17mo only sleeps in car/buggy, no.2 on the way

[Usernamqwerty]

Hi all,

I have posted here before and got lots of help and support, thanks so much.

My 17mo little man has been on one nap for a few months now. About a month ago, he stopped settling into his cot for naps. He will now only nap in the car or buggy (and has happily done so since birth).

From about 7 months, we started putting him in his cot for naps if we were at home (he still napped in buggy/car if we were out). We used to rock him to sleep on our laps. However this stopped working about a month ago. He just wouldn't settle on our laps and he was getting too long to be on me. If I put him in the cot he would just stand up. If I left the room, he would start crying. It got to the stage where I was spending half an hour a day crying my eyes out because he wouldn't nap... Hardly a relaxing environment!

So for the last month, I have done mostly car naps but a few buggy naps. Far less stressful and a happier Mummy as a result.

However, we are expecting our second baby in July (my son will be 22 months) and we are already panicking about how to manage my son's naps 😔. I can't keep driving around with him and a newborn, will be too shattered for the first few weeks to drive, it would be dangerous. I would also want to try and nap when the baby naps, so long walks are unlikely!

Sorry this is so long. Any ideas? My husband wants to try and get him settled in the cot again for naps but I don't think that will happen...

Thanks for getting this far!!

X

yes you really need to get him in his cot. also, you intend to nap when baby naps? whats your toddler going to be doing in that time?!?!?! my dd was 22 months when my ds was born. it was rare they napped at the same time and that was only the afternoon nap.

Thanks Doodle. Obviously only if I managed the holy grail of both napping at the same time, would I have one myself! 😉

I could have written this a year ago! My solution was to get into my bed with the toddler and nap together- it took a few tries of story/ song / quiet time/ tv programme before I found what worked, then explaining lie down close eyes etc - it worked well with a newborn as we would climb in together once baby was settled and have a snooze

Thanks Toomany, I haven't tried having him napping on a bed with me. Think I would be scared of him waking up before me and falling off the bed, but I could maybe look into bedrails. I have a mummy friend who's toddler naps on her bed!

I disagree that you need to get him into a cot. It's up to you, do what works for you. My eldest was the same and a similar age gap between him and dd, when I couldn't get him out in the buggy because I was too exhausted etc I would just rock him to sleep in the buggy at home. His inability to sleep for naps in the cot was a great motivator for me to take a daily walk from early on after dd's arrival so you can actually make it a positive thing. Could you try this as well, to rock him to sleep in the buggy at home?

I think your post was misread as well, I don't think you meant you would sleep for every nap your newborn takes it's perfectly normal and a good idea to try to nap in the day in the early days, and to try to time that with your dc's patterns.

My son is similar. The first few weeks I couldn't drive due to c-section so I tended to just not worry and found he fell asleep laying next to me on the sofa while I fed the baby, albeit two or three hours later than normal. If he didn't, well the evening was
a bit more stressful and he went to bed earlier was all. We muddled through. Sometimes laying down all of us in my bed worked.

Once I could drive I actually was happy to go back to car naps as baby often slept too and then I got a bit of a break. Make sure you have a book or a car charger for your phone

I took a breastfeeding pillow with me (any cushion would do) and then if the baby woke up while my older son was napping I could get him out of the seat and feed him in the front. Sometimes he would fall back to sleep on the cushion, sometimes not, but it helped having a surface for him, not just my lap.

'The baby' is now 7 months old and we still tend to do the same. It's all well and good to say they need to get in their cot but with DS1 it was such a battle. Napping in my bed was more likely but still difficult and it's easy to waste so much time and energy trying to make him nap, both of which were in short supply with a newborn.

Anyway sorry to go on, basically we continued to embrace car naps and it worked fine so if you don't manage to get him in the cot I don't think it'll be the end of the world. If you want to try though I think a clear, predictable routine so he knows it's nap time is key. It's something we were lacking that has worked wondered for bedtime (every detail the same every night) so could be good for naps too.

Thanks so much Octonauts and Jenala. Apologies for the late reply. I greatly appreciate you taking the time to reply.

Yes, I could try putting him in the buggy at home. I could also try sticking to the car nap, but only if it doesn't feel dangerous! X

I had a 21mo gap and DD was not an easy napper until very close to DS being born- you've got time!!

For me, I've always had a lunchtime nap with them. It's become part of DS's routine and other than the odd occasion, in 13mo they've napped at the same time every day. I'm not routine obsessed at all but lunchtime nap is sacred and now nothing interferes with that!

With DD we transitioned her into a single bed (never took to a cot) so I would nap there with her before DS was born. Once he was here, she very quickly took to being left for a nap in her bed whilst I took DS into our bed. It was also at this point that she started napping for 2 hours instead of 1.

I'd definitely try lying with him and see how you get on there. He could always have a pull out mat on the floor whilst baby naps with you if you're worried about them both being in with you.

I would skip the cot and get a floor bed. Settle him with cuddles or whatever works and then sneak off. Obviously room needs to be baby proofed. People try far too hard with cots I think - I personally wouldn’t want to be surrounded by bars

Can he not nap in the pram in your house? Thats what i do with my almost 16 month old

My DD is two now and will also only nap in the buggy and the car!!! I've tried various things but she and I got so stressed out by it and nothing worked (or if it worked it didn't work for long!) and I could never be routined enough (she naps like a dream at nursery three days a week so clearly routine does work for her, just not me! ).
She will be 2.5 when the next baby arrives and I've resigned myself to the fact that she may just stop napping then... I will try quiet time and lying on the bed etc and see if anything works but I don't feel too hopeful!

Apologies for the late reply. Thank you all so much for replying. There's some good ideas on here and we'll be seeing how it goes! Xx