How long did it take for your DC to sleep reliably with no sleep training?

[Mumof1DS]

DS is 7 months old and not a good sleeper. He is also weaning at the moment, but is not hugely bothered by food. He doesn't self settle in his cot I don't think, and his sleep can vary from sleeping for a good 4 hour chunk to being awake every half an hour! He's breastfed and will sometimes feed to sleep, whether at bedtime or during a nighttime wake up. Sometimes he's awake for hours at a time during the night.
I'd like him to sleep a bit better now.
I don't want to leave him to cry and I want him to know that I will respond to his needs. He's not in our room as he is too big for a crib but his cot does not fit in our room. I can't co sleep with him as DH is a heavy sleeper and smoker. I also can't really share night wakings as DH is s shift worker. If he's not at work, he can easily sleep through DS crying at night.
I'm back to work soon and looking for positive stories on how you manage it when LO does not sleep reliably.
He usually sleeps ok during the day but this is rarely in his cot. He sleeps on me (usually after a feed) or in the car, sometimes in the pram, but not great in the pram and wakes up easily so I try to avoid it if possible.
He also currently shrieks when he wants attention much to my dismay.
So, what did you do? When did your LO start sleeping reliably or for longer chunks than an hour or so? Did they go through stages of only sleeping or settling on you? Is it something I just need to ride out? I'm happy to do that if necessary, but I am apprehensive for my ability to function properly at work! We can't afford for me not to go back next month.
Not really sure specifically what im even asking...! Anyone with any stories where you didn't sleep train? How long did it take?
DS has now been wide awake for over 3 hours and is busy trying to clutch my face. Anyone in the same position who just wants to come along for the ride?? Although there may be a nappy shortly as he's trumping like there's no tomorrow
I also live in a terraced house so don't want to just put him in the cot to cry/shriek because of my poor neighbours
Sorry for the ramble.

Feel like I should go get

I was getting 5hr chunks by 8 weeks. Reliably 7-7 by 8months with a dream feed, of course there were a few hiccups along the way. DD always did love her sleep.

I know you don’t want to sleep train but honestly if you are going back to work and baby is awake for 3 hours in the night and can’t self settle there are going to be lots
Of tears. Self settling can be a kind thing to teach a baby, dd was so happy when she could get herself to sleep and sleep through versus grumpy and frustrated

But how do you sleep train?

I Still do not actually understand how people even do it?

Twittle the most common methods are pick up/put down (younger babies), controlled crying, gradual retreat, cry it out, rapid return (older toddlers). If you Google them you will find descriptions and instructions. Or your health visitor can probably help.

Mine slept through at 2.5 with no sleep training and has become a champion sleeper now. From about 18 months he required only minimal intervention- it usually only took a few minutes to get him back to sleep. I get lots of pitying looks from people when we talk about his sleep but I wouldn’t change the route we took and we’re doing the same with DS2.

4 years old to be reliably sleeping all night in her own bed

I don't think it's something that can be hurried up. Some children just are good sleepers and my son still isn't one of those. He's 16 months. I think it will just come on their own time, and weaning can unsettle them. Also I've always heard about breastfed babies waking more regularly than bottle fed babies. Could be anything including teething. X

6 months.

Mindchilder yeah I have Googled them and read around them but I just do not understand how it will work for my DS (16 months).

If I leave him to cry in his cot (because I need the loo, didnt hear him over hoovering or in the shower etc) it takes a good 15 minutes at least to calm him down with lots of rocking, swaying and some chamomile tea. Lately only way to calm him down if he gets like that is to take him for a walk!

(oh and FYI, DS used to self settle just fine but has totally regressed! Probably why I feel more desperate to do something because I got used to him settling)

The No Cry Sleep Solution is very good, and gentle - worked with our very sleep resistant Ds2.

Twittle - maybe you need to pick a method where you don't leave him alone.

Mindchilder we did try that one for a night last week, he just tried to climb out of the cot screaming at us and then it turned to tears. He got himself so worked up he was sick.

Cant remember what the method was called, but it was where you potter about the room.

It is just making me pull my hair out as he was such a good sleeper! I do appreciate your suggestions though! Really am willing to try anything (well within reason of course)

I think for my son it was about 2 and a half years old,he suddenly just seemed to get it !!

DS was just over 2, DD was 3.5. No sleep training at all other than a good bedtime routine. They never came into our bed but were both dreadful sleepers!

Now at 7 and 5 they are fantastic, absolutely no bother at bedtime, lights out by 8pm for them both and pretty much never wake up in the night unless unwell.

I did 5.5 years in total of being up multiple times in the night every single night without fail so I've done my time!!

One night. Now she sleeps 11h. EBF, 10 months old. I'm shocked I'm even writing this - the last 10 months have involved me reading this thread and writing many desperate please help me type messages. I've spent so many nights lying in fetal position on nursery floor, crying/screaming into a pillow, shushing for hours on end until my mouth is dry and my soul has died, rocking, patting until my arms is dead.

When we decided to just put her down and see what happened, to stop BF to sleep....it bloody worked. It's no exaggeration to say that life has changed. I realise we are probably lucky in this respect but it is honestly a game changer

Personally...i could no longer cope with the constant feeding, rocking, shushing by 6 months and did controlled crying to teach ds to self settle. He was using me as a dummy and it was starting to affect my mental health being permanently attached to him, I needed space in the evening. The first night he cried for 20 mins with me going in every few minutes to give him a kiss and tell him I loved him but it was sleepy time. I still fed him twice in the night. The second night took 10 minutes, third maybe half an hour? By the forth night he got it and it took maybe 2 minutes. I repeated it for night weaning at about 9 months when dd was on school summer holidays and neighbours were away. Took 2 nights with a bit of crying but he now sleeps through 7-5...always going to be an early riser not much I can do about that. In my mind those few night of crying totalled less crying than every night before with all wake ups and inability to settle. I did it for naps too and he is a happier child from getting a full nights unbroken sleep and decent self settled naps....and I am a better mother for being less tired and getting some time for me back. That is just my story though....everyone is different...there is no right or wrong way. Good luck xx