Fffffffff what is wrong with this baby!

[snabigailflagstabble]

My son is 10 mo and there are various sleep issues. Those are another post. He is fed to sleep and we co sleep - another post. He has been fuck arsing about at bedtime for months (since he learnt to crawl at 7mo. He is now walking ) but this week he's taken it to a whole new level and is still up gone 10pm (usual bt 1930-2000) He lies down, feeds, has his fill, gets up and off he goes. Pops back 5 mins later for a bit more as if he wants to sleep.... it then his constantly flailing limbs get the better of him and he's off. Ive seen him trying to feed in full downward dog this week. So I've given up, again, I'm downstairs having a nice relaxing fizzy water and he's found a welly which he's having a serious look at by my feet. If I go out of his sight he'll lose the plot and if I pay him any attention he'll fuss and whine for boob then he'll have some and he'll be off again. I'm furious. What am I doing wrong.

We get up at 7. He's also a crap napper. Usually has 40-60 mins at around 10am and around 45-60 mins between 2pm and 4pm but these are very inconsistent and sometimes he just doesn't bother

Have you tried weaning him off co-sleeping and putting him in a cot?
I haven't read your co sleeping thread but I know my friend is also having trouble getting her LO to sleep independently since co-sleeping.
My LO is 8 months and we had her in a co-sleeper crib until she was 5.5 months old and her sleep wasn't great, awake a lot during the night etc, we moved her into her own room in a cot and by 6.5 months she was sleeping through the night.
The first few nights will be rough but it's worth it for both your sakes in the end.
Also you said about the naps during the day.
Where does your LO nap?

UPDATE the 10 month old is in the kitchen using his walker as a skateboard. time to get rid of that then. and note the trail of destruction that took him to his destination. GO AWAY CHILD. 😑😑😑

@LeafyLainey that's the final resort/what we will most likely be doing when daddy gets home. in the meantime he's stuck with mummy for another 4 weeks and we need to survive it!!

I've always read that once they are upstairs for bed not letting them come back downstairs, I know that's easier said then done but it might help some how.
As you co-sleep do you go to bed at the same time as your son or do you leave him in bed until you are ready to go to bed?
What's his bedtime routine like?
Since my DD was bought home from the hospital she has had the same bedtime routine and I believe it has helped her with her sleep.
Her bedtime routine is dinner at 5:15, bath at half past 6, dressed for bed and bottle at 6:45 then put down once that is finished with her mobile on and she's asleep in 5/10 mins then wakes up again around half 6/7am. It has changed time wise the older she has got but bath bottle and bed have always been in there.
We also sleep trained her at around 5 months so if she does stir in the middle of the night she's happy to put herself back to sleep.
Again that was tough for the first few nights but I'd say after a week she was self settling and going to sleep on her own.
Are his naps the same time each day?

You must be exhausted/resentful!

Firstly, get a stairgate to keep your DS out of the kitchen (unless you have everything childproofed beyond my wildest imagination). Teach him to walk up and down stairs as a priority too (that might scare him...or at least he will be more cautious).

My strategy might back-fire (DD(10) is still stupidly sporty, but can do it with me as a taxi driver), but I used to make sure she had plenty of exercise. Lots of walking (get reins if you are worried about tantrums), then lots of swimming. Keep snacks at the ready in case you over-do it.

It is getting lighter in the mornings/evenings so invest in blackout curtains.

No idea about co-sleeping, but make sure your evening routine is dull...very dull.... and calm around the time you want DC to start winding down.

Good luck (some kids just don't seem to need sleep...I have some lovely adult friends who were like this FWIW).

Where’s your dp? If you say he’s in the military, you are me, 9 years ago. Once dh came home and I was less knackered with the day to day stuff, it made the night times so much easier. Once I got ds sleeping in his cot, he started sleeping for longer stretches. I started prioritising naps in the cot and a proper routine during the day. That did help the night time situation and he would sleep in the cot longer at night too. Have you tried rubbing his back, patting etc to get him to sleep in the cot? I look back and wonder how I got through it, I was permanently knackered, all the time. You can do this!

It might not be helpful at all but I read somewhere that if you put babies to sleep on the earlier side of 7:00pm then they sleep for longer stretches (my dds bt used to be 8:00pm after her bottle but she’d spend half hour just laying there talking baby babble and then I gradually moved it forward to 7:00 and she goes straight off) it might not help but it worked for us, also getting a seriously struck bedtime routine in place, dinner at 4:45, play or park (the fresh air knackers her out) then bath at 6:00, massage until 6:30, into bed clothes, read a book then bottle then into bed by 7:00. Give everything a try anand you’ll find something that’s works for your DS, it usually takes two weeks for a routine to be made so if you can power through the next couple weeks with a strategy that works for you then your DS will fall in line. Good luck!!

My DH was away until my DD 16mo and we coslept and fed to sleep to survive - it was great and there's no issue with that really.

Naps - you definitely need to get him to nap more. Any way, any how, however long. If he's up at 7, I'd say 10 is too late for his first nap. Could you try 9-10, then 12:30/1-2, possibly squeezing in 4-4:30 if he's not slept much.

Nighttime - I agree with the PP, it's got to be very dark and very very boring. If he's not napping much I'd say you need to be starting bath and bed by 6:30 so you can be feeding in bed by 7. He needs to relearn that he lies quietly and feeds to sleep, firm hand on his chest if you need to. I definitely wouldn't bring him downstairs because it will be keeping him awake.

He does sound overtired and it's coming out as very active. I agree that you need to get him out in the fresh air and walking/scooting as much as possible so that he's tired for a nap/bedtime.

Hi

I have a 10mo who is very similar to what you describe. But he was FF from the start, self settled til he was 6m (when he could crawl).

Night time sleep is so erratic I have no idea what could happen one night to the next and that then impacts naps. Really hard to get him to sleep day and night - I don't know what to do about it.

I don't think it's the fault of the cosleeping etc - mine 'sleeps' in his cot but I am in and out of that room several times one night and then the next he might be wide awake for a couple of hours. I am at a loss and am just waiting it out!

Just wanted you to know we are both in this awful boat! Your house is nice thou xx

Hi @Chosenbyyou hoping this will pass for us both (mine still awake but starting to fuss this will be bedtime no# 3 this evening

Months 7-11 were rough for us, crawling, learning to walk, communicating more (with gurgles!) - I honestly believe you just need to ride it out and it doesn’t need to be fixed. Mine is 12 months now and for the past week has gone to bed at 8, had a quick feed at 11 and then woken up when it’s light. She could have won awards as a non sleeper for her first year! Hang in there

OP, I bet there are times you can’t sleep because there’s something on your mind. Imagine that thing is learning to walk and talk - two of the biggest developments for any human. Do you think you’d be sleeping through with all those new neurons firing?