3 week old

[JaffaJaffaJaffa]

So we had the 2-3 week growth spurt and thought things were getting back to normal (in the sense that he wouldn't be feeding every 2hrs and might sleep a little longer - prior to the growth spurt he was sleeping for between 3 and 4 hours a time with 2hrs awake time in between) and yesterday was fantastic, almost back to that. However, today he won't sleep for longer than half an hour in his moses basket and I've no idea why? He sleeps longer when he's on mine or my husbands chest but I don't want to get him into the habit of only sleeping on us - other days he's been perfectly happy in his moses basket, what gives? He's not over stimulated, we've had no visitors today, he's doing plenty of wet and dirty nappies, he's had some awake time, he feeds for about 15-20 minutes on each boob each time.. My husband goes back to work next week and I'm worried I will be on my own, how am I going to be able to cope/sleep/do anything if he is like this?

I’m no expert but my DD is nearly 6 weeks and just to say that her patterns and behaviour change nearly every day at this stage, sometimes we get a ‘routine’ for a few days and then she changes.

When they are this small it’s normal.

Just persevere and get a good sling if you haven’t got one already!

I'm trying to express so that my husband can do one feed I the evening when he gets home from work so I can sleep, but there's no time between feeds and sleeping to express anything - today he just seems so unsatisfied, it's breaking my heart :'-(

Your baby is only 3 weeks old! That is so very very tiny. Just try to take each day at a time. Don’t worry about ‘spoiling’ them by holding them. It is impossible to ‘spoil’ such a tiny baby. Give them the comfort they are craving. We had a Close Caboo among which is like a soft pre ties wrap type one which is very snuggly for newborns but gives you two free hands.

And to be honest if your baby is ebf and only feeding every 2 hrs at 3 weeks old then that is fairly good. Take it easy :)

I'm trying to express so that my husband can do one feed I the evening when he gets home from work so I can sleep, but there's no time between feeds and sleeping to express anything - today he just seems so unsatisfied, it's breaking my heart :'-(

Sounds totally normal for a newborn. As already suggested, they constantly change their patterns. He’s still so little it’s probably just that he wants to be close to you. I second the sling as well, they are lifesavers in the early days!

I’d just role with it, I wouldn’t worry about setting up bad habits at only 3 weeks old. I used to co sleep for naps in the early days as my DS would only be held during the day for sleeps. Have a google of the 4th trimester!

Best advice is just to take each day at a time, you’ll find your way.

And also, my EBF DS fed 2 hourly untill 3 months, then began to stretch it out. Frequent feeding is common in first 8 weeks while establishing your supply!

So I'm being unrealistic to think that after drifting off on me to the point of twitching (i.e 20-30 mins} that he should be able to sleep longer than 20-30 mins in his basket? When he'd happily sleep on one of us for hours?

I just feel like he's not getting enough sleep and I'm definitely not, and am I producing enough milk for him if he's feeding every 1 1/2-2hrs?

I know he's still only little bit I am just starting to feel like I'm not enough for him and am basically feeling like a shit mother already. It's easy to see why so many people give up breastfeeding or feel down/worthless.

The waking up when being put down even when he would continue sleeping on you is very normal, annoying but very common. I found this improved with perseverance (eventually if I keep putting her down it will ‘stick’) and swaddling

Those are both totally normal at 3 weeks

You'll know if you're producing enough milk by his weight gain - if he stays roughly in the same percentile in your red book then you're good. His feeding more frequently could just be for comfort or to build up your supply as his appetite naturally increases.

You will be tired, so very tired for quite some time yet. And there won't be a reliable routine for quite some time yet either.

He's spent the last 9 months in your womb where it's warm and cosy. He's used to being close, to hearing your heartbeat and so it's a big change to go from that to being alone in a basket. Things like swaddling and white noise might help. If you can feed lying down that's good because then when he falls asleep you can fall asleep next to him and hopefully he'll sleep longer next to you. But yes as everyone else said it's very normal, you're not doing anything wrong and just get through each day as it comes. With the expressing I know some people struggle to express, I think the recommendation is not to express until 6 weeks anyway so it doesn't mess with your supply so I don't know if once your supple is established it might be easier. I heard of these breast milk collection pumps that you can use at the same time as feeding so that might help if you can't find the time.

Completely normal. My babies fed every 1.5-2 hrs daytime and 2-3 hrs at night until about 4 months old. Actually until they were weaned on solida they were feeding at least 2 hourly during the day. Youngest didn’t sleep during the day for longer than 20 mins at a time until he was 6 months old. If you feel your baby needs to sleep then walk, drive etc. Whatever it takes. Sleep is the priority!

Agree. Both totally normal at 3 weeks. Have you heard of the fourth trimester? If you haven't, it's worth a read :) it isn't easy, but rest assured it is very normal and it will pass. Even if you let them sleep on you constantly etc you will be able to 'break' that habit when they are good and ready. But if you try and do it before they are ready then it really is hard work.

Totally normal. 3 weeks was the toughest time for me personally. DS wanted to be on me constantly feeding every 1-2 hours and comfort sucking in between. I felt awful with sleep deprivation. DH did give him a couple of bottles of formula here and there so I could sleep - I had no time or energy to express. He is now ebf at 5 months. You will get through it! Also, sleep patterns will change all the time - my 5 month old was going 5-6 hours at night and now won't go more than 3! They are very unpredictable so don't assume you are in a routine with anything!

Totally normal and I wholeheartedly recommend looking into safe cosleeping. Your baby just wants to be close to you and in my experience as soon as I accepted that I really began to enjoy her and enjoy the closeness xxx

He will be getting plenty! He’s just establishing your supply and frequent feeding is the way to do it. It’s not unusual for BF babies to cluster feed for hours in the evenings with little breaks in between.

How you’re feeling is totally normal too! There’s all sorts of hormones floating about after having a baby, along with the ones that come with BF. This along with the sleep deprivation can leave you feeling emotional.

BF is hard work, I remember feeling that no one had warned me just how hard it is. But, it’s still such early days for you and I promise you it gets easier.

Be kind to yourself and enjoy the newborn cuddles

However, today he won't sleep for longer than half an hour in his moses basket and I've no idea why? He sleeps longer when he's on mine or my husbands chest but I don't want to get him into the habit of only sleeping on us

Google the 4th trimester. Your baby should still be inside you, being snuggled tightly and hearing your heartbeat. See now why he sleeps so well on you?

Newborns can’t form habits - just do what you can to get through the day!

I also found that once I accepted that what we were going through/the struggle was normal, it became easier to accept and manage. Unfortunately some babies want lots of food and lots of cuddles. It will get better but roll with it for now. You’re doing great!

Unfortunately some babies want lots of food and lots of cuddles

Nothing unfortunate about that! It’s a lovely problem to have!

It is a lovely problem but when it’s causing mum distress (as it appears to be doing so for OP) it is somewhat unfortunate

This is normal.
Press on day by Day and by looking back in 7 days and then in another 7 days you will see gradual change. Congratulations, stop complicating life by expressing .... you are doing well

It is a lovely problem but when it’s causing mum distress (as it appears to be doing so for OP) it is somewhat unfortunate

Thing is though, it’s totally normal so it’s best to lower expectations and have realistic ideas of what babies are like in order to stop feeling distressed

Do you swaddle him for Moses basket sleeps, and have you tried white noise? We used the ‘womb noise’ track on the Sound Sleeper app and that helped sometimes.

Newborn. Completely normal he'd want to sleep on you. Don't fret too much and enjoy the cuddles.

@crazycatlady5 yep, which I what I said in my post