Worried I’m creating bad habit!!

[crispaddict76]

Hi

My 12 week old had his jabs on Wednesday and for the last three nights has started fussing and waking more in the night. Whereas before he woke once in the night for a feed he has been waking twice and then also waking fussing when he really isn’t due a feed. Last night he really fussed in between his feeds and on one occasion I picked him up, cuddles him back to sleep and put him down. But at about 5.30ish I ended up just putting him in with me for a couple of hours. I did this the morning before.

I guess what I’m worrying is that I am creating bad habits and he will now come to expect this?? Is this just a phase he is going through and does it pass??

There is nothing bad about cuddling your baby. There are negative physiological impacts on your baby’s developing brain if you don’t cuddle him when he needs it.

I've posted a similar post on this topic. My concern (aside from the safety concerns) is that I don't want to create a bad habit that sees a 5 or 6 year old still co sleeping with us.
The consensus seems to be that it is very unusual for older children to need to co sleep and you aren't spoiling your baby by Co sleeping, only helping your baby to feel safe and protected if they need this reassurance.
I think that maybe this idea that babies can be spoiled by this is an outdated notion that has been disproved by more modern research.
But I still feel guilty every time I bring him into our bed at 4am

But I still feel guilty every time I bring him into our bed at 4am

Tiny babies need - biologically and psychologically - to know their parents are near. It’s good for them. Nothing that you do at this point will impact them as toddlers and children. They’re completely different animals!

As it happens DD (7) coslept last night. She was sick. It makes her feel better to be with one of us and it’s easier to keep an eye on her if we don’t have to get out of bed. Likewise if she has nightmares she might come in in the night. It’s quite rare now and from about 5 she’d rather stay in her bed anyway. No problem. If adults get comfort from sleeping close to another adult why is the normal expectation that tiny babies/children won’t?

Trust your instincts.

Oh, please don't get me wrong. My 9 year old son has come into our bed twice since Christmas, after a nightmare and when he felt unwell. He often climbs in on a weekend morning for a cuddle too.
I just know that I would've met with a series of eye rolls and knowing looks if I were to say we were co sleeping with our baby every night.

I just know that I would've met with a series of eye rolls and knowing looks if I were to say we were co sleeping with our baby every night.

So what? It’s got fuck all to do with anyone else.

So is the general consensus that it won’t cause bad habits or should I stop now after the last two nights of doing it?

You won’t form bad habits. (And I’d debate bed sharing being a bad habit anyway.)

Any ideas as to what this fussiness and change in sleep could be? I want my generally chilled out baby back!!! I thought the growth spurt or effects of the jabs would be over by now. He’s 13 weeks not 12 as I originally posted (must be sleep deprivation!!)

4 month sleep regression starting.

It’s the mental download for sitting up, crawling etc. Could also be teething.

He is dribbling like mad and sucking his fists but I know that can also be normal at this age!! I feel like I just don’t have a clue what I’m doing or what to do to help him sometimes!! I just hope it passes soon!

Follow your instincts. Babies have done this for tens of thousands of years with parents who don’t have baby books or internet. We wouldn’t have survived this long had we not known inherently what to do. :)

www.mother.ly/life/in-the-absence-of-the-village-mothers-struggle-most#close?utm_source=rebeccaeaines&utm_medium=partnership&utm_campaign=fbpost

It’s so upsetting that Mother’s these days are conditioned to believe cuddling your baby and responding to their needs, especially at night, is a bad habit