Sleep is for the Weak! we got too big?!!??!?!!??

[cruisemum1]

can you believe that?! we got too big?
we should surely get an award from Mumsnet?

morning all, sorry for those crappo nights out there. tam, i'm with you this morning sister, feel like death warmed up, uggghhhh.

think i'm joining the early risers thread as well as this one, dd up for the day at 5.30 this morning for the love of all that is holy, is a disturbed night not enough?....

bed at 7.15pm, woke at 10.30 and wouldnt settle so came in for a cuddle, fed at 2.30am, then up at 5.30
went for a nap with her at 8.45am expecting the usual 90 mins, but dp was blundering around getting ready for work and disturbed us both wanted to shout 'just bugger off to work will you' poor dp!!!

Dreadful night for us too - do they coordinate? Up every 2 hours during the night. DD has a blocked up nose, dh during the night saying let her cry it out, me saying she's ill. Another leak at 5.30am DH shouting its because I feed her at night. Think my DH more trouble than DD. New cleaner failed to turn up so far this morning. Off to Monkey Music, may be spreading her germs but I need to get out!

poor tibs.

and our poor dh's. i told mine off last night for literally yelling into the phone after LO had gone to bed. is the person on the other end hard of hearing? no, why? he he.

we've got BF course today, only 4 more sessions. contemplating putting LO in the creche, if he has a nap beforehand and seeing how he goes. even if its just for 20 mins. when is your course starting tibs?

i'm thinking of continuing and doing the supporter training too, guess i'm not doing anything better as not going back to work yet. though i don't know if i should do it with BF network or NCT or La Leche... don't know how to decide that. easier to just continue with BF network - path of least resistance.

Hello everyone
Not sure if anyone remembers me. I haven't posted for a while, I just never seem to have the time. It also takes me so long to read through all the posts!

Well DS2 is nearly 6 months now and sleep is getting worse and worse (if I ever thought that possible). Last night (and this is fairly typical):

sleep at 7pm,
awake at 8.30
awake at 10.30 (in bed with me)
awake at 12
awake at 1.30 for an hour and half
awake at 4.45
would only sleep in my arms - until 5.45
awake at 6.30

it's just endlessly, relentlessly exhausting and depressing isn't it. We've tried everything, he just doesn't seem to go into a deep sleep. To add to the stress we're moving in a few weeks to a new area, which means new school for DS1 (he's desperately nervous)and everything else that goes with it all. God I'm so tired I honestly don't know how I'll manage.

Do your LOs sleep well in the day? (sorry if this has been covered) DS2 catnaps and wakes up if you put him down or (if he's in the pram) you stop pushing. I'm sure some of this is why he sleeps so badly at night.

ds was also up at 5.30 this morning
have put him down in his cot and he's chatting away to himself. when he goes off to sleep think i might have a nap. will it make me feel worse though?

hi katie rocket. god your night sounds hard
DS was the same at that age and has very sloooooooowly grown into sleep when not teething or ill [hmmm] (still wakes twice a night but only for 5 mins)but that's no use to you as your ds is only 6 months old. for me gettig him napping during the day def helped. it meant (and still does to some extent) that we didn't go out until after lunch but it was the only 1 constant thing in his routine and we needed to keep it!
i only have ds so sympathise sooooo much that you have 2 to consider.
big hug

tap poor you. hope you manage to get some rest today. i fully intend to go back to bed when dd does safe in the knowledge that dp not around now to wake us up

katie that sounds like a hard one. are you trying any particular 'routine' to get lo to sleep? as tam says, it does seem to help a bit if they sleep better during the day, however dd seemed to come to it in her own sweet time and although i tried various things, one day it just seemed to click and she started sleeping longer. i found that staying in helped but its difficult when you just want to ascape hope the move goes ok and that you've got plenty of help. poor ds1 moving schools, am sure he'll be ok tho, how old is he? big hugs to you

amber - our poor dh/p's do get the rough end of the stick sometimes dont they? bless em just as well we're so lovely most of the time dont know when the course is starting, soon, i hope. will be good to get my teeth stuck into something. am really missing the first aid course i think it'll be great if you go on to do the supporter course. the support i've had definitely made the difference between giving up at the first hurdle and still bfing at 10 mths!! how long are you planning on bfing for if you dont mind me asking?

Katie, how tough on you. We have had a few similar nights recently and they're awful. Hope you can get a catnap on the sofa at some point today.

I don't know about anyone else but the crappy weather isn't making me feel any livelier!

Meanwhile, in an exciting development, DS napped for one and a half hours this morning - in his cot [falls off chair with shock]. This is totally unheard of - but very welcome! Not that I did anything useful with the time, just watched Matthew Wright and surfed MN

Katie: the daytime naps sound just like DS at that age. We gradually got him to nap in his cot - kept trying it and eventually he started napping there regularly. The thing that helped me was doing a naptime routine (draw curtains, read same book, feed, bed) at about the same time every day - times taken from day 1 when DS seemed tired. First day took over 45 mins to get him to sleep each time. Second day 10 mins. He still has awkward patches where he'll take ages to go off, or wake up after 30 mins, but in general things are much better. We didn;t start the routine till about 8 months, but might well work earlier for you

Amber and Meg - it's heartening to hear you both had good nights.

Katie - sounds really, really hard. My LO is also a light sleeper, and rubbish at naps, and I agree that this seems to make night-times worse.

Tapster, Tibs, EP, Tam - - though it's nice to have some company in the land of the living dead.

Tibs and Amber - LOL at your DPs getting into trouble for making noise. My DH is on nights. He is asleep, but farting so loudly I think I will have to move DD's Moses basket out of our room so she can sleep better.

EP - I will try and learn from you, and be Zen-like in my calm, despite my natural disposition as a stress monster.

Thanks everyone, I've said it before and I'll say it again, it helps so much that others understand, I don't know anyone in RL with non sleeping children.

DS2 has always been pretty awful sleeper but not this bad. HE also has always got up early - anywhere between 5 and 6.

I'm sure that if I could get DS2 to sleep better in the day it would help. The only way he will sleep in the day is being pushed in pram (and if you stop he immediately wakes up) or I can rock him to sleep and then lay him on the bed and sleep next to him but in either case he'll only ever sleep for 40 mins tops and he definitely needs longer. In terms of getting him to sleep in the cot I honestly don't know where to start. The second you put him down - no matter how fast asleep he is, and how gentle you are, he wakes up. It is so frustrating. If you do it a few times he just ends up getting frustrated and upset and sometimes I think it's just better that he sleeps.

It is so blinkin hard on the whole family (including DS1). Last night DS2 crying woke DS1 up (he wet the bed bless him, he's being doing that a lot - anxious about move etc) and then he didn't go back to sleep for an hour! DP says he's going to write a book called 'The incredible non sleeping family'!

Tamdin, Meg, Tibsy, EffiePerine - how old are your LOs now? (sorry, I'm sure I could find that out by reading through all the previous messages).

Thanks bags.

Meg, just seen that you bought a bedside cot - how has that been?

and sorry that should have read "DS1 has always been pretty awful sleeper but not this bad."

Katie - my DD at 6.5months started on her own extending her naps from 45mins to 1.5 hours - two of them each day . Which like Tam means that I can't really go out until after 2pm unless its the local shops - which drives me insane. I put my DD down to sleep in her cot for naps from 12 weeks, now at 7.5months will nap well in cot or car but never in the pram - can be pain. Better naps=better sleep in my view, I usually feed DD to sleep for naps - don't care so long as she sleeps. Used GR/GW for nighttime sleep worked v well until bottom teeth came through and now she has a cold. We started at 6 months with GR at it was very quick - now just put her down with taggie blanket after feeding and off she goes.

katie my ds turned 17 months yesterday and on a good night goes to bed at 7 and wakes at 12ish and 3ish for a few minutes. He is still in a cot beside our bed and also co-sleeps part of the night. normally 4 onwards as it means he'll sleep until after 7 which i need!
we're rennovating our house atm so live in an apartment but when we move (oct) am planning to put him into his own room. Am prepared for a nightmare with that so anyhting better will be a bonus

But in the day we just can't put him down. Have tried and tried and tried but no matter how deeply asleep he is he just wakes up immediately.

does he have a dummy kR?

In th Millpond sleep book it says leave them where they fell asleep for 10mins then put them down in cot - worked for us.

Hi Katie, like some of the others have said our daytime sleep just started to get better on its own I'd say at about 8 months. From being a hardened 30min napper my dd does go about an hour to one and half at the moment however today she's back to 30mins Which I guess is what I cling to about the nights. Perhaps she'll get better on her own.

Your nights sound awful, I've been there too but thankfully they're currently not that bad. I'm not sure if the sleep = sleep thing. I could never really see a pattern but I know a lot of people think there is a great deal of truth in it.

Right, so our night. Bed at 7 easy. Milk, story, cot and I left the room she went to sleep on her own. 8pm mega mega meltdown, screamed and screamed. I tried sitting by the cot and patting. DH did the same. The only thing that stopped her and calmed her down was me almost laying in the cot with her. This was after about 20 mins of her being very upset to the point of sobbing which is awful to hear a baby do anyway, she did finally go off until about 1 then into bed with me until 6.30. What was all of that about then? I was about tearing my hair out and after hearing those sobs wished I hadn't resisted holding her to ease the trauma for both of us. Those gurus would have you believe that if they can settle themselves to sleep then they can do it during the night. Obviously not so and by blindly believing it, DD and I went to bed feeling awful. I couldn't sleep because I hate to hear her get so upset and she obviously wanted her mummy. A big boo hoo for tears

ginger could that be teething? sometimes when they lie down the teething pain in the ears can be very painful apparently (?)

Ginger poor you and DD. Glad she settled in the end.

Katie, having got the bedside cot home and assembled it, we found it wasn't v practical to have it up against the bed - didn't fit flush against it so you'd have to make some kind of bolster to fill the gap. As DS is very rolly I would worry all night about him getting stuck!

BUT I will say that a cot with drop-down side is v useful - much easier than lifting him in and out of crib. Means that after night feeds I can just kneel by the side of the cot, lay him gently on the mattress while cuddling him, then remove my arms slowly and put the cot side back up - most of the time this works without waking him.

For naps and (usually) when he first goes to bed I put him in there awake and can kneel right by him and stroke his head/hold his hands until he falls asleep. He has a dummy to get him super-sleepy, though - I try to whip it out before he falls asleep so he doesn't need it to sleep IYSWIM.

Oh, and DS is 17.5 weeks.

Tam ahh yes I didn't really consider it despite DH poised with calpol simply because if I laid in her cot she'd wrap herself around my arm and go to sleep so I thought it was just her wanting cuddling.

Hiya Girls

Got sent here for support! Ds1 is nearly 7 months and not slept properly since birth.
He feeds 2-3 hurly day and night (b/f) but is up every 1-2hrs in the night. Tried co sleeping but it's not for me. Dh works with machinary so needs sleep to funtion and I have 4 other children so controlled crying etc... is not an option.

Heeeelllllllppppppppp!

Hi again Magnolia . Not sure who esle is around this afternoon - for me, DS is nearly 9 months and has gone through a long period of waking every 2 hours or less at night. Not sure what to try next - managed to sort naps out and getting the bedtime routine together but he still wakes up .

Have you looked at the No Cry Sleep Solution? I'm kind of following it - trying one thing at a time and giving it a week or two to see if it helps.

Things that have helped in the past (he has had phases of sleeping for 3-4 hours at a time):

putting him down sleepy but not asleep, i.e. unlathcing him when he finishes feeding but is not yet asleep

putting him down on his side not back (only tried this when he was confident at rolling)

sorting temperature - too hot or cold?

consistent bed-time routine and settling in cot when sleepy but awake

consistent naps (not that that one has worked yet

I only have 1 child so feel for you with 4 - were your other children good/bad sleepers?

Thought I would post our typical night so you can see what I mean:

6.30pm last solid meal something like sweet potatoe and fish.
7pm, bath and relax with massage
7.30pm breast feed
8pm bed
10pm awake (tried to shush to sleep but cries harder so feed for 5 minutes0
10.20pm back to sleep
12am awake (as above)
12.15 sleep again
1.45am awake (as above)
2.15am sleep
3.30 awake (bought him downstairs in despair!!)
4am back to sleep in travel cot
5.35am awake
5.45 asleep until 7am