Sleep consultants

[Kinaslina86]

Heelloo

I am considering getting a sleep consultant to help me teach my nearly 5 month old DS to self soothe as at the moment he is depending on me on every nap and also at night and sometimes it takes me 1h to 1,5h to get him back to sleep at night. Naps are only 30 minutes or less sometimes and i have to rock/bounce him and walk around the room otherwise he wont sleep. I am not too bothered about DS sleeping through the night or if i have to get up few times to feed him is just getting him back to sleep and not knowing what to do when he wakes up around 5-6 o'clock and does not want to sleep or he gets very frustrated because he cant fall asleep.
I just don't think my DS gets enough and good quality sleep and thats why i consider using a sleep consultant.
Have anyone of you used one? Did it help? And would you recommend using one?
I contacted Katy Ferguson from Simple Sleep and she sounds very good but i just don't know if she is legit.

Any advice would be appreciated

5 months is very young, I believe self settling is developmental but if you’re desperate there is a lady called ‘Kerry Cares/Care It Out sleep consultant’. Her methods are genuinely gentle and don’t involve any leaving to cry, she looks st routine and biological needs of the child. Good luck.

Thank you for your reply crazycatlady5

I just don't know how to break the habit of me bouncing and carrying him to sleep for his naps. I don't really fancy doing it when he is 1year old as he is quite heavy now.
He will fall asleep in a pram but only for 26-30 mins as well.

First of all, how is his daytime sleep?

My ds is only 12 weeks so no expert, but I've followed Gina Ford and for a 5 month old she recommends only 3 hours of daytime sleep.

Daytime sleep is defined as within the 12 hour awake period, i.e. if you would like DS to sleep 7pm-7am, he should only have 3 hours of sleep from 7am - 7pm, ideally split into a 45 min morning nap and 2-2.15 hour lunchtime nap.

You are saying he wakes at 5-6 o'clock, this is very late nap for a baby of that age and could be why he doesn't settle well at night.

Gina F says no napping after 2.30pm at that age untill 7pm! Which is a bit nuts but you can start bedtime earlier.

Finally, does he have a consistent bedtime routine that cues him to sleep? Every nap & at bedtime I follow a similar routine (apart from the bath!) and aim to put DS down awake.

Sorry I misread your OP!

you mean 5-6am...

Hmm sounds like he is having issues linking up sleep cycles - you may need to teach self settling, there are lots of methods you can try not just controlled crying (although it is the most effective).

Thank you Alyosha for your reply

I cant have any sort of routine with my DS as his waking in the morning is very inconsistent. He can wake up 5 o'clock and then i try to put him back to sleep or sometimes he wakes up after 8 o'clock but thats with my help as he is with me in my bed from around 5-6 o'clock as thats when he usually wakes up and i have to battle with him as he seems wide awake sometimes.
I am using Huckleberry to track his sleep and on average he has 2,5h of naps in a day but they are all 30mins or less and its veeeeerryyyy rare if he sleeps more than 30mins. I just don't know what to do to encourage him to link the sleep cycles for his naps as he is doing it at night because he can sleep for 3+ hours. Also i have to bounce him at nap times otherwise he wont sleep!
Anyways i try to put him to sleep at 6 o'clock i would like 7 o'clock but i cant keep him awake as he is desperate to go to sleep and very groggy obviously because he doesn't get enough good quality sleep in a day.

Also i've tried putting DS awake in his cot at bed time and that does not work as he is very desperate to go to sleep it just makes him angry and i end up picking him up and rocking him until he falls asleep

Is he definitely not hungry, windy when you put him down? Do you have a very consistent bedtime routine?

What is the daytime sleep environment like, is it quiet and dark?

Sorry cant be more help!!

It sounds like he hasn't come out of the 4 month sleep regression. They develop defined sleep cycles in the 4 month sleep regression and then need to be able to get back to sleep at the end of each cycle in order to be able to nap longer. It is easier to do at night because the pressure to sleep is greater, then as pressure to sleep reduces (at 5am), he struggles to put himself back to sleep and needs your help. His daytime schedule could also be contributing to the 5/6am wake ups, putting to bed early on a regular basis will result in them waking early too.

To a degree self settling is developmental but you can certainly help them self settle by slowly reducing your input - I've made a conscious effort to pat my 4 month old to sleep since birth so he associates that with sleep and have gradually reduced the pressure and amount I pat him since. I can often now just put him down and he falls asleep himself and have never had to leave him to cry once to achieve this. A sleep consultant can help you with this and I would recommend it.

Her methods are genuinely gentle and don’t involve any leaving to cry, she looks st routine and biological needs of the child
Just for the record - ALL good sleep consultants will not insist on leaving a child to cry as the only method of training and will focus on a routine and needs of the child. Insist on a preliminary consultation before parting with money and confirm that this is the case for the one you choose. (To be fair, I can't see those advocating CIO/CC as the only method getting much business as it always has to be tailored to the child and their personality)

Aloysha
Definitely not hungry as i always offer him food before nap or after.
I try to get him to nap after 1h 40mins of being awake (i follow the huckleberry app )and to be honest he gets fussy and looks tired after about an hour and 30 mins and i think is because the quality of his naps are very poor.

Alyosha
For naps i usually wrap him in the blanket and i walk around in the room bouncing/rocking him to sleep and when he is asleep i sit with him in the chair as he usually wakes up when i try to put him down. The room is bright no blackout curtains and usually tv is on but not too loud but i try not to be too quiet.

riddles26
His naps were obviously longer when he was younger and he didn't need me to help him fall asleep. Do you think he will ever nap for longer than 30 minutes??
When he wakes up at 5/6 o'clock in the morning i can get him back to sleep but it takes soo much effort and sometimes i just think what is the point because it takes me longer get him back to sleep than he actually is asleep.
Usually i put him to sleep at 6 which is a bit too early but he is just desperate to go to sleep and sometimes doesn't even want to eat before bed (which i still try few times before he falls asleep so he isn't going hungry to sleep)
I just don't know how to break the habit of me carrying him for every nap without upsetting him.
I have spoken with Katy from Simple Sleep and she said that she will create a customised two week plan specific to meet DSs development and sleep needs. She will be working on getting DS sleeping through the night with one night feed and tbf i am not too bothered if he wakes up more than once as long as it doesn't take too long to get him back to sleep. Encouraging self soothing so he no longer needs to use the dummy and to improve his nap length and schedule. She did say that DS may cry a little as he is going to be protesting which i do understand because probably DS wont be happy at first.

Riddles26
I have seen your posts before and i know you have used help of sleep consultant. Would you be able to tell me the name and roughly how much it cost you?

I think in your situation I would look into a settling method I agreed with and start implementing it consistently at every nap and sleep time.

I would also do all naps in same sleep environment as night time, with a consistent sleep cue (ie, nappy change, cuddle, sleeping bag, lullaby and "sleepy time now").

He will nap longer and sleep longer as long as you implement a routine and setlling method 100% consistentky. Sleep consultant sounds like a great idea as you pay for their advice so more likely to follow it!!!

I have always wondered what kind of qualifications a sleep consultant has
Does anyone know?

I thought about a sleep consultant when my DS was a baby but in the end I couldn't justify the cost. My son needed rocking to sleep and only napped in a sling/carrier for the first 6 months. Not even in my arms! Hated the car and the pram. And then one day he changed and would nap for 2 hours in his cot from about 7 months. Don't feel pressurised to get it established right away.

Alyosha
I think it may be a bit hard to follow the same routine for naps as for the night time as night time its quiet and dark i cant keep the noise down in the day (dogs barking as we have 3, people talking or door banging)
and obviously its daylight. What settling method would you recommend? I know there is several but i think for my DS only CC would work which i really don't want to do as i don't think i would be strong enough to carry on.
I don't know where to start to be honest thats why i contacted sleep consultant. If the money wouldn't be a problem then i wouldn't be on MN asking for an advice

Planespotting
Sleep consultant i contacted is certified paediatric sleep consultant and registered nurse

Does your health visitor have any ideas op?

My DD2 is a light sleeper and DD1 or other noises kept disturbing her sleep; have you tried white noise? I got a little white noise machine which I use for all naps and night time sleep. It works for us and might help if your house is noisy too.

Sleep consultants can work (we've used one) but to get anything working quickly he (and possibly you) will need to do a fair bit of crying. That can be the right thing, for example if it is causing you mood or other health issues, if you do not feel safe in charge of him, or if you need him to settle for others. - but you do need to be committed.

Have you tried other methods.first? That's what I've done with my later DC's. The no Cry Sleep Solution or the Sara Ockwell-Smith books both have gentler options. Or you can just pop him in a sling instead of wrapping in a blanket and just go about your day. There's a lot of focus on 'good' sleep, but so long as they're happy and have plenty of opportunities to sleep, then you're probably doing fine.

BabyNameDilemma
My DS doesn't like baby carrier as he doesn't like being restrained but he will nap in the car seat or on the walk which i use car seat as well as he doesn't like laying in the carry cot because he cant see anything. And it doesn't make a difference where he naps is still 30ish mins.
I am just scared i will have to rock him to sleep and hold him still when he is 1year old thats why i want to change it now before its too late

HoraceCope
I have told my health visitor about DS nap problem months ago and she suggested sling (DS doesn't like it) putting a water bottle in his cot before putting DS down (did not work) and thats about it. I really don't think HV care that much

If you're fine now bit worried about later, I'd leave it for now. One year old is 7 months away - and just think how much changing and growing he's done in the last 5 months. At 6/7 months once they are on solids, often sitting and moving more and on 2 naps, things often resolve themselves. And if they don't, he'll be a bit older and more ready for the rigours of sleep training.

Namethatchild
I've got my hummy which plays white and pink noise but embarrassingly i don't know when to use it

Nicola Watson at child sleep solutions (google and you'll find her website) worked really well for my DS with a very similar sounding issue at a similar age - did a very comprehensive set of plans, sorted night sleep in a few nights. Naps took a bit longer but got there. Was a lifesaver. £100 from memory, but there are different packages - pretty sure they're listed on her website.