How to put a baby down to sleep

[Emmerina]

I know this might sound stupid but how do you put your baby down to sleep?
My lb is 13 weeks and I feed him to sleep (breast fed) and we bed share. This wasn't planned but is just the only way we have managed. I genuinely don't know how anyone puts a baby down for a sleep? ?
If I put him down he wakes up crying. I have tried waiting over 25mins, warming the cot (next2me), having something that smells of me and he always wakes up crying and won't settle. In the daytime he will often sleep in his rocking swing or sleeps on me. Although I don't mind bed sharing I am starting to feel quite trapped. I can't even slip away out the bed without waking him.
I really don't know how to do anything else?

Mississippilessly, yes it's rough having a little one at this time of year when it's too cold be outside for long and the short days don't help.

Think of it this way, the shortest day was on Dec 21st so we are getting a few more minutes light every day and by the time the weather is warmer our little ones will be big enough to enjoy being outside. We are going to have a lovely late Spring/Summer!

I must read the rest of her book, I only read the bits relevant to his age!

Amara woop woop! And I can stop putting 3000 layers on him!

I am a little ahead of most of you. And recognise everything you are saying. I was feeding every time my baby boy woke up. He would cry and cry if he wasn’t fed.
When he reached 6 months I realised it had to change. He was hardly getting any real accumulated sleep. I was worried for him and his development. I could see his mood was always better after a proper rest.
He was waking every 1/1.5/2hrs.
I feared he was consuming more at night than the day.
I decided to try and put him down every night at the same time. Sometimes it worked, sometimes meant spending hrs. I would feed him to sleep.
But if woke within 3hrs I would not feed.
It has helped. Not a Miracle cure but instead of every 1.5hts we are now getting a 3hr stint at some point or 2.5hrs. He was waking sometimes as he was over-full I think, and uncomfortable but still wanted food (as he had never had it any other way)

Sometimes he really screams and I just can’t bear it so I feed him, but I was surprised that sometimes a song, and a cuddle could stop the crying and he would then fall asleep very quickly.
I would set my stopwatch as the crying can seem to go on forever but actually it’s only been a minute!

I don’t think it has to be all or nothing.
I think you can try and gently not feed to sleep every time and just try and gently break the absolute association if you think they are waking needlessly.
But a lot of the time breastfeeding is a wonderful wonderful tool.

I am so glad I am not the only one! My 9 week old now pretty much only sleeps in my bed next to me and if I move he wakes up. Wishing he would sleep in his Moses basket or cot but I've tried and so far no luck as he wakes up pretty much straight away and won't go back to sleep. The fact that there's so many of us with the same 'issue' to me suggests we're actually doing a good job attending to our babies needs. As tough as it is on us it won't be this way forever (I bloody hope not anyway!)

A 9 week old baby is still very much in its 4th trimester. They should basically still be inside you, so things that feel like that work and things that don’t, don’t.

I could have written an number of these posts myself. My LO is 17 weeks now and i was driving myself mad with the "What have I done wrong?" until I decided to pay attention to my DH who kept saying "He's a baby - ignore the books. Every baby is different".

Ever since I decided to listen to that (I had heard it before but not 'heard' it IYSWIM) I have felt better. LO has been changing on a daily basis for the last two weeks and I've just gone with it. Ended up co-sleeping most nights but the important thing is that he and I are resting and getting some sleep. The 'how' is less important at this point.

Oh, and the HVs I've encountered all talk shit.

HTH.

Mumee, I think you've summed it up nicely and it is reassuring to hear of others in similar situations. This has made me realise I need to stop comparing my baby to friends' babies! He will get there in his own time.
In the meantime I am going to try to get him to sleep other ways than just breastfeeding all the time, even if just very occasionally. And spend a bit more time familiarising him with being (Not sleeping) in his cot to see if that helps

Amara123 2ith waking at the same time, would you do it regardless of when your baby has last gone off? DS woke at 6.30 this morning but was clearly still tired. Dh got him back off so it seemed daft to wake hi. He slept til 8.30.

Hi Mississippily

I think I'd get him up and give him a feed, maybe some light. LW says that they may only be awake for a short time in the first wakening, 40 mins to a hour. If the baba is full and still tired he or she might go into the crib at this point.