The great non-sleepers... continued (again 😴)

[Jellybean2017]

New thread for night (and daytime!) chatter for those awake more than they'd like with a non sleeping baby/child 😊

My DS is six months. First baby likely to be only baby if I don't start getting more sleep! He is a nap and sleep fighter but incredibly cute so I choose to forgive him 😂

@sakura ours has been in the huge cotbed in her room since about 8 or 9 weeks she hated the Moses basket, so I think it just depends on the baby! I am in her room with her - we didn't just leave her to it. I'm hoping at 6 months I can just move back into the master bedroom without too much fuss. I'm sure she won't miss me tossing & turning in the ridiculously creaky bed!

Morning, not the worst night here but could have been better. Ds managed 2 hours in his cot but was in with me the rest of the night, I tried to stay strong but you just can't argue with s 4 month old, they're so unreasonable.

AH DH slept on the sofa to see if it's his snoring keeping us all awake, hmm guess what, it kinda is! I don't really know what to do about that!

No snow here, in a little jealous but also glad as it means we can go out.

I hope you're not too Tangry this morning ladies, have a super day! 😄

@Sakura03 we've had ds in his cot bed at the end of our bed from about 12 weeks I think... he kept hitting the sides of his Moses. We still have a cellular blanket tied to the outside on one side so it's snug then the side facing us is clear. He didn't seem to mind :)

@AMagdalena so sorry for your loss

@UtterlyConfused111 OMG you're a better woman than me! Jeez is he that ignorant of day to day life?! Can you just go out for a day at the weekend with no warning and leave childcare to him with the message 'it's ok, you can sleep during the day x'. Or if you're bf take the baby but leave the 2year old (take the tv remote and gadgets so he can't just use easy street). Maybe he'll get the idea then?

Oh what sad news AMagdalena very sorry for your loss xxx

whoAteAllThePercyPigs we swaddled LO till he was just over five months. By that time he didn't flail so much and transitioned into a sleeping bag easily, although he's still not a great sleeper. I thought we'd still be swaddling him as a toddler as it was the only way he settled! For the first few nights he slept with his arms straight down by his sides because he was so used to being swaddled that way. He's still not much of a wriggler in the night just a crier

I second going out for the day / away for the weekend and leaving your AH to it with the kids utterly I think it's the only way they understand.

Second day in bed with raging mastitis. I get blocked ducts a lot but think this is an infection this time due to the awful fever and the fact that feeding frequently isn't helping. Just called the doc, waiting for a call back. Can barely move so hoping some antibiotics will shift it.

At least DH is being less of an AH today. He's managed everything that needs to be done on his own this morning without sighing and has just taken LO out for a walk. He said to me before he went see it just takes me a day or so to get in to the swing of things I think that when DH becomes AH we really to be firm insisting they step up. In the past we've had some very honest conversations about how both of us felt out our depth when DS1 came along and DH admits he shied away from the responsibility. So now I just pull him up. I also make time for myself without asking, as in I'm doing x on this day / evening so I'll be out It doesn't mean things are perfect by a long shot but it's better than dealing with the festering resentment that builds up. I'm going to Edinburgh in April for a few days and leaving him home with all three DC. I never would have left the other two when they were as young as LO is now but like I said, I think it's the only way for them to step up!

@xxrealistmum
Well done on the trip to Edinburgh and for the honest conversations with your DH. I am thinking of doing the same and leaving him to it but I really do feel bad about the babies. I have this vision of him sitting downstairs leisurely drinking coffee while baby screams her head off upstairs. I have this bad feeling he’s capable of it; and I don’t want the babies to suffer. He would definitely park dd1 in front of the telly the whole time. It’s not like playing chicken with the washing up or laundry - when I’m pissed off at being the laundry fairy I just let it pile up in protest until he does it....but with babies it’s different.., meh
For the blocked duct - I had earlier as well, try lots of massage under a hot shower? I also had a pump and I pumped every two hours, which was horrific but helped.

@whoateallthepercypigs
One armed swaddling is what we used on dd1, to wean her off the swaddle so we had some one armed flailing for a time. And then just putting the swaddle around her under her arms very tight, and then finally got rid of it altogether.

@mummycuddles
What?! You need more than half an hour?! How f&&king unreasonable! I swear if there had been a spade to hand I would have bashed him in the face with it.

And sadly, my AH is that ignorant of day to day life. In my previous pre children life i saw husbands who didn’t help with kids or house work and thought... well it’s the wife’s who is infantilising him. How my judgemental crows have come home to roost! Anu attempt to get AH involved to teach him to help, means he tries for a couple of days and then it’s back on me. Or I get accused of being bossy. I know DD1 he can do loads with - play, feed, take out to the park, but he won’t do it consistently and any effort to make him do it, well it’s constant confrontations, and you just resign yourself and do it. I’m too worn out to ask, then nag, then fight and nag again. My mum says just put up and do it yourself, because this is only a short stage in the kids life when they need you so much and not worth destabilising your marriage over with constant arguments.

And on that happy note, dd1 has just announced “poooo!”

utterly that's exactly what I thought. I said I'd never marry a man like that, but didn't realise I had till ds was born. Not going to bring it up for a bit it will cause an argument that I don't want.

He talked to me today about some things that have been getting to him (studying related) and I think that might be why it's been so bad for the last few weeks. I forget that I need to have a bit more patience with him sometimes, he's struggled with his mh health the last few years. Although he's better I think that he still needs more time to think and process things it's just difficult to have patience when I'm so tired

realist hope you're feeling better soon

I made an error it was coming up to DS bedtime and he was way over on his awake time but DH came in with take away and DS seemed happy so I didn't put him to bed and ate tea. I now have an angry overtired baby.

DH has to work again on Sunday after he told me he wouldn't have to go in. However I've negotiated a lie in on Sunday as he doesn't have to go in until 10. He's only working a couple hours so I will get to see him.

Oh deer @Meepmoop overtired and angry baby is just hellish, I've gig the opposite here, he's having a nap now....... Definitely paying for this tonight😩

He is still very angry, 30mins of feeding hasn't sent him off to sleep yet. I think he's broke, what's the refund procedure?

I totally get that utterlyconfused I never left DS1 with DH more AH at the time for the same fear. It's only three kids down the line and a lot of pulling him up that's made a shift.

meepmoop I hope your tangry LO has given up the fight and settled into sleep.

Starting to feel a bit better this evening. Breast still agony but my fever seems to have broke. Was about to say I'm hoping for a good night but then I realised how ridiculous it is that I still harbor the hope of a good night when it never happens! I think we've had about three good nights since he was born. Sigh. I should probably just come to accept the wakeful nights instead of being constantly disappointed!!

Hello - new to this site.

i have a one yr old who is STILL not a great sleeper...some nights he wakes up and stays awake for over an hour.other nights he wakes up ebery hour..sometimes he takes forever to fall asleep or will only sleel if I rock him to sleep(he is a big boy now too) and other nights he wakes up to babble and try to get out of bed.

He has a good routine and goes to bed between 7 and 8..

I have become one of those mothers filled with envy when I hear other peoples baby slept through the night from 5 weeks!!! Glad to have found this site and hear others going through sleepless nights too

@AMagdalena so sorry to hear about your friend I hope you get the answers you are looking for

@utterlyconfused111 what if you left DH/AH to it for a short time and built up?

@meepmoop all complaints about the product are to be handled by the DH/DP and customers should be generously compensated in chocolate

Pressed post too soon! On wake up number 2 already, just rescued a distraught DS from a foot stuck in cot moment. Stingy eyes galore already

7 months here. Definite only child!!!

We've had one wake up so far, hoping to get at least 2hours before the next one. How ridiculous is it that right now 2hours if sleep sounds good?

meepmoop I've done that before, how do they go from fine to overtired in a few seconds and always at a bad time.

Hope you get some sleep everyone.

Second wake up...oh dear, here we go.

Just logged on thinking I'd start a sleek deprivation support thread. Is this it?! Nearly 10 month old on his third waking already. He's always been crap but this week he's terrible. Starting to lose the will.

Wake up no. 2 here
Decided I'd make him wait a bit to ensure he was really hungry. Waited almost half an hour, crying getting increasing more furious so then I fed him only to have him take a few half hearted sucks whilst he blissfully sleeps on the breast! I on the other hand, could devour a three course meal right now!!

Welcome to the newbies. This is a great source of support for tangry mums of a sleep thief!

Hi @haypanky yes this is the place to be! Welcome to the club!

@realistmum we are also on feed 2. Less than three hours since first one so not sure actually hungry.

Not feeling too tangry just yet... Hungry though! 😂

Not had any sleep yet. DS has an awful cold and will only sleep propped up on me. I've given up on trying to do cot transfers.

I haven decided that my OH must be a saint (not that I'd ever tell him!!).

He does the bedtime to first feed shift which at the moment can last as late as 4am. He has mentioned that LO is doing a lot of rolling over and needing seen to in the night. I, with all the confidence of a person who has been sleeping in another room, said he is probably fine just ignore him if he wakes you by rolling.

How wrong I was.

Settled to sleep about 10.30. He rolled at 12.10, 1.45, 2.00, 2.10, 2.20, then woke for his feed at 3.45. And he moaned and thrashed every time he rolled over... but if I turned him back he just rolled again.

And my OH only gets to sleep in peace from 4-7 then goes off to work.

I feel really bad! I'm up 4-5 feeding then he sleeps soundly until 7ish so I'm well getting the better deal at the moment, but I don't want to give up my decent sleep at the start of the night!!

I haven decided that my OH must be a saint (not that I'd ever tell him!!).

He does the bedtime to first feed shift which at the moment can last as late as 4am. He has mentioned that LO is doing a lot of rolling over and needing seen to in the night. I, with all the confidence of a person who has been sleeping in another room, said he is probably fine just ignore him if he wakes you by rolling.

How wrong I was.

Settled to sleep about 10.30. He rolled at 12.10, 1.45, 2.00, 2.10, 2.20, then woke for his feed at 3.45. And he moaned and thrashed every time he rolled over... but if I turned him back he just rolled again.

And my OH only gets to sleep in peace from 4-7 then goes off to work.

I feel really bad! I'm up 4-5 feeding then he sleeps soundly until 7ish so I'm well getting the better deal at the moment, but I don't want to give up my decent sleep at the start of the night!!

This is a night from hell..
DS has been awake and screaming pretty much all night. I had a breakdown and DH took over. I couldn't sleep though as I could here him crying. DS did a poo which DH sorted seemed a bit better but started crying again so I thought I would try and feed him which made him mad and then he threw up all over me and himself. So I passed him back to DH who managed to get him back in his cot for DS to sleep for 38 minutes. He's now sleeping on me. Total sleep for me 30minutes.

Meepmoop sounds awful! Hope you get a bit more sleep.

NinaMarie we've been having problems with ds waking himself up rolling. He's only been rolling for a couple of weeks but seems to have forgotten how to back to to his back.

We've been up every hour ish and at 5 he woke up thinking it was a great time to play . He's smiling and giggling at me now, which is really cute but frustrating at this tine of night/morning. He does this a few times a week -wakes for 45mins -1hour to play then will go back to sleep. Most of his wake ups have been him moaning in his sleep that gets more and more till he wakes himself up.
Hopefully we'll both be asleep soon.