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Original poster

Arghhhhh f****** Dummy!!!!!

26 replies

BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 09:04

I’m writing this after a very sleepless (for me) night! My dd is 5 weeks old had dummy since 2 weeks (helps with silent reflux) and this last week she will not sleep at all unless it is constantly plugged in and obviously this requires me constantly plugging it in every 5-10 mins. She will sleep for 6-7hrs if I keep putting it in, it’s just I’m not sleeping at all all night Sad
Please if anybody has any advice I’m desperate! Do I take it away now cold turkey, persevere with it, just put up with no sleep, try different dummy???

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Bouchie · 15/12/2018 09:07

we went cold turkey for the same reason. 24 hours of hell and then a few weeks later with lots of very quiet times at night, and gentle massage he slept through. Good luck!

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 09:11

Hi Bouchie how old was your lo when you did this? Ive read a few times going cold turkey at such a young age is not fair on them but I really can’t see any alternative

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FreakyPurple · 15/12/2018 10:16

We fell into this trap with our first one and had broken sleep for nearly a year and a half because of it. I swore I wouldn't make the same mistake with my second. We went cold turkey when he was about eight weeks old after I recognised the pattern of having to continuously go in and re-plug every 10 minutes. It was 2-3 days of really hard naps and bedtimes but after that he was a great sleeper. Would go to sleep at 7 and sleep through till morning. Unless your HV or GP advise against it because of the reflux, I would bite the bullet and do it. Good luck - it's not easy but in the long run you'll be glad you did it.

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 11:30

Well 2 hours in to cold turkey and she is still very wide awake! Not crying but not sure how long that will last, definitely overtired now though. It’s going to be a loooong day

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lovely36 · 15/12/2018 11:32

I suggest you go cold turkey and take it off her completely. Sounds harsh but she'll only cry for maybe2 days and after that she'll learn how to self soothe herself. My son never had a dummy and was just fine.

FreakyPurple · 15/12/2018 12:14

Once you've started don't go back as that will be more confusing. Stick it out - you can do it

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 12:29

Thanks freaky she cried for around 15-20 mins (felt like an hour) then finally fell sleep, all be it on me but at least she’s asleep! Should be having another feed right about now too but nevermind. I’m shattered already Grin

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FreakyPurple · 15/12/2018 13:03

I know how that crying can feel like hours - just keep in your mind that in the long run it will be better for all of you. As long as you are there comforting and not leaving her to self soothe when she has not yet learned that skill, you are doing great x

MeadowHay · 15/12/2018 16:07

DD has gone through phases where she'd go a few hours needing it put in every 5/10 mins, and phases where she would wake hourly for it, but not 5/10 minutes the entire night Confused. We just rode it out, they were only phases, she's 6mo and wakes briefly twice or so in the night for it but she's in our room so it's not a problem. She has been a nightmare baby for no medically identifiable reason and we wouldn't be getting any sleep or peace without the dummy. Within the next few months she'll be able to put it back in herself anyway so for us it was worth it to ride out the tough patches, but then most babies aren't as difficult as DD so I guess it might not be worth it for other people.

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 17:03

Yes that’s how she was to start with she would go hours without it then sometimes would need it doing 15-20mins but she has got progressively worse and last night was the final straw! I actually put my stopwatch on my phone and timed it Grin she’s done two naps so far today without first was hour long and second was 3 hours long, we shall see how tonight goes Hmm
It will be hard when her silent reflux plays up we might struggle as the dummy really does come in handy then!

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MeadowHay · 15/12/2018 17:18

You could consider giving her the dummy when her reflux is bad, but removing it when she is calm, before she falls asleep, so as not to make a sleep association?

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 15/12/2018 18:33

Yes that’s what I was thinking too. I just hope this works, we didn’t get the dummy off our first ds until he was 4 Blush
I’ve just left dh in charge of her nap time and come back down to find her wide awake and crying Sad

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CuppaTea86 · 15/12/2018 21:06

Hang in there, we went through this just this week! DS is just under 5 months and was waking hourly at night with really short naps, due to dummy becoming unplugged. It's taken 2-3 days cold turkey and now he can soothe himself by sucking his thumb. Night wakings have reduced from 6+ to just two for feeds. I couldn't leave him to cry, so I used the pick up put down method to good effect.

greenpop21 · 15/12/2018 22:05

Both my DDs (now teens)had them until age 2.5yrs. Would do the same again.Life savers.

greenpop21 · 15/12/2018 22:07

We used to leave around 6 dummies in the cot and they'd find them in the night once they can roll and turn. Don't remember them coming unplugged that often before then. Good luck.

mamanestfolle · 16/12/2018 00:47

This www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/B003P49OEQ/ref=cm_cr_srp_mb_bdcrb_top?tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8 was a life saver for us!

jessstan2 · 16/12/2018 01:10

That is gorgeous mamanestfolle! Quite fancy one for myself.

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 16/12/2018 01:39

We had one of those for my ds and he I use to put a few extra around him (glow in the dark ones too)
With dd only being 5 weeks old she can’t find it herself in the night or even try and put it back in! I definitely dont remember this stage with my ds either this is why I had no hesitation in giving dd one in the first place. If only I knew Confused

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Halo84 · 16/12/2018 08:13

Why do you need to take it away? Our daughter had one until about 16 months. We took it away then, 2 difficult days, then all was fine. Our sons were fairly indifferent, so no issues.

Halo84 · 16/12/2018 08:15

PS. Is your daughter in your bedroom? If not, move her in until she’s older. Then when you are up, it’s not for too long.

Original poster
BettyBoo246 · 16/12/2018 08:47

Yes Halo she is still in our room. The reason for taking it away is I’m having to put it back in continuously through the night the longest she’ll sleep without it is an hour, I’m also worried I’m missing her feeding cues and just putting the dummy in Hmm it also took us till ds was 4 to get the dummy off him Shock
I thought maybe bite the bullet and do it now Instead of prolonging the inevitable

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Senac32 · 16/12/2018 20:22

Maybe off at a tangent - I read a report yesterday that babies whose parents sucked the dummies 'clean' themselves were much less likely to develop allergies later in life than those whose parents washed or sterilised the dummies.

isitisitwicked · 16/12/2018 20:24

A baby after 4 months can't remember having a dummy after 2 days. It's true I did this with my son

PinaColada1 · 16/12/2018 22:29

It depends what kind of baby you’ve got. If they are quite difficult to settle and want to feed constantly, then carry on with the dummy. It’s serving a use even if you’ve got to get up to put the dummy back in at night. I had a cot the same level as the bed, with low sides, so I literally only had to lean over grab the dummy then go back to sleep. I timed feeds so wasn’t missing any.

Halo84 · 17/12/2018 05:43

Betty, I think she’s still too young to take it away, but obviously, it’s up to you to do what you think is best.