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Original poster

What went so horribly wrong with DS routine yesterday - help please 4mo

89 replies

Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 06:52

So DS has been waking every hour for 9 weeks. Hes 4mo. So I've been gently trying to settle him using the pull off method (he's ebf) and putting him down very nearly almost asleep with some patting (i will work up to him being awake). In the last week hes started sleeping 2.5 hour chunks and weve had one 4 hour chunk. Yay!

Yesterday, disaster. Hes been awake every 45min, in some cases 30min and will only settle with chewing on my boob although he also fed quite abit too. As far as i can tell he was overtired. He usually sleeps til 7.45am and yet weve been awake since 6am today.

So heres what happened.

7 45am wake up. Feed in bed (so i can leave him to get dressed etc) then up

9 15 - 10.15 ish nap usually 1 hour on me

12 30 ish nap usually longer but yesterday only half an hour.... (Usually 1 hour)

2.30 nap for 1.5 hours

7pm being put down to bed. Once asleep in next to me crib we watched tv in bed. He woke every 45mins....

Please tell me what I am doing wrong. Sometimes he has 4 naps if we need to squeeze one in before taking him up to bed (dependant on dinner and his naps etc)

We aim for 7-8pm bedtime each night.

Thanks!!

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NerrSnerr · 17/02/2018 06:56

You're not doing anything wrong, he's just being a baby and babies are buggers. Neither of mine have been good sleepers so we always kept them up until we went to bed until they were about 6 Months (they'd often dose on my lap). It'll get better in the end and they'll sleep for longer.

Afreshcuppateaplease · 17/02/2018 06:57

He is 4 months old

Its the way they work

Justanotherzombie · 17/02/2018 06:58

He's 4 months old. You're overthinking.

BertrandRussell · 17/02/2018 07:01

I hate to say this but at 4 months it's not routine-it's luck! Just try not to panic and see what happens today. At a risk of you hating me do try to doze when he sleeps......

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 07:04

Oh no thats good i am actually relieved. I thought the 3 hour stint before bed was the breaker...plus he usually has a good lunch nap and he woke. He was asleep on me and i didnt even move....wierd.

My god my nipples are broken.

Thanks!!

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Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 07:06

@NerrSnerr you mean they stayed with you downstairs or whatever til 6mo?

Quute frankly i am fed up with going to bed at 7.30pm lol

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TeddyIsaHe · 17/02/2018 07:07

You’re not doing anything wrong! Babies are just don’t get the memo when you want to put them into a routine till a lot later.

At that age Dd was still downstairs with me every night in a Moses basket/the pram cot thing so I could breastfeed/rock/cuddle/nappy chance etc without having to go upstairs every half an hour. And then came to bed with me when I went.

I would worry about a routine for another 3/4 months yet. You’re just going to stress yourself out if baby doesn’t follow it, andnin turn this will stress baby out who will refuse to sleep. Plus 4 months is when the first big sleep regression hits, so a routine now is pretty pointless. Babies are bloody difficult! It does get a lot better though, promise!

RemainOptimistic · 17/02/2018 07:08

Is there a particular reason you're not using a dummy to give your nippers a break?

Nothing is wrong, it's what 4mo do!

BertrandRussell · 17/02/2018 07:12

Yes, mine stayed down with us in the evening til they were about 6 months, I think. Then they came up to bed with me when I was ready.

Jaxtellerswife · 17/02/2018 07:24

There's a 4 month sleep regression.
Also maybe try downloading the wonder weeks app. It's never failed me with 2 children. It basically explains specifically when babies are going through a developmental leap in their beains and what to expect about their behaviour at the time and afterwards.

Buglife · 17/02/2018 07:37

Try a dummy! They aren’t the devil. And may solve the nipple chewing without feeding issue. I agree with everyone else, routine goes all over every month. Just make sure they have enough regular naps in the day. It was more like 6-7 months when we had clear nap and bed times emerging. I had to make sure mine slept after every 90 mins awake in the day or he’d be raging but nights followed their own pattern.

Gwynfluff · 17/02/2018 07:51

How many daytime feeds though?

I made sure my ebf babies fed at least 2 hourly in the day at that age and as much as I could get in them before bed.

I also made sure they were left in the darkened room with no other noise on. One of my babies would have slept with a tv on in the background, 2 of them definitely not.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 07:51

@Jaxtellerswife yeah i have that app. We are meant to be in a good spell Hmm. Hes been like this since Christmas day...pretty tired now!

Not keen on a dummy. We tried once and he wouldnt take it anyway. Neither will he take a bottle. We are trying to teach him to self settle but on nights like last night its utterly pointless as the boob is all he wants.

Based on that i reckon we stay downstairs for longer in the eve. My only bug bear being he will only sleep on me down there. Ah well small price to pay.

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chocolateorangeowls · 17/02/2018 07:53

I'd say try a dummy too. My LO had a dummy from 2 weeks old (and was breastfed.) She only has it for naps and at night but she sleeps through now ( 9 months) most of the time and if she wakes up she just puts her dummy back in and goes back to sleep now.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 07:54

@Gwynfluff he feeds every 2 but sometimes more!! Hes very much on demand....sometimes 30min/hour

I tried the EASY routine but it doesnt always work. The good thing is he no longer wants to bed fed to sleep in the day. He is shushed on my shoulder then naps on my chest.

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lightcola · 17/02/2018 07:54

I wouldn’t worry about routines until at least 6 months old and then he will more than likely move into one naturally.

chocolateorangeowls · 17/02/2018 07:55

I managed to trick her in to having the dummy by putting it in front of my nipple and holding her as if I was feeding. I found the Mam ones were best.

chocolateorangeowls · 17/02/2018 07:56

I also think there might be a sleep regression at about 4 Months. I have a memory of being up for weeks with a crying baby. Then I think there was meant to be another at 6 months but she skipped that one thankfully.

Passthecake30 · 17/02/2018 07:58

Mine also had a dummy, after wanting to use my boob as a dummy all night, every night, it was the only way.

Buglife · 17/02/2018 08:00

Honestly my DS didn’t do anything like self settling for nearly 2 years, and a lot of time and energy was wasted trying to achieve it. 4 months is too young to really self settle and anything (illness, sleep regression) will knock it out. A cuddle/feed then rock with dummy if feed hadn’t done it made DS sleep and he slept for longer stretches without the magical self settling. You’d think you’d cracked it and then he’d have a growth spurt or teething and he’d be back to going to sleep on your chest. My DS was about 3 months when we tried a dummy as he’d scream for about 20 mins in the buggy before he’d fall asleep. At 4 months I got a sling and realised his sleep was awesome as long as he was attached to me!

katand2kits · 17/02/2018 08:00

Four months is a hard time. It does get better. With my kids the "routine" didn't happen till 10+ months. Babies that age generally can't self settle. You can't teach a baby something they aren't developmentally able to learn.

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 08:02

OK thanks ladies. I've no doubt its the regression but didn't expect it to last so long. Advice on here and from the health visitor is to teach him to self settle which is what we are trying to do as gently as possible. It is often difficult to persevere at 3am Confused

Much appreciated

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flumpybear · 17/02/2018 08:03

I'd try a dummy again, you have to pop it back in their mouth and gently hold if they try to throw it out, once they settle with it you can stop holding it gently in - effectively he's using you as his dummy now

He may be starting to have his teeth moving too which makes them a bit more bite-y too get some abesol for teething in your cupboard

Buglife · 17/02/2018 08:05

God yeah at 3am bollocks to self settling shushing and patting just do whatever works fastest and you’ll all get much more sleep! Grin Flowers

Original poster
Jellybabie3 · 17/02/2018 08:16

@Buglife not sure it works in the long run but its alot damn easier putting him on the boob than shushing for sure!

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