Anyone else have a 21 month old...

[plus30]

who just doesn't want to sleep. My dd is pushing my patience to the limit (not to mention the bags under my eyes!). She used to be a reasonably good sleeper but for the past few months she has been extremely hard to get to go to sleep in the first instance - we take her up at about 8pm, she finishes her bottle in her cot and then tells me to sit down. I'll sit quietly on a chair, avoiding eye contact with her for about 15 minutes and then just as she looks like she's about to drop off she sits boltupright and says "wheres daddy?" - or if dh is putting her to bed she'll say "wheres mummy?" In a nutshell she has both dancing to her tune and she knows it! We both work full time and possibly overcompensate when we get home. It's normally 9ish before she goes over but the worst is still to come....she can then wake up anything from 3 to 4 times throughout the night...we eventually bring her in with us around 5ish where she quickly slips into unconsciousness! I thought babies were meant to be sleeping through the night by this stage so where am I going wrong?!! She could be getting her back teeth but tbh it feels like I have used the "she's teething"card for everything under the sun and I certainly don't want to get into loading her up with medicine every night. Even when she is sleeping - she's very restless and moves through the cot like a whirling dervish so I think I'm also concerned that she's got pains in her tummy or elsewhere that she can't articulate to me. Any advice clever ladies? xx

My sympathy! Our dd (now 7) didn´t sleep through the night (ie without visits from us) until she was 4...when she was 5 ds arrived . As soon as we saw the same signs we borrowed a book on controlled crying from the library and used that...it works! He's now 22 months and easy to put to bed, no fuss. Dd is still very active in her sleep and sleeps on a matress on the floor in our bedroom as she's not keen on sleeping alone sigh Our consolation is that they're usually back in their own rooms and beds by the time they're teenagers

I have a 19mo dd and she has never slept through the night, she goes to bed ok generally but then wakes a lot. Have you read the baby sleep book by w and m sears? or go on askdrsears.com They give some lovely child friendly tips, I have found moving her nap to early morning and making sure she has run around a lot and then putting her to bed later have all helped, but there are loads of tips in the book and website. I couldn't bring myself to do controlled crying thing and I'm not working so I can be tired in the day and a bit brain dead. It must be very difficult for you.

Put her in bed, tell her it's time to sleep, kiss, hug, and go out. If she cries, go back in, tell her it's time to sleep, go out. Repeat as many times as necessary. She will soon see the futility and go to sleep. Following nights will be much easier if you stick to this simple procedure.

When she wakes up in the night, don't even say anything, just "shhh" or whisper the same "it's time for sleep" mantra, and go back to bed. Let her cry a bit (minutes) and when you go in, repeat as above. Never ever bring her into your bed. She sleeps in her bed, mommy and daddy sleep in their bed. Because she is such a big girl now, there is no room in mommy and daddy's bed for all three of you.

Our DD is 22 months, by the way, and, much as we love her, this is what she gets. Nighttime is for sleep, each in their own beds. That is the rule in our house, anyway.

plus30 - my dd is 22 months and has always slept erratically. We've tried everything but shes a stubborn but loveable little girl! I agree with babygiraffe about earlier naps and running around before bed - these both have helped. I also do what Cotedazur does with regards to not talking and just repeating its time to sleep when I have to go in in the night. If it helps - I've heard waking is a sign that your toddler is very intelligent! Maybe just check with the gp about her tummy. Are her poos ok??