Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Original poster

Sleep consultants

74 replies

Kinaslina86 · 23/01/2019 09:38

Heelloo Smile

I am considering getting a sleep consultant to help me teach my nearly 5 month old DS to self soothe as at the moment he is depending on me on every nap and also at night and sometimes it takes me 1h to 1,5h to get him back to sleep at night. Naps are only 30 minutes or less sometimes and i have to rock/bounce him and walk around the room otherwise he wont sleep. I am not too bothered about DS sleeping through the night or if i have to get up few times to feed him is just getting him back to sleep and not knowing what to do when he wakes up around 5-6 o'clock and does not want to sleep or he gets very frustrated because he cant fall asleep.
I just don't think my DS gets enough and good quality sleep and thats why i consider using a sleep consultant.
Have anyone of you used one? Did it help? And would you recommend using one?
I contacted Katy Ferguson from Simple Sleep and she sounds very good but i just don't know if she is legit.

Any advice would be appreciated Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 23/01/2019 19:28

Stuckforthefourthtime
Tbf sleep consultant i have contacted said it may take 2 weeks to get results so i think her approach is quite gentle. She did say DS may be crying because he will be protesting and doesn't want changes which i do understand but i don't want DS to be distressed.
I just think DS doesn't get enough good quality sleep in a day because lets face it 30minutes its nothing for a growing baby. He gets tired and grumpy really quick and i cant leave him with anyone for long as i have to get him for a nap in less than 2h of him being awake. If DS would have two long naps in a day he would be able to stay awake for longer and i could implement some kind of routine.
I did not try any method yet as i really don't know how and where to start.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 23/01/2019 19:36

Stuckforthefourthtime
I am scared as i have spoken to my friend recently and shes got 2 year old son and she had to carry him for naps until he was 1 year old.
My DS gets heavier and wriggles a lot when i try to rock him. Sometimes it takes few minutes before he drifts off but sometimes it takes long time and it gets me exhausted. I may try baby carrier tho

OP posts:
babysleep4 · 23/01/2019 19:42

Hi OP my DD is 5 months and will only sleep on me. I am researching sleep consultants myself at the moment and wondering what to do. If there was a guarantee that it would work I would happily pay but it's a lot if money if not. It seems like a lot of money for just a plan.

Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 23/01/2019 19:42

PostmanPatIsIncompetent
Thank you very much for the name i will check her webpage as £100 doesn't sound bad. Sleep consultant i contacted is £280 which is a bit much for someone who is on maternity pay Hmm
What approach did she use? CC or PUPDor something else?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 23/01/2019 19:45

Babysleep4
I am exactly the same it probably would work if you follow it to the T and you are consistent tho.
I think i just need someone to tell me what to do as i am a bit scared of doing something wrong and upsetting my DS

OP posts:
itshappened · 23/01/2019 20:02

I think you need to be stricter with the routine. Never let your baby sleep past 7am. Teach them that the day starts at the same time every day, even if you are knackered and they've just gone back to sleep.

My daughter was a terrible sleeper due to reflux, so I spoke to Alison Scott Wright who is an amazing sleep consultant. My daughter is an early riser so we accepted that 6am is morning (useful as she has to wake up at that time to go to nursery). She then would go back to sleep for her morning nap between 8 and 8:30 for 45 mins max. I woke her up as she would happily have slept longer. She was always tired so I never let her stay awake longer than 1.5 hrs at this age during the day. Lunchtime feed at 11/11:30. Then as long a nap as I could get at lunch. Like your baby sleeping for longer than an hour took persistence. Then I allowed a half an hour nap mid afternoon, but never later than 4:30. Then it was bath, bottle, bed at 6:30. I realised 7pm was simply too late for her and she would just scream for hours as over tired.

Self settling started at around 6 months and I was strict with this in the day, so eventually she got the hang of it. If she refused to sleep at the allocated times, when it was time to wake up I would go into her room, open the curtains and get her up.

babysleep4 · 23/01/2019 20:37

It's awful isn't it? I started bedtime routine at 6pm (bath, change, feed etc)she fell into a deep sleep but woke as soon as I tried to transfer her. I have tried everything over the last few months apart from controlled crying but I am even considering this now which I really don't want.

riddles26 · 23/01/2019 20:51

I agree with @Stuckforthefourthtime in terms of whether you want this to change now or are worried about later. If you are happy how things are now (don't compare to other babies when you think about this, just go by him and his mood), then wait until you feel there is a problem as things will certainly change between now and when he's 1.

In terms of your concerns - he definitely will nap longer than 30 minutes but as others have said, its about being consistent. The key is getting him to link his sleep cycles so he goes back to sleep when he stirs from a nap. Other things with linking sleep cycles is having his sleep environment set up so he can go back to sleep easily - our sleep consultant said for room to be pitch black and white noise playing to drown out any other noise that could disturb. We didn't need to be this strict going forward but certainly was needed to get the naps going initially.

As the sleep consultant has already said, he will cry and protest to it but that is him not wanting things to change. However, you don't have to do CC and leave him to cry alone, you can comfort him - this takes longer but does work and is my preferred way. Saying that, my non napping DD took to the changes really well and we had far less tears than I expected - we had far more tears from overtiredness and irritability before sleep training.

As you have said, you need to follow the instructions the sleep constant gives you to the letter to get most for your money. They ask you to fill out logs and they will look at them and suggest changes to improve it but you will only benefit if you follow instructions from the beginning.
It will be similar to how @itshappened has described - he must wake at the same time each day and be put to sleep at the same time each day for it to work. If he misses a nap, he doesn't get to sleep longer to catch up. This was easy for me to implement with my DD because she never appeared tired anyway and was permanently alert so I never needed to work on stretching her awake times. My DS can't stay awake once he is tired and making him meet awake times would be close to impossible - I'm sure she would advise you on how to deal with this.

PoutySprout · 23/01/2019 21:49

certified paediatric sleep consultant

Sounds made up.

crazycatlady5 · 23/01/2019 21:54

Self settling started at around 6 months and I was strict with this in the day, so eventually she got the hang of it. If she refused to sleep at the allocated times, when it was time to wake up I would go into her room, open the curtains and get her up.

Jesus. I cannot understand how people can treat their children like robots like this Hmm

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 23/01/2019 22:06

We used Carole Mae consulting as part of a group with similar aged babies. She worked miracles for us!

FeelingFlat · 23/01/2019 22:09

I considered a sleep consultant recently. She was highly popular in my local area with a glowing review site and was almost constantly booked. I called for a pre consultation and she essentially said if I wasn't going to consider giving my breastfed baby a large bottle of formula before bed and letting her cry then she wouldn't be able to work with me. She insisted the 4 month sleep regression was nonsense and that my breastmilk was essentially water and that's why baby was waking for feeds and this is what is labelled as the 4 month sleep regression. What a witch - she explained quite proudly how she was a night nanny to a newborn and after the newborn cluster breastfeeding for 50 minutes (entirely natural in my opinion) she took baby off mum and fed a huge bottle of formula which put the baby to sleep. (This is not a formula bashing post by the way I was just horrified how she was almost medicialising formula for bf babies to encourage sleep - even at the newborn stage!!)

PostmanPatIsIncompetent · 23/01/2019 22:22

@Kinaslina86 She did us a gradual retreat plan which was to stay and reassure, pat, stroke, cuddle lying down, but not pick our DS up when he cried. She would have done us a pick up put down plan if we'd wanted but she advised that likely would take longer to work.

I'd echo what pp have said though - if you can't pay for a consultant, the two things that, in hindsight, made the difference were bedtime / nap time routine, and consistency of approach

PoutySprout · 23/01/2019 22:59

Self settling started at around 6 months and I was strict with this in the day, so eventually she got the hang of it. If she refused to sleep at the allocated times, when it was time to wake up I would go into her room, open the curtains and get her up.

Hope she repays you in kind in your dotage. :)

Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 09:04

@itshappened
I only let him sleep past 7 as then i am not worrying he isn't getting enough sleep in a day. 2-3h a day split in 4-5x30mins i don't think is enough for nearly 5 month old baby.

Is your DD improved her sleep after you implemented strict routine?
I wouldn't mind following a routine like yours but i just cant see DS sleeping for 45 mins never mind 1.5h Shock
In the past two weeks DS had a an hour nap 6 times which doesn't really sound bad but thats all with my help as i had to walk around the room rocking him before he finish first cycle and was going to start another and most of the time that doesn't work as DS opens his eyes and looks wide awake but an hour later he is grumpy and doesn't want to play.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 09:09

@babysleep4
It is awful. After he falls asleep on me after his bottle and rocking i have to wait 30minutes before putting him in his bed as very likely he will wake up. I usually put him on my shoulder when he is asleep so it makes it easier to transfer him to bed.
I really don't want to do CC as i don't think i can take DS crying even tho i know i can comfort him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 09:24

@riddles26
I wouldn't mind rocking him if i knew he will stay asleep for longer than 30mins and i can transfer him in his bed without him waking up but i end up holding him for his naps. And i cant leave him with anyone as he is too heavy for other people to rock him.
Do you think pitch black room for his naps would help? When room is pitch black in the morning (5-7 o'clock) he cant link the sleep cycles most of the time and wakes up after 30-40mins.

What did you do with your DD for naps?

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 09:28

@AnnoyedByAlfieBear
I will have a look thank you :)

What was your problem?

OP posts:
AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 24/01/2019 10:00

@Kinaslina86
My daughter was eabout 5 months and she would never nap in the day and although she slept for a decent stretch at night it wasn't until about 2am and she was up at 7. In less than two weeks she was having two big naps a day and settling at a decent time at night.
Carole Mae taylored a routine based on what we could fit in (ie: my older child's sch

AnnoyedByAlfieBear · 24/01/2019 10:02

Sorry, the child in question just hit post! 😂

Anyway, she taylored a schedule to fit with my pre-schoolers times and so she fixed our whole day rather than just sleep. It was quite flexible too.

itshappened · 24/01/2019 10:10

Yep my daughter gradually adjusted to the routine and was sleeping through most nights from 7/8 months. I was going back to work so simply couldn't survive on her waking every 40 mins in the night! I think you have to be consistent and persistent. I found once she finally started napping in the day, she gradually learnt to sleep at night too. We had severe reflux and milk intolerances to deal with, so it definitely took longer than I think it normally should. I also found that once they are sitting up and eating solids, things start to get easier too. But we still follow a strict routine now, and it works for us and she is absolutely thriving.

Alyosha · 24/01/2019 10:21

Dark room will help if you are consistent. 2.5-3hrs in a 12 hour day is fine. Go to a sleep consultant - you are more likely to value and follow advice you pay for

Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 10:50

@AnnoyedByAlfieBear
My DS sleeps okay at night although that may change anytime you just never know with babies Shock
You see we go swimming lessons on Saturdays and if DS doesn't have decent sleep before swimming he is irritated and usually cries. I would loooove for DS to have two long naps instead of cat naps so i will definitely check Carol Mae thank you Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 10:59

@itshappened
You really think if i don't let him sleep past 7 in the morning and have a naps at the same time everyday he will start napping better and longer?
What if I cant get him to nap do i skip it or keep trying? What if he wakes up before his nap suppose to finish? Do i stick to only 3 naps a day?
Sorry for many questions but as i said before i really don't know where to start for the things to get better. I am first time mum and i've got noooo ideaaa

OP posts:
Original poster
Kinaslina86 · 24/01/2019 11:02

@FeelingFlat
Thats terrible Shock she sounds awful poor babies
I hope you didn't use her at the end

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.