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Sleep

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Original poster

How long did it take for your DC to sleep reliably with no sleep training?

67 replies

Mumof1DS · 27/09/2018 02:01

DS is 7 months old and not a good sleeper. He is also weaning at the moment, but is not hugely bothered by food. He doesn't self settle in his cot I don't think, and his sleep can vary from sleeping for a good 4 hour chunk to being awake every half an hour! He's breastfed and will sometimes feed to sleep, whether at bedtime or during a nighttime wake up. Sometimes he's awake for hours at a time during the night.
I'd like him to sleep a bit better now.
I don't want to leave him to cry and I want him to know that I will respond to his needs. He's not in our room as he is too big for a crib but his cot does not fit in our room. I can't co sleep with him as DH is a heavy sleeper and smoker. I also can't really share night wakings as DH is s shift worker. If he's not at work, he can easily sleep through DS crying at night.
I'm back to work soon and looking for positive stories on how you manage it when LO does not sleep reliably.
He usually sleeps ok during the day but this is rarely in his cot. He sleeps on me (usually after a feed) or in the car, sometimes in the pram, but not great in the pram and wakes up easily so I try to avoid it if possible.
He also currently shrieks when he wants attention much to my dismay.
So, what did you do? When did your LO start sleeping reliably or for longer chunks than an hour or so? Did they go through stages of only sleeping or settling on you? Is it something I just need to ride out? I'm happy to do that if necessary, but I am apprehensive for my ability to function properly at work! We can't afford for me not to go back next month.
Not really sure specifically what im even asking...! Anyone with any stories where you didn't sleep train? How long did it take?
DS has now been wide awake for over 3 hours and is busy trying to clutch my face. Anyone in the same position who just wants to come along for the ride?? Although there may be a nappy shortly as he's trumping like there's no tomorrow
I also live in a terraced house so don't want to just put him in the cot to cry/shriek because of my poor neighbours
Sorry for the ramble.

Feel like I should go get

OP posts:

TomHardysNextWife · 27/09/2018 14:25

My first was an absolute nightmare and didn't sleep through until around a year so I was much more committed to bedtime routines with our other 2. They reliably slept through the night by 7 - 8 months apart from being poorly. We did bath, quiet stories and they had music playing in their rooms on low. I also never fed them to sleep, unlike I had done with my 1st. They had a good feed before their bath, and a small top up in their rooms before settling themselves. They always had their late morning naps in their cots too.

Mindchilder · 27/09/2018 14:27

Depends what you mean by sleep training - I didn't leave to cry or do controlled crying, but I did encourage good sleep habits, routines etc. 8 and 10 months.

EthelHornsby · 27/09/2018 14:27

Eldest 6 weeks, others not so much. I did give minimal attention at night beyond feeding and changing though, so nothing interesting to wake up for

MYA2018 · 27/09/2018 16:31

Ds1 - 10 months. I had enough, we were up hourly all night from birth and I couldn't take it (breastfed and coslept also). 3 nights of controlled crying ( return after 1 min, shh, leave, wait 2 mins, then 3 mins etc) and it was cracked and he's slept through the night ever since and he's now 2.8 yrs old.

Ds2 -slept through since he was 7 weeks old. I've never done anything different. He just loves his sleep naturally

I never wanted to 'sleep train' as i was all into gentle parenting but do u know what... those 3 nights haven't done anything to him whatsoever. They just turned a very tired miserable household into a very happy household and taught my son how to fall back to sleep without being rocked or fed or patted. That's not cruel at all. We now have a lovely bedtime story, kiss him goodnight and he switches his lamp off. We walk out and he shouts "love you!". 2 years ago I never thought that was possible. It's been the fastest 2 years ever :-)

figelnarage · 27/09/2018 22:15

After trying to avoid sleep training I had to give in at 17 months for my own sanity. My DS was sleeping through in around 3 nights. He was obviously ready but I'm not going to lie, it was a hard few nights.

TwittleBee · 27/09/2018 22:19

What I don't get with CC though is it takes me at least 15 minutes to settle DS and he has to be picked up if I leave him to cry (have had to if on the loo or didn't hear him over the Hoover etc) so how do you cope with situations like that?

3TresTrois · 27/09/2018 22:19

DC1 was 2.5 years old when he stopped waking up in the night and needing to be fed/comforted for ages to go back to sleep. Happened overnight (literally). Nothing I did or didn’t do. He must’ve just been ready.

It was hard going, I’ll be honest. I don’t feel like I really started feeling human again until he slept through properly... so hugs to you.

TwittleBee · 27/09/2018 22:20

(FYI feel close to doing some sort of sleep training after 4th night in row of rocking to sleep for over 2 hours and feeding 3 times, this past week has been tough on us actually)

3TresTrois · 27/09/2018 22:21

Oh, and DC2 slept 12 hours a night from 6 weeks and has been the same ever since...now 10 years old! . Again, nothing I did or didn’t do. I had the good fortune to realise that, as she was my second child.

NordicNobody · 27/09/2018 22:27

We night weaned at around 18 months and his sleep improved enormously. He was waking multiple times every night, then he started sleeping through about 50% of the time. He's almost 2 now and sleeps through 90+% of the time BUT we are still co sleeping, I don't know how he'd do in his own bed.

Jent13c · 27/09/2018 22:35

Sleep cycles naturally lengthened towards a year so we had a couple of good nights but definitely not sleeping through. I co slept but my husband is overweight and a very deep sleeper so we had a small double mattress on floor of very baby proofed nursery and I slept in my own bed until baby called then I would switch to his bed. It was a lifesaver when I went back to work.
At 17 months he had first sleepover at grandmas and didn’t ask for milk the next day. That night when he did his usual wake ups (3x a night) I offered him water in a cup and his dummy and he went straight back down to sleep. He has slept through ever since.

We have now switched to low small double bed and as of 20 months he just all of a sudden started self settling, we just say goodnight and walk away! I actually can’t believe that we have got here considering how bad a sleeper he was until 17 months. He’s a dream now.

There is so much pressure online to sleeptrain and a lot of information about ‘sleep associations’ to make you feel super guilty about not sleep training but their sleep cycles do naturally lengthen

Lou573 · 27/09/2018 22:42

2 and half without sleep training. Night weaned at about a year.

Miljah · 27/09/2018 22:43

My DS is often still awake and up for a party at 2am. About 3 nights a week currently.

But he's19 and a uni Fresher.. 😂

piglet81 · 27/09/2018 22:50

My son's sleep has improved dramatically since he turned 3 (years...) but he was a dreadful sleeper for the first couple of years (rarely slept more than 2 hours and screamed like a soul in torment every time he woke) and only a bit better between 2 and 3. I was absolutely on my knees with exhaustion - sounds melodramatic but I really can't convey how bad it was especially the first year I was back at work. Now he generally wakes up once and either comes and gets in with us or cries to be fetched - either way he usually goes back to sleep pretty quickly.

Miljah · 27/09/2018 22:53

FTR we CC'ed both our DSs to preserve my sanity. DS1 at 14 months. Took 2 nights. DS2 at 7 months, which also took 2 nights.

We were realists inasmuch as we recognised 'sleeping through' was 5-6 hours (as opposed to their current 'sleeping through' which is 10 hours...) 😂

Every family situation is different. I would have been suicidal if DS1's sleep had continued in the same vein. I get that many mums have more inner reserves than I felt I could draw upon, so we did what was right for us.

I will never feel any guilt for CCing mine. For us, it became them or me. To CC, for some, means you have reached the end of your exhaustion road. And, 48 hours later- we were transformed.

No one CC's their baby for fun.

piglet81 · 27/09/2018 22:53

Oh - no sleep training, and I night weaned him around 2.5 years, I think.

Miljah · 27/09/2018 22:57

piglet yes, on my knees with exhaustion. With you there. Which is why we had to explore options- and by far the clearest was CC. As we cannot continue like this.

I am almost embarrassed to state what a transformation CC made to my family's life. Rested me, but, critically, self-settling child.

piglet81 · 27/09/2018 23:02

You have to do what's right for you

Miljah · 27/09/2018 23:05

Night weaning at 2.5? You're a better woman than me! I did 11mo with DS1 (a bit circumstantially as we had a major foreign trip)- he survived! DS2 self-weaned at 15 months.

I completely understand how some mums feel so much more strongly than I could ever about the 'bond' of BF beyond the supposed benefits, (6 weeks?) but I was so happy to reclaim my body. When DS2 went 'sod that!' -at 15months, I knew my job was done!

PlinkPlink · 27/09/2018 23:09

@rebecca36 love that. Haha I found that oddly heartwarming.
My DS is 15 mo and I slip in to his room when he's asleep as he still feeds through the night. Can't wait to fall asleep in our own bed and have him come in to us 😂

LondonLassInTheCountry · 27/09/2018 23:12

My nephew is a bloody dream.
Iv told my sister."wait till the next one"

11 months now.
Always settled by himself, had to wake him for feeds when he was under 6 months
Then would wake once for a feed then go straight back to sleep.
From 8 months slept right through. From about 9pm till 7.30ish...

She doesnt realise how good she has it :)

CocoaM · 27/09/2018 23:12

Mine are 2.5 and 4.5, eldest has just started school which seems to have sorted his sleep once and for all! He used to go to sleep by around 10.30, wake at 5ish and come through to our bed, and sleep till 8ish. Now he’s asleep by 8.30, and sleeps through till 7ish.

Youngest is still co-sleeping and wakes two or three times most nights, but usually feeds back to sleep easily enough. I work FT and DH is SAHD, so if she won’t go back to sleep he gets up with her. We’re both tired most of the time, but not to the point we can’t function, and are just hoping she also gets the sleeping through thing at some point! Can’t imagine the bliss of a full night’s sleep every night!

Miljah · 27/09/2018 23:26

See, cocoa, it's yet more evidence of what one family will put up with, over another. I'd've been homicidal if I or we were being woken at all in the night, regularly, by a 2.5 year old!

I'd've felt I was looking at 'habit', not 'need'. But yes, we all have different lines in the sand!

Sipperskipper · 28/09/2018 06:46

I don’t know if this would be classed as sleep training, but from about 5 weeks old had a pretty strict daytime routine, bedtime routine and used swaddle and a dummy for all sleeps. Was then sleeping through from about 8 weeks. (Not breastfed though).

Mum2OneTeen · 28/09/2018 07:11

Three years old, co-sleeping helped my lack of sleep amazingly

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