Controlled Crying with Toddler

[RainyDayBear]

For various reasons (nighttime hell, partner exhibiting signs of stress, the fact that we’re both struggling at work and I’m pregnant and due in February) we are at the end of a very long road with our 22-month-old. She’s always been a poor sleeper and we’ve tried everything and always taken a gentle led by her approach, but we are at a stage where this can’t go on any longer. Our main issue is her waking up for hours in the night.

All the articles I’m reading for controlled crying seem to be aimed at parents of babies, not toddlers who stand at the end of the cot and scream for you. Any practical advice for tackling it with a toddler?

Please, no criticism, I know it’s for everyone but it’s not a decision we’ve made lightly and I feel shit enough as it is!

Can you afford a sleep consultant?
Otherwise, CC is not great for toddlers for the reasons you’ve given. Gradual retreat is more appropriate

Yes, but we’re saving for maternity leave and our wedding at the moment, so a sleep consultant is our ‘if everything else fails’ backup plan.

Would she look at books, play with a toy, watch a lights mobile etc for five min while you get / do something and then you just gradually increase the time? Tbh by this age we were quite strict about no screaming down to us so I'd would have done cc (with an explanation that I need to work) if it was needed.

No, she will just throw any toys out of the cot and scream! She does have a turtle that projects stars on the ceiling but it doesn’t really hold her interest, we’ve tried a few times to introduce it.

Sounds as though everything else has already failed, OP?

I would use the money and book a really good sleep consultant so it’s sorted in a week.

Sleep > fancy flowers at the wedding

Id just do it then, tell her you need to go and do X and she isn't to scream for you. You will come back as soon as you can.
We've only a 16 month gap and our eldest learnt not to shout by about 18 months, think dc2 was a little older. We were just strict about it and kept explaining so not far from cc really.

RainyDayBear, away from the sleep issue, what is her behaviour like generally? Will she follow instructions? Does she accept when you tell her "no" or apply boundaries of expectations on her behaviour. How does she react if she does something unacceptable (hitting, not sharing etc) and you tell her off?