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Original poster

How long did it take for your DC to sleep reliably with no sleep training?

67 replies

Mumof1DS · 27/09/2018 02:01

DS is 7 months old and not a good sleeper. He is also weaning at the moment, but is not hugely bothered by food. He doesn't self settle in his cot I don't think, and his sleep can vary from sleeping for a good 4 hour chunk to being awake every half an hour! He's breastfed and will sometimes feed to sleep, whether at bedtime or during a nighttime wake up. Sometimes he's awake for hours at a time during the night.
I'd like him to sleep a bit better now.
I don't want to leave him to cry and I want him to know that I will respond to his needs. He's not in our room as he is too big for a crib but his cot does not fit in our room. I can't co sleep with him as DH is a heavy sleeper and smoker. I also can't really share night wakings as DH is s shift worker. If he's not at work, he can easily sleep through DS crying at night.
I'm back to work soon and looking for positive stories on how you manage it when LO does not sleep reliably.
He usually sleeps ok during the day but this is rarely in his cot. He sleeps on me (usually after a feed) or in the car, sometimes in the pram, but not great in the pram and wakes up easily so I try to avoid it if possible.
He also currently shrieks when he wants attention much to my dismay.
So, what did you do? When did your LO start sleeping reliably or for longer chunks than an hour or so? Did they go through stages of only sleeping or settling on you? Is it something I just need to ride out? I'm happy to do that if necessary, but I am apprehensive for my ability to function properly at work! We can't afford for me not to go back next month.
Not really sure specifically what im even asking...! Anyone with any stories where you didn't sleep train? How long did it take?
DS has now been wide awake for over 3 hours and is busy trying to clutch my face. Anyone in the same position who just wants to come along for the ride?? Although there may be a nappy shortly as he's trumping like there's no tomorrow Confused
I also live in a terraced house so don't want to just put him in the cot to cry/shriek because of my poor neighbours Blush
Sorry for the ramble.

Feel like I should go get Brew Hmm

OP posts:
florenceheadache · 27/09/2018 02:21

I’ve never sleep trained and I’d say based on my own 3 and 3 grand children they reliably slept through the night between 2-5 years. Yes years in our case. Both my 2 year old grand children wake between 1-4 times a night. My 4 year old grand daughter will wake once and crawl into her parents bed after 2am.

Rebecca36 · 27/09/2018 03:53

I never sleep trained. Mine stayed up as long as he wanted and then flaked out. Was happy to co sleep. We got used to it, he would be asleep in own room for a while and then get up and come in with us. Myhusband used to say to him, "Slide in between us like a pencil, quietly, so we don't wake up". Makes me laugh to think of it now but I worried that he'd still be doing it at eighteen!!!! He didn't, changed overnight and liked having his own space.

Didn't last forever but was for quite a long time. I used to feel guilty about it, felt it had to be a secret until I heard from other kids that they slept with their parents for years.

Kids are all different, there's no one rule that fits all. Do what you think is right for your child.

Leyani · 27/09/2018 04:14

It got much better over time from about 18 months - he was a nightmare before. Most nights at 2 and reliably at 3 - and from then on the deep sleep of the kind where you can carry them from car to bed without waking up.

VioletWillow · 27/09/2018 08:07

I found sleep improved drastically for my older two around 2y, my middle was a bit under 2. My youngest is almost 17m and seems to be following the same pattern. That's for sleeping through, not being able to get off by themselves. I found that happened from 2.5-3 onwards. And they definitely preferred their own space from that point too.

katonic · 27/09/2018 08:17

I breastfed and co-slept until about 7 months, then we tried moving her to her own cot. It was horrible for about 10 weeks, up several times in the night to feed and lots of crying and wakefulness. Then at about 10/11 months she just suddenly got it, and from then has slept through from 7.30-6.30. She wakes in the night no more than a couple of times a month, usually linked to teething or illness. Months 7-10 were the worst! Got so much better after that!

Welshmaiden85 · 27/09/2018 08:20

Gentle training (as in good sleep routines, regular bedtime, not going in at every sound), about a year. Friends who did no training whatsoever about 2-3 years.

Abra1de · 27/09/2018 08:21

The big turning point for my daughter was stopping feeding to sleep. We didn’t have to sleep train her much if at all as she gradually started sleeping longer from about six months. She was always very attached to the edge of her sleeping bag and uses it to soothe herself.

Talking of which, sleeping bags were a great help for both of my children in cooler nights and stopped them waking up Because they’d kicked off the sheet and blankets.

HopeAndJoy16 · 27/09/2018 08:23

My DD was a godawful sleeper (day and night) until 11 months when she suddenly stopped waking for feeds (breastfed). We had a week of her sleeping through 8-7am, then she went back to waking just once at 5ish. We.moved her into her own room at that point and now she has settled into a pattern of sleeping 7.30-6 with a wakeup between 4 and 5am. She settles herself at night, i literally put her in the cot and walk out, and when she wakes up all she wants is a cuddle. We didn't sleep train but i think when she started nursery at 13months that helped with the self-settling. They tell us she takes herself off for a nap straight after lunch and sleeps for a good 1.5hours (we could never get her to sleep for longer than 45 mins at home!). Dr Jay Gordon has a good guide to night weaning
drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html

happymummy12345 · 27/09/2018 08:24

At risk of sounding like that hated mum, my ds slept through on his own from 3 months. He's always self settled as well. We put him down and left him for 10 minutes to settle down. He usually went to sleep within that time.

DunesOfSand · 27/09/2018 08:31

Aged 9, DS1 is still an awful sleeper. But from about 3, he would only need seeing a couple of times a week between midnight and 5am. And from about 4, he would wake but not need parental interaction.
Aged 2, his new born brother slept better than he did.
About 18 months we tried CC, but it resulted in as many tears from me as it did him (and DH slept through the 2 hour marathons, or drop back to sleep 5 mins after id asked for help for the full 2 weeks he persuaded me to try it.....)
We basically had DS2 so I could go back onto maternity, as his sleep patterns and work were unsustainable.

kettleonplease · 27/09/2018 08:36

My first slept through from 10 months, my second from 12 months. It did take a few horrible nights of sleep training (just patting back to sleep and refusing to feed), but then it fit into place.
However...it depends what you mean by 'reliably'. My 2 year old is very hard to get to go to sleep (often up until 8.30-9), but when she's asleep she's usually out of it until morning. She sometimes has nightmares however, so it's not reliable every night. My 14 month old goes out like a light at 7pm but wakes at 5am and is now waking up again once a night. She was sick last week and got used to waking up again, so If they are sick it can put you back to square one!

FortheloveofJames · 27/09/2018 08:36

11 months. DS stopped feeding to sleep at about 5 months and started to settle himself on his own after being put down awake. At 8 months when he started to crawl he needed to go down a bit more drowsy or he would get really upset. By 11 months we had a quick cuddle in our nursing chair with the lights off and then down in the cot. We still do the same at 16 months. He was a frequent waker, when younger, had issues with CMPA, and was super clingy. There was a lot of up and down in the first 11 months. Some periods of really good chucks of sleep, followed by multiple wakes, or periods of being awake in the night for hours. Randomly one night at 11 months he slept 7-6.30 and that was that. I can count on both my hands the amount of times I’ve been to him in the night since. However he’s just started walking and we are battling early wakes this weekEnvy but you can’t have it all 😂

elQuintoConyo · 27/09/2018 08:40

1.5yo. He was a cot-refuser, so we co-slept. When we moved him into his own bed he slept straight through from night one.

He is now 7yo and will join us if he has a nightmare or a storm wakes us. Usually we have no idea until we wake in the morning hanging out of the bed! He's a bit of a starfish, plus the dog will join us.

Firenight · 27/09/2018 08:41

About 4 years.

They both still sleep with us much of the night though!

Badwifey · 27/09/2018 08:42

Still working on it... She's 4.5

pumkinspicetime · 27/09/2018 13:25

About 8 months but that was with a very clear routine. I didn't leave them to cry for longer than 1 minute but I did sit beside them, then edge away, then sit further away. Etc. It was a fair bit of work getting them to sleep but not super noisy.

PotteringAlong · 27/09/2018 13:26

Between 2 and 2.5 years

SoyDora · 27/09/2018 13:28

I never sleep trained.
DD1 was 3.5 when she reliably slept through the night. DD2 was 15 months (and is now 3 and has never woken in the night since!).

TwittleBee · 27/09/2018 13:38

DS is almost 16 months and still isnt reliable sleeping through. I would say about 4/7 nights he will sleep through though. There were times were we have had a couple weeks in a row where he slept through and thought he had cracked it!

For a little while I have kept a diary of how we put him to sleep and how he sleeps at night, I have found that if he has a good pre bed time snack (usually a bowel of porridge or rice pudding about an hour before bed time) and a really peaceful and easy settling session (yes this might mean rocking him to sleep, or it might mean he happily just settles himself or need a feed to sleep) then he sleeps through. Unfortunately it isnt always possible to have this peaceful and easy settling session as he might be over tired, teething, generally just grumpy or not want me to put him in his cot at all.

ChanklyBore · 27/09/2018 13:44

18-19 months for one
Over 5 years for another

Can you share a room or bed with dc instead of DH

WeeDoughball · 27/09/2018 14:09

DS1 was 6/7 months. We had a bedtime routine but no sleep training. He tended to self settle at night but often needed rocked to sleep for a nap even when sleeping through the night.

DS2 was 3 months. Probably not as rigid a routine as DS1 as his skin is sensitive so doesn't get bathed every night but bottle and put in crib happens at the same time. He goes down sleepy but awake at 730 and that's him til 7-8. He's worse than DS1 for naps though. Really needs to be rocked, or in car, or in pram and even then still fights it so I have no idea how it works Confused

Dummies have helped both too actually. Sometimes DS2 starts stirring around 3/4 and if he gets his dummy back that seems to send him off again (he's still in our room)

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 27/09/2018 14:14

I didn't sleep train and I didn't do bedtimes till about 1.5 years.
Baby would hang out with me and eventually sleep in my arms. I would then put him down in his cot. This would usually be at about 11pm.
Eventually his day time nap got later and later until it sort of joined up with nighttime and he was sleeping from 8pm.
I put a bedtime routine in place at that point.
Did the same with both of mine and they've both slept through from around 2 years.

trinitybleu · 27/09/2018 14:15

Didn't sleep train, still wakes 5 nights out of 7 and wakes us too, 11yo.

Sparrowlegs248 · 27/09/2018 14:17

I did very gentle sleep training. Gradual withdrawal, at about 12 months. Very very gradual. He was sleeping though, albeit getting up very early, by 15 months.

IntentsAndPorpoises · 27/09/2018 14:19

Dd is 6 and still needs one of us to go to bed and wakes a few times a night...