My 2 and a half year old has started to refuse to stay in her own bed all night

[BelindaG]

I am due to have baby number 2 in a few weeks and over the past few weeks our daughter has become more and more difficult at night. She goes to bed absolutely fine and goes to sleep for a few hours in her own bed. She then wakes up and demands to come into our bed. We've tried calming her and putting her back into her own bed several times on the trot but it doesn't work. We've tried bribery. We've tried staying with her in her room but really all she wants is to come to our bed with us. She just screams and screams (the other night screaming til she made herself sick - she threw up all over the bed, the floor, the rug, everywhere). She's otherwise an extremely secure, happy, outgoing and fabulous girl. It's just the night-times which have become a nightmare. Help!

Belinda I had this problem a few weeks ago. Turned out my dd had a throat infection and as soon as it cleared up she was happy back in her bed again.

Am hoping this is just a phase for yours well!

Belinda i had this for few weeks to, but she'll soon go back over nite, my DD has a cold soon as she was feeling better she went rite back down

ds2 did this for a while. I couldn't always be bothered to put him back. He stopped after a couple of months. It was all pretty exhausting for a while when ds3 was doing night feeds - I'd have to search the house in the morning to work out where dh had fled to under crowd pressure! I think these phases must be inevitable with los.

I think there may be an issue with you having a new baby in a few weeks. She may be feeling a bit left out and so needs extra reassurance.

IMO you should bite the bullet and just do the rapid return. I would talk to her about it before the bedtime and say that this is her bed and where she sleeps. Then when you first return her tell her it is still time for sleep, then the second time say it again but by the third time they know it is still night time so don't say anything. All the bribery, talking, staying with her just gives her the attention she wants.

If you are as dull as dishwater and keep returning her then she will get the message that you will not back down. The sicking up is obvioulsy distessing but she will do that in the future if she thinks this will make you give in to her needs.

Do it now before you are totally exhausted with the new baby and then end up with her in your bed. If you think you will crack, put a child gate on her door then you have to get out of bed to put her back to bed, otherwise it is too easy to just let her climb into your bed if you don't have to get out.

I sound really harsh don't I? I promise I'm not but having 2 children, I know it is completely exhausting looking after a toddler when you have a newborn.

No, Fizzylemonade, you don't sound harsh at all. I know it's how it has to be done and it's actually what I've been trying to do but there are, unfortunately, 2 problems. The first is that I'm absolutely exhausted already (still working full-time and also full of cold - baby 2 due in less than 4 weeks) so it's very difficult not to just give in and let her into the bed as I simply don't have the energy to follow through with the strict regime. The second is that my husband simply finds it impossible to be that firm with her. He tells me not to be so mean to her because it's not her fault and she's only a baby. He doesn't see that I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to get it sorted before the baby comes. Also, DD is unbelievably tenacious and she will probably keep going all night no matter how boring I am. Will try harder! Thanks for feedback to you and everyone else who replied.