ended up buying some super soft material and cutting into strips the length of the cot and actually weaving them through the cot side and securing at each end ( I sewed it back on itself) making a fabric half wall on one side. Also sleeping bag helped to keep him super snuggly

@MamatoAnK I did think about something similar, I am fairly confident with needle and thread so I was considering that option myself.

Thankfully he does seem to be adjusting... Although frankly I wish I had never bought the wooden cot, and just gone for mesh travel cot with replacement mattress!

Sure worst case and you need to buy a travel cot, they aren’t expensive and chances are you’ll get the use out of it anyway if you travel at all with ds or any other dc.

We got a Hauck one for about £30, and the better mattress was £20. It’s the same footprint as a standard cot so I could use the sheets and mattress protector that we already had.

But he will get past this, he’s already massively improved from your latest update. Just be kind to yourself, it’s hard being without sleep and feeling like you’re slipping backwards, but he’ll get there!

@nuckyscarnation my mum also thinks that it's crazy that the HV says to stop feeding to sleep... She is firmly of the opinion that babies learn to fall asleep without boob in their own good time... so hard to know what the right thing to do as a mum is, we're all just doing the imperfect best we can I guess!

I could never stop DS1 from falling asleep on the boob. He's 3 now and goes to sleep without it (I stopped bf at about 18 months) The thing with babies is that every few months they move the goalposts so just as you think you've got something down it all goes to pot again, teeth, illness, developmental leap, etc etc. I'm very much of the "if it isn't broken don't try to fix it" school of thought. If he's falling asleep in the boob but generally sleeping for long stretches then I personally wouldn't mess with it.

Have you tried air wrap breathable bumpers? I have some for my LO as they've been safety approved.

I ignored most of the Gina-ford-esque advice my HV gave and instead I fed to sleep and coslept because 1. Instinctively if felt to me this was right for the baby 2. The baby's response told me it was what he wanted and 3. I wasn't willing to "toughen him up " at the age of 6m by adopting practices that didn't seem to work on him anyway!
I would not treat what your hv says as gospel and try to follow your instincts. If you wish to persevere with the cot then take a side off and tether it to your bed for a few months as a transitional arrangement?

Ugh, spoke too soon - tonight is an ABSOLUTE disaster, DS has been crying for an hour now trying to put him down. Obviously he has had lots of cuddles and a bit more boob to try and calm him, but every time he gets put back down he is sobbing his eyes out... DH is having a go to give me a break, but we're both a bit frazzled... Poor DS, it's heartbreaking seeing him so sad and tired.