Looking for any tips on what we may be doing wrong here! My 20 month old DS seems to be really struggling getting back to sleep when he wakes at night. 3 or 4 times a week he wakes and it takes 2 -3 hours for him to drop back off (the whole time he's trying to sleep but just can't seem to drop off). This has been going on for 4 months now so I'm thinking 'just riding it out' isn't working. So as not to drip feed:
Up until 1 year old was a frequent waker. From 12-16 months he slept through the night the majority of the time
we follow the same bedtime routine every night, tv off, dinner, play upstairs, bath, milk, story, bed. Myself or DH stays with him in his room until he falls asleep
if DS cries myself or DH go in to him. We sit by his cot but don't 'engage' with him (we will hold his hand if he wants this). If we try and leave before he falls asleep he cries
He has a nightlight and white noise playing, both of which he's had for over a year
He's still in sleeping bags, we have 2 different weights and we check the expected temperature overnight and use appropriate one so he shouldn't be too hot or too cold
he has a comforter but has never had a dummy, he always sucks his fingers and holds his ear when tired/falling asleep
we've tried introducing a pillow to see if that helps, it doesn't seem to make any difference.
he has one lunchtime/afternoon nap which tends to last between 40 to 90 minutes.
Not only is it taking its toll on myself and DH being up so much in the night my heart breaks for DS trying to fall to sleep. It's like he just can't switch off. Any advice would be much appreciated.