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Original poster

What is baby Whisperer WI/WO method?

57 replies

fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 17:38

Walk in/ walk out? How do you do it and what is it? Dd is too heavy for PU/PD. Have seen WI/WO on Babywhisperer website, but can't find out how to do it. Please help, before i go mad from lack of sleep....

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Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 18:03

Anyone

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Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 18:12

Anyone????!!!

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oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 25/05/2007 18:28

is this to do with controlled crying??

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 18:37

I don't know, but babywhisperer was not a supporter of cc so it must be different

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cruisemum1 · 25/05/2007 19:21

i would imagine it is the same as cc inasmuch as you walk in, comfort from cot/bed side and walk out for ever increasing periods?????

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 25/05/2007 19:36

yes that was my thinking cruise

cruisemum1 · 25/05/2007 20:01

just a new name for an old method then?!

oldwomanwholivedinashoe · 25/05/2007 20:17

exactly

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 20:29

But The Baby Whisperer was completely and totally against cc and am not sure it is that. All her books talk about babies losing their trust in you if you do cc, and she completely condems it.

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cruisemum1 · 25/05/2007 21:09

fizz - i hate to disillusion you but (imho) there is not a way to 'sleeptrain' infants that does not involve some level of crying. I was totally against any form of cc so i tried Bby Whisperer methods, namely pu/pd. my ds screamed so loud it crushed me to hear it. Needless to say i abandoned it totally. the idea for that is that you pick them up when they cry, calm them and put them down - cue more crying so....again this is purely my opinion, it is a form of controlled crying. i also read NCSS whihc invoves a VERY gentle method of encouraging lo's to sleep independently. This did not work for me and again it actually did involve some crying despite it's name. In despearation i did do cc - it worked within 4 days and now lo sleeps for 10 - 11 hours straight most nights. in the end it was the kindest method for me because i wasn't pissing around confusing him with cuddles then putting him down only to pick him back up again etc. i tried a bit of gradual withdrawal too but this seemed to inflame ds further as i was in the room but not holding him. poor darling boy seemed utterely frustrated and despairing. I am NOT advocating cc in any way shape or form but just offering my opinion. hth.

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 21:29

OHHHhhh God! Don't know what to do now.....

Did cc with dd about 3 months ago and it did work. But dd was suffering seperation anxiety
so I felt bad about it.

She started this about 3 weeks ago, after an illness when we took her in bed with us.....and now we can't get her out......

She screams when she is put down, and screams until someone goes to he. She will settle if someone is sat at the side of her, but don't want to go down that route really, although have already half started.

I have tried stuff like rubbing her back which will settle her, but it goes on for ever.

However tonight I sat with her, and she fell asleep fast and I just sat there for 10 mins.

She was always a good kipper before this. She has just started at a childminder so it may be that.

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Original poster
fizzbuzz · 25/05/2007 21:37

What is NCSS?

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cruisemum1 · 26/05/2007 06:33

no cry sleep solution by elizabeth pantley

JimJammum · 26/05/2007 16:11

Fizz, you may find gradual withdrawal better if LO is settleing when someone is with her. It is in the Millpond book "Sleep". Basically, you phase the contact out over a period of days - if you have to pat dd to sleep at the moment, you do this for three days, and then just put your hand on her for three days, then sit by the cot etc. until you don't even need be there for her to settle. It's quite gentle and you can go at your own speed with it, but it will take time. Less crying though....May help??

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 26/05/2007 20:55

Tried that sort of thing last night. All went OK until she woke about 2.45am.

I sat there until 5.15am, and then gave up, and took her in with us

3 hours in the dark on a cold chair was just too much

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cruisemum1 · 27/05/2007 20:52

fizz - so sorry that you had a rough night. i do think that in the early hours any form of cc is so hard. your lo is confused, you are tired. it seems so harsh. i did feel that staying with ds seemed cruel to me because it was like i was taunting him wth my presence by watching him cry and not offering comfort. i found it better to comfort/leave and then go in to him at regular intervals. that's just me and my ds though. hope tonight is better for you both.

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 29/05/2007 14:33

Cruise I hope you are around. Need advice desperately.

I did cc when dd was 7 months old, and it worked.

Tried sitting at side of bed ( see above) Since then have tried just sitting there in evenings. Effectively held hostage for 3 hours every evening. Can't cough, sneeze or move without her waking up. She is like the troll in the "3 Billy Goats Gruff"

Found this all very tense making.

Tried to do cc at nap time today. She kept sitting up What are you supposed to do when they sit up? Also hv says if they get really upset to pick them up. Tried that and more screaming.

Gave up after 3/4 hour, although she did stop crying, she just stayed sitting up

Totally confused

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Original poster
fizzbuzz · 29/05/2007 14:34

or below even.......

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Original poster
fizzbuzz · 29/05/2007 14:35

Cruise Pleeeeeeese help....

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cruisemum1 · 29/05/2007 15:01

fizz. i'm here!!

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 29/05/2007 15:06

How long does it take? How traumatic is it?

Only managed 3/4 hour at nap time before I went in and cudddled her to death. Huge sobs breaking my heart

WTF are you supposed to do if they sit up? Does it make them more anxious as I keep reading?

Am completely pissed off with it all, but cannot do sitting at side of cot, it is like torture.

Any advice very much appreciated. I know you had lots of trouble with your ds, as I kept seeing your name on loads of threads, but you must have cracked it now!

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cruisemum1 · 29/05/2007 15:08

fizz - re sitting up..... i would just pick up, lay lo down, kiss and leave. keep doing it. if lo gets very distressed then i pick up cuddle etc, he usually stopped immediately so i deduced that nothing earth shattering was wrong wtih him. it feels frigging awful to calm them then put them back in their cot to have them cry again but the alternative is not an option for me as i have another child who cannot be neglected for hours on end while i stay with ds. tbh i didnt even bother with naps until he was so good at sleeping in his cot at nights. up until then (only the past couple of weeks) i used to have to get the buggy u and wheel him around the hallway . I hated doing that and he still sometimes cried so what was the difference? Now he sleeps beautifully in his cot for well in excess of an hour each time despite his grumbling at the beginniing of every nap.

cruisemum1 · 29/05/2007 15:10

oh and if it is any consolation - i NEVER thought i would EVER get this sleeping thing cracked. it was hard, confusing (still is), heartbreaking, exhausting but SOOOOOO worth it ti have a son who sleeps well, is refresehed, rested and enjoying his days

cruisemum1 · 29/05/2007 15:13

oh and another thing, i am a pushover type of mummy, a wimp, a ball of maternal mush so if i can do it....YOU CAN!!!

Original poster
fizzbuzz · 29/05/2007 15:15

But don't you have to keep going in all the time to lay him down? And how do you do that without spoiling extending waiting period?

Eg if you are on 4 minute or 5 minute wait, what are you supposed to do? I would be going in every 10 seconds with her.

She does stop crying when picked up, but keeps on sobbing IYKWIM.

How long did it take you to crack it, and what was first night like?

I went back to work last week, but am currently on 1/2 term holiday, and want to crack it before I have to go back. I cannot face all those sodding energetic teenagers on no sleep. Cannot be done! Will kill me!

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