Sleep is for the weak part four, we're officially hardcore.

[gingerninja]

Yes ladies we've got a shiny new thread to share our woes of chronic sleep deprivation, to hail all that is gloreous when something works and throw our arms in the air when it all goes wrong again.

One bad night doesn't impress us, we're awake more than we sleep cos we is 'ard I tell ya.

tam - yep, there is an album called 'random selection' on your profile.

poking is basically a meaningless way to get someone to notice you. or something. the ohter person just gets notified that they were poked. that's it.

ep - sure can add photos, have a look.

thnaks amber guess it worked then! x

I curse the person who told me about facebook. Now I never get any housework done.

Our night was rubbish. It was my shift. DD woke at about 10.30 and screamed on and off until at 1 oclock I'd had enough and screamed too. She kept holding her arms up to be picked up and even my sleeping next to her holding hands through the bars wasn't enough. She wanted me in the cot with her. By 1 I was so frustrated that I shouted and told her that she'd just have to cry, I'd had enough. DH came to the rescue and took over. Apparently after settling she slept until 6. I felt sheepish this morning for shouting. But why won't she settle for me. She seems to settle for DH more easily. She still isn't crawling so is very frustrated during the day and she wants to be on my knee all the time which is ok to a point but hard work. I think if she could move she'd feel a lot happier but she's very lazy!

Hi Ginger,

Sounds like a really rotten night. It's obviously not your DD's fault, but screaming from 10.30-1am is enough to test anyone's patience, especially considering that you've been with DD all day too.

It must be so hard if she's wanting to be on the move, but not able to be yet.

I really admire you for sticking with your plan. I am so unbelievably short-termist, that if things don't work straight away (which of course they never do!), I give up. That's not to say you should keep going if it's doing your head in, but I think it's great that you are so positive about making changes.

ginger, totally understandable love, it's not easy battling in the middle of the night, tired and frustrated. good on you for sticking with it though. i'm sure it will pay off soon.

Ginger, you have my full sympathy/ empathy. I've been there too; it's awful and shreds your nerves. I hang my head in shame for occasionally swearing at my DS when he's been like that (this from a woman whose worst swear word is "bloody") . Glad your DH came to the rescue but like you I resented the fact that my DH could settle DS more easily than me at times. I know a BF counsellor who always tells us that this week's problems won't be the same next week and that we should hang on. Even if you can't find a diagnosis, just remind yourself things will change in the twinkling of an eye.

Oh - and BW is Baby Whisperer (thanks, Tamdin). I've been doing the pick up/ put down thing - though I cuddle him till he's sleepy before putting him down initially. Just spent about 25 mins getting him down to nap, which is oooh about a quarter of the time it took on Monday night. This is a great improvement but I'm not holding my breath (8 months' experience says you never should when it comes to babies' sleep, or you'll die). He's only had 1 hour of naps today, though - about half what he'd usually have had by now. Well, you can't have everything at once I suppose.

TH that's a great thing to remember. i try to remind myself that there will always be challenges, they will just be different ones as they get older. we've survived this far ...

Ginger and Mrs. TH,

You have both spurred me on to take some action here .

For her current nap, I have not swaddled dd, but am using a grobag (one arm in though). I've also spent 30 mins doing the Pantley pull-off thing with the dummy. It's taken 40 mins to get sleep, and she'll only stay down for 30 mins, but I am trying to think a bit more long-term.

I've just remembered we're away this weekend, but when we get back, I am going to try this for all naps, and when she first goes down at night. I initially reserve the right to use any trick in the book at 3am though .

Hello all, don't know if I am allowed to join in but LOVE the name of this thread! We are fabulous mummies for putting in the hours

My story:
My 15mth old has always been a light sleeper. She usually goes to sleep in her cot in her room happily at 8ish and then sleeps beautifully til 13 or 14 hours later...

BUT

will wake usually 3 or 4 times in that time and need a cuddle or me basically (has been dummy or milk). Sometimes I think she is ill, sometimes I have no clue.

She does have a dummy. And she comes in to us and sleeps with us after she wakes and we have gone to bed. I LOVE THIS, dh loves it but wants it to be short-term. I don't think it will be short-term - especially as she is not learning any consistency in her cot - oops! I have recently weaned her off bottles-of-milk-all- night-addiction (twice).

I think I am a pretty good mum, she does exactly what I ask her during the day - and bless her, turns over, lies down and tries to sleep when asked at night too. She just doesn't want to be on her own at night and I don't know how to solve this because who can blame her? Am trying to get her to cuddle bear (but he is a poor substitute for mummy) and we are actually going to get her a bed as we feel she may feel more empowered [hmmm] but

anyway, jsut wanted to share my desperation and frustration and post for support even though I have no solutions - I think she genuinely isn't ready for what I am trying to get her to do. And that isn't my style of parenting.

For me, I can cope but its stressing me out that dh is struggling...

MM: my first thought is that if you're happy with things, is there much point in making a huge effort to change things? I suppose gentle solutions would be to try patting her before pikcing up but I guess you've already tried that one? FWIW, it sounds like you're doing a great job and have a contented child

welcome mummy magic !

pleased to meet you but sorry you find yourself here, if that makes sense. my dd is only 4 and a bit months, so i am a real novice to all of this myself. but if it's support, empathy, and a chance to vent that you need, then you are in the right place.

has your dd always woken at night, or have things changed?

Mummymagic, you sound like a dream mummy and manage to put a very positive spin on what is essentially horrible sleep deprivation. If you all get more sleep by co-sleeping then I'd say go with it. I love it too but am on a 'programme' of trying to stop it because my DD (10.5 mnths) was starting to move around too much and consequently none of us were getting any sleep. Instead me and DH are taking it in turns to sleep next to her cot and hold hands when she wakes in order to encourage her to stay put at night. Perhaps you could do something similar and get a bigger bed so that you can join her if necessary and then slip away during the night. Other mn cosleepers say their children have given it up on their own when they've felt more confident. It's difficult being consistent in the middle of the night tho isn't it?

mummy magic welcome. I could have written your post. my ds is 18 months (today!) and like your dd goes to sleep in his cot at 7ish each night and stays there until 11 or 12. Then the fun begins. some weeks he's 'good' and only wakes once or twice for a few minutes for his bottle but some weeks he's up every few hours (like this week)I am trying (as of tonight!) to wean him off his night bottles. How did you do it?
A friend has told me to reduce the quantity of milk for a night or two and then substitute with water instead. He won't be happy but we'll have to try. His cot is still in our room and he comes into bed with us from his 1st waking.
I love co-sleeping as does dh but feel he would get a better night's sleep if he was in his cot.
We're moving house in oct/nov so are planning to get him a bed and see if that helps.
hope tonight goes well for us all

hi mummymagic,

sorry you're having sleep troubles, though it sounds more problematic for your dh than for you. if you are ok with the way things are going, i wonder if there's any way to get your dh to chill out.
anyway, we're full of support, but not a lot of advice especially because you seem tobe doing such a wonderful job with your LO.

we have a sleepless blog too www.sleepisfortheweak.wordpress.com

i'm so going to be kicked out of SIFTW

ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!

No need to leave us unless you really want to

amber yay so pleased for you.
hope it is the shape of things to come.
ds has only ever done one random through the night but your ds seems to have been working up to it gradually so chances are its for keeps.

Amber - that's brilliant !

DD normally has more than enough wakings for 2, so you can add some of ours to your tally, if you're worried about getting kicked off SIFTW .

ok bags, i'lltake some of your wakings - just divide by 2, and i'll take half

that way i'll be allowed to stay.

Tamdin, I think it's two steps forward one step back at the moment which is not too bad. I think we'll probably stick with the 1-2 wakeups for a while with the odd sleep through (fingers crossed), but wow, it's so much better.

hey what has become of cupcakes? hope she is getting some rest.

Amber so pleased for you. Now if you can bottle some of that sleeping magic, please...

Our night was, well, you know. OK through the evening, then just refused to settle for more than two minutes between 10.30 and 11.30, then in with me and asleep straight away with two or three more wakings until 7.30.

I'm starting to wonder if the co-sleeping is causing the unsettledness, ie he expects to come in with me so won't settle until he does. Any advice from Tam/Ginger/EP/any other co-sleepers? It's not that I mind him being in my bed but it seems to be getting earlier every night and my fear is that at some point he will stop settling in the cot at all.

Bags, I'm not sure if you had proper access to post on the blog before for some reason, but should be fixed now , so whenever inspiration hits ...

Morning all,

Well our night was interesting. I had to do everything as DH's put his back out and was in agony last night, poor love.

DS went to sleep at 8.30 - took about 25 mins to get him to sleep a la Baby Whisp, then he woke at 9.30. Got him back to sleep pretty quickly and he didn't wake until 11.45. And then. And then he was unbelievably jumpy; kept almost falling asleep and then waking himself for 1.5 hours. Got to that point where I was about to tear my hair out and so I resorted to Power Boobs. Did the trick, though I was so knackered that I fed him in bed and we both spent the whole night there. He woke again at 3.30, didn't need a feed but at that time in the morning it's easier, isn't it?

Am still desperately clinging to faith that the BW method can work for us!

Megs - I find that ds sleeps best in bed with me, because as you know they all wake during t he night, but he's better able to settle if I'm next to him. I do have a feeling that once we move him to his own room he will eventually start sleeping better.

Welcome, Mummy Magic! I understand your concerns re DD and not wanting to sleep alone - I recall in the co-sleeping book 'Three In A Bed' that a girl is quoted asking her mum why she had to sleep alone since both her parents didn't have to. What can you say to that, eh? Fraid I have no advice to offer but lots of sympathy!

Amber - well done, all your hard work has paid off! . You give me hope!!