Am I doing it all wrong?

[redjoker]

My first child is coming up to 4 months old. Up until now he's been pretty good. He is bottle fed, takes 7 oz ish per feed and once asleep (around 9pm) he sleep until 2am, sleep feeds and feeds again at 6am. Increasingly in the day and from around 6pm until 9pm he is getting really worked up. This started as whinging but is progressing into crying if I can't get him to sleep fast enough. This was bareable but my partner is back to work today (home weekends only) and I'm sitting here wondering how the bloody hell I'm going to get through the week. More and more in the day he's becoming over tired and working himself up. I feed him when he's hungry and put him to sleep if he's tired. But in the day there's no routine, it's all so hit and miss and k feel like I'm failing. Is all this unsettled behaviour my fault? I'm trying to bath him, change him and feed him at 6.30pm every night to get him to know it's bed time but honestly I'm just feeling like I'm totally winging this and getting it all wrong. Is he too young for a routine? How can I get him to sleep easier and avoid this over tired screaming?

I have literally just posted almost the same post about trouble I'm having with my little girl who is also 4 months! So I'm afraid I have no advice just letting you know your not alone ha!

We have a routine with our girl but can't stick to exact times as all depends on what time she wants her bottles during the day really but stick to the same routines. In the day I feed play and sleep (hit and miss as sometimes she won't do in that order!) then night bath, massage, bottle and bed.

But this unsettledness at night is becoming worse like she knows what is happening and she doesn't like it!

I did a routine from a month; he’s 7 months now and I could tell you to the time what time he naps every day...he loves the consistency. I started with working out maximum wake times; he was always sensitive to being tired so went for the lower end then planned day. For example at 4 months I think 90 minutes was the max he could stay awake so we got into a schedule using that as a benchmark. However 4 months is the dreaded regression! Although it did send sleep backwards for us it recovered quickly and I think that was due to the routine he was used to.

@beckyyyy what time do you start the bath bed thing? 6.30 here but only on day 2 so really feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I can cope with him being unsettled it's just the screaming. In the day he has quite a long 3 hour nap in the morning and then feeds and sleeps for 30 to 40 min ish. He's just woke from a 4 hour sleep as had got over tired and knackered himself. I try and track every feed and sleep and try and get him back sleeping after no more than an hour (eye rubbing and yawning etc) but sometimes he fights so hard it takes hours then it's bottle time again and he's so worked up he won't feed. People keep saying colic but I don't think it's that. Teething did Cross my mind but I think I'm clutching at straws!

If he doesn't sleep well during the day maybe an early bedtime would be better? My 8 month old has only ever napped for 30 minutes at a time but her bedtime is 6ish and has slept through or has one night feed. I've tried moving her bedtime back but she just wakes up at the same time in the morning and is grumpy!

We started doing bath and bed routine at around 3/4 months - mainly because it helped me rather than her! Now she's 8 months she understands the routine that we do so I think it hasn't done any harm starting it early.

Around the same time usually but all depends on what time her last nap was! I find it hard to stick to exact times as it all come down to when she feeds and has naps during the day! (I have no idea how people do these things down to the near exact same time every day as mine seems to be all over the place time wise!)

She's had her usual day routine with naps bottles etc but she seemed so tired at 5 I started the bed routine! She was bathed fed and down and is still asleep at the moment! Had some screaming so lots of cuddles and she's sound asleep in her cot! She will wake around 9 usually for another bottle. I'm maybe now thinking I need to bring her bedtime forward.

Thanks all. Nice to know I'm not alone. I bathed him at 6.30 he had 9 oz so quite a bit more than normal and after some rocking etc he's drifted off (sitting on bedroom floor watching him and praying!) Hoping I can do a bottle and dream feed him about 10 ish. I don't know how anyone sticks to exact times. My SIL feeds her baby on the dot of the hour 10,6,2. My DS just is no where near ready for that. I have found the last few days tho that he will only fall asleep with a muslin covering his face. I remove once he's asleep of course. Anyone else find This? Yes maybe sleepy time needs to be earlier. I may move bath time depending on his nap times to.orrow. if he's napping should I wake him to instal the routine?!

He's letting you know that he wants to go to bed. From 6pm like clockwork, both of mine were very unhappy indeed unless I was bathing and putting them to bed.

I even remember Dd2 furiously crying while I fed her because bedtime wasn't happening early enough for her liking.

My routine was
5:50 start to run bath
6:00 ish put baby in bath
6:20 get in bedtime nappy and babygrow
Start bedtime bottle around 6:30 then have baby tucked into their cot between 6:45/7:00.

Dream feed between 10pm/midnight.

This would usually see mine til 5am and later until 7am.

I hope that helps.

That does help thank you. Things have been all happening later with daddy home for three weeks on leave. I'm happy to start thinking about bedtime etc about 5/6 but had lots of guests over xmas and tho k you are right. He's just so ready for bed bless him. I will try and start it all earlier tomorrow but seems to have worked so far tonight... here's hoping me being on my own means I can start getting the bed time ball rolling and avoid a meltdown.

Sounds like the start of the 4 month sleep regression where their sleep changes from newbornzonk to actually actively falling asleep

I've heard this 4 month sleep thing a bit. Does anyone know much more about it?

search here for 4 month sleep regression (or google)

Baby napping on me so can't really explain further one handed

Been doing the 6.30 bath time a few nights now. He enjoys the bath. Feeds ok but is still awake and fighting it. I've upped the feed but doesn't work. I started at 7pm tonight and have had to resort to pushing him over and over in his buggy and he's only just gone. Why does he fight it so hard! God give me strength he will wake for his next feed soon no doubt

Both of mine needed to cry themselves to sleep a bit. Pop the mobile on and usually by the time it had finished, they'd stopped crying and were on the way to sleep.

Also consider the timings of feeds. Through trial error, I found dd2 needed a bottle two hours before her bedtime bottle to feel settled.

I hope you are getting support and time to rest. It passes, it does. My two are now nearly 9 and 4, it's gone so quickly.

Just get through each day being as kind to yourself as you can.

I'm conscious that others may read this thread in the same situation. So to update: I began to become extremely uptight about this routine. And was spending hours after his bath rocking, shushing and driving myself mad. Now I just play until he's ratty, about an hour, feed, and let him self settle. We repeat this all day and he does this after his bath and rewakes. Before this would send me into meltdown. Now I just repeat again, play, bum change, bottle and he drifts off about 9pm. He's even got down to one feed a night and gets up about 8am. I was pressuring him into a 7pm after bath bed time and he just wasnt ready/tired enough. Everyday is a bloody school day!!!