6 month old. Doesn't sleep.

[alittlehelp]

My 6mo is a ridiculously light sleeper. He moves a lot in his sleep and wakes himself up every time. Swaddling made a small difference but he's too big for it now. He sleeps in my bed and I bf back to sleep each time.

I've been trying to settle him to sleep since 6.30pm. he wakes every half hour or so until I go to bed and then hourly after that. All night. He'll only nap in the daytime on my lap with me bfing every time he stirs.

I'm at my wit's end. I've self harmed in frustration. I have no idea how I will cope with working when I finish mat leave. I'm not safe to drive.

Any ideas? Anyone had similar? Anything with leaving him to cry is no go, I just can't. Any other advice much appreciated. Sorry if I don't reply quickly, think he's asleep so going to get some too while I can!

I should say we are only co-sleeping because he wouldn't sleep in the cot at all. Not my preference!

🙁💐 goodness. No massively helpful suggestions, and clearly you will have tried everything...but soothing without feeding is going to be crucial - the nursery staff used to stroke their cheeks? We once resorted to the vacuum cleaner noise trick with dd (better white noise apps available now). Sleeping bag? Actually she settled better when we did eventually leave her to cry - its like us being there was too stimulating for her. We had one of those soothing ‘lights and noises’ cot toy things which sang a lullaby, v useful.

He will improve as he gets older - promise. DS2 is a light sleeper and has gone from only napping in my arms to having 1.5 hour sleeps in the cot. Getting him to sleep is a challenge (and another thread) but he sleeps once he's settled. Ten months was the turning point for us. Until then he was waking every 1-2 hours most nights. Last night he slept for 8 hours. Bf here too, no sleep 'training' and certainly no leaving him to cry alone.

Bless you, have you spoken to somebody about the self harming? Night waking for babies is really hard but also normal. They go through phases of recurring wake ups. At 6 months mine was the same and now at 11 months she goes to sleep at about 7, wakes at 1, then 5, then 7, which is amazing and I never thought we’d get here. I know it’s so so hard but what your little one is doing is totally normal. Can you side car a cot so you are still cosleeping but can get more rest? We also play rain white noise all night which more than anything muffles our the fidgeting! It will get better xx

Thanks guys. It's helpful to hear it's normal because I suppose I feel in some way it's my fault for not trying to get him to settle in other ways - he's had weight issues so I've always just fed as I want to get as much milk in as possible.

The side-car cot was the one he rejected. We've got white noise going all night and he's in a sleeping bag. I've tried some of the no-cry sleep solution type things (putting down when sleepy but not unconscious type things, removing from breast before fully asleep) and it either doesn't work at all or he'll only sleep for a few mins before waking again. He also always needs me to settle him and just screams usually if my husband tries. Exhausting!

I might try him in a bigger cot bed - I think he kept waking in the small cot as he flaps his arms around a lot and kept hitting the sides.

My baby has reflux and for a long time was waking every 40 mins, so I know your pain. I had to do a bit of tough love and put her in her own cot with some sleep reassurance techniques, to break the cycle. But growth spurts and teething do cause problems still. Weaning has helped as it's removed hunger from being a problem, as did moving to a prescription formula instead of breast feeding. I have also used a dummy and white noise to help settle in the middle of the night. I found Alison Scott Wright's book the best at helping me get through this. If you haven't read it, then I really do recommend it. Also are you sure your baby doesn't have a milk allergy or silent reflux? Something to consider if your baby has struggled with gaining weight. Also lots of fresh air and exercise is really important to help stimulate and tire your little one out. Then following the same sleep routine during the day and at bed time will eventually help your baby to understand when he should and shouldn't be awake! Stick with it, you'll get there. Everything is a phase and they do grow out of it!

Putting down sleepy but awake is a mystical and near impossible thing in my opinion. It didn't work with my eldest and I haven't even bothered with my youngest. Just do whatever you need to for now. It will work itself out.

Thanks for the tips. I'll have a look for that book. He's had meds for reflux but that didn't help so gp doesn't think it's that, and also doesn't think it's cmpa. Maybe it will improve with time/weaning etc. Fingers crossed!