Would you rather.....?

[Lemondrop99]

Have a baby who sleeps brilliantly in their cot, having 2+ hr naps and settles themselves happily to sleep BUT would only sleep in their cot, meaning you had to dash home for naps and it made getting out and about very tricky.

OR

Would you rather have a baby who would happily nap out and about so you were free to head out for the whole day BUT wouldn’t sleep in their cot. That meant you had to walk in any weather to get naps in their pushchair and you have to get them to sleep at night and do a tricky transfer without waking them.

Was discussing our babies different sleeping habits with friends recently and was just curious on the general consensus of which type of sleeper people would prefer.

The first kind as then I'd get more rest!

Neither is great but the first if I had to choose.

Second (and that’s what I got). Can’t stand being stuck in.

I have the first. 30 min naps max in pram or car. I won’t lie in can be a right pain but really in the grand scheme of things they only nap for a short time. It’s defintely got easier to cop with as he’s got older. He’s down to 2 naps now and we go out after morning naps and have plenty of time. And now it’s summer and light again we go out after afternoon nap aswell. When he drops to one nap I don’t think it will bother me at all because I’ll need that time when he’s sleeping to get things done so being at home will suit me

My first baby was the second one and my second baby was the first one.
I'm going with number 1 as when they can't settle themselves to sleep in their cot it's just brilliant, my first baby I had to drive up and down in car or walk round the block etc

Sorry can settle themselves

My first baby was the first one and although it's a bit of a pain it's only for a short amount of time...she was just having an afternoon nap by 18 months so we could go out all morning. She also slept well in the car though so often the return drive from morning activities turned into a nap on the driveway! My second baby does both but only sleeps for 40 mins at a time regardless of where so he is always a bit overtired. The school run messes up naps at both ends of the day at the mo, I just can't seem to sync his naps so I just wing it and hope for the best!

Thanks all, interesting response.

My baby is the first kind. My friends mostly have the second kind. I was saying that it was quite restrictive to be stuck at home, but they all seemed to think I was complaining over nothing!

Now don’t get me wrong, I love that he settles himself happily to sleep without tears and I adore my 2 hr break over his lunch nap. I do realise it’s temporary, and at some point his awake times will stretch and we can go out more. And when he’s a toddler, I’ll be glad we have an established lunch nap.

But it’s nothing without its problems. I have no proven way to get him to sleep if he doesn’t want to. He’s recently refusing the third nap, and the whole “take him for a walk/car ride thing” simpmy doesn’t work, so we’ve ended up dropping it before he’s quite ready. I end up having to be “that mum” who can’t go places because her baby is napping, and people think I’m being ridiculous and precious and should just “ put him in the pram and get on with it”. I can’t get to many classes because we have such a narrow window out of the house and I don’t drive. So often other mums want to go out at lunch time and we can’t go.

Overall, I’m pretty happy with his sleep, but it’s not perfect. I’d love to sometimes just be able to chuck him in a pram and go wherever I want, knowing he’ll sleep. I’d love to know that, even if it meant walking in torrential rain, I was guaranteed a nap if I took him out in the pram.

I guess, both have their benefits and both have their problems. I was just interested to see what other people thought

the first which is what dd2 was. It meant she didn't sleep at either of her childcare settings when I went back to work when she was 7 months, but did on my days off.

Dd1 didn't nap at all from 6 months.

I had two of the second kind. I'd say it's preferable on balance, we were always flexible to go out and anyone could settle them as they didn't mind who was pushing the pram. Plus I got loads of exercise...

But no two hour breaks!

That’s my fear Kimlo!! He’s awful without sleep and I imagine daycare is going to be a nightmare

lemondrop I wouldn’t worry too much. The first few weeks mine hardly napped at nursery but after that they had some kind of magic and he napped perfectly there but not at home.

@lemondrop99- you sound just like me!!!

My family think I’m mental by sticking to our routine and mostly being at home for nap times. They are always commenting on it. Of course I sometimes wish that I’d be able to go to lunch and he’d sleep in the pram happily but he just won’t. I think they think I’ve made him this way but at about 10 weeks he just stopped sleeping in the pram for any decent time. You do miss out on things like that but I just feel that for me, needs must. I wish I knew more people who had babies like mine as I seem to be the only one. My DS doesn’t sleep as well at night if he doesn’t nap properly during the day. We are EBFing still at 11 months, he doesn’t take a bottle and when he does wake in the night he won’t go back to sleep without the boob. It’s always been this way for us since he was born so I’ve done every single wake, every night. I think that if I’m the one that has to get up every night then I do what I have to do to make things easier for me and that’s just the way it has to be.

I promise it gets easier when they drop to two naps. Also, what I tend to do once a week or if we have something planed is let DS sleep for as long as possible during the morning nap and then go out. If I do this once it doesn’t make too much of a difference but I wouldn’t do it two days in a row unless absolutely necessary. Have you tried a snooze shade on the pram?

We are going on holiday for the first time next week and I won’t lie it’s worrying me a bit 😂

That’s good to hear (although I’d like him to keep napping at home too!). He’ll be about 14 months when I go back to work, so hopefully down to just one lunch nap which I hope he’ll be too tired to resist!

Thanks James. Glad I’m not alone!! I’m sure people think I’m making it up, but I’ve just decided to go with what my baby has quite clearly decided he wants to do. Not much else I can do about it!!

Annoyingly he won’t switch his naps. I’ve tried but 9/10 he automatically pings awake after 30 mins in the morning. He likes his big nap over lunch, and now the third nap is on it’s way out, I feel I really do need to prioritise the only decent chunk of sleep he gets a day. We’re making good use of our garden in this weather between naps as a compromise.

We’ve just bought a snooze shade yesterday so will definitely try that out, although I’ve only ever got 30/40 mins make out of him when he does finally give in on the go.

He’s still struggling at the end of the day without the third nap, but one he adjusts, I’m hoping for some afternoon adventures

1st as being indoors doesn't bother me.

Oh I'd definitely take one of the first type. As it is I've got a baby that won't do either.

How old is your little one? And how long after they wake do you put him down for his 1st nap?

He’s 6.5 months. His current routine is roughly

Awake 6.30/7
2.5 hrs awake
Nap 9.30-10
Awake 2.5 hrs
Big lunch nap 12.30-2.30/3
Awake 3.5 hrs (absolute max 4)
Bed 6.30 if no third nap

He has done the odd 1.5hr nap in the morning but it’s very rare and usually only when he’s exhausted from a bad night. He’ll then only do 1-1.5 hrs at lunch. Initially I thought it would be better to spread the naps equally but he gets grumpy after a lunch nap less than 2 hrs, even if he had a longer morning nap.

Although his lunch nap went awry today (due to the heat I think) and he woke up after only 1 hr 40. I didn’t want to put him to bed as early as 6pm and he hadn’t had enough overall day sleep so decided to try and force the last nap (won’t do it after a solid lunch nap but can sometimes convince him if the lunch nap was shorter than usual).

Knew he absolutely wouldn’t go to sleep in the cot for that nap, so stuffed him full of milk then took him out in his pushchair. Covered him with the SnoozeShade, put on white noise and took his mussy with us. He kicked the SnoozeShade for 15-20 mins 🙄 but finally gave in (without a tantrum!) after 2hrs 50 mins awake time. Obviously delighted that he napped in the pram, albeit with a lot of effort. However that 30 min nap finished at 6pm, so bedtime was pushed a lot later than usual. Still, a miracle pram nap!

The first kind please. Instead I have a baby who will only nap ON me, so I can't take her out OR have a break.

I have the first kind (she’s 11 months) and I love it! She’s on 2 (1 hr long) naps now- one at 10-11 am and one at 2.30-3.40. We go out in the window between those naps and it works fine. I like being at home anyway, and use her nap time to either cook or relax with a cup of tea!