Cry it out at 9 weeks

[Lovingtyrells]

Hi all,

I have a baby who will not sleep on his back at all, since birth I have tried day and night using side cot, sleepy head, 4 different types of swaddle , dummy, bouncing chair and nothing works. He sleeps fine on chest, car seat or being held. Has bad wind and reflux which is contributing but also whenever I put him down and he is settled he is wide awake after 60 seconds and then it takes me an hour and a half to re settle.

He ends up being over tierd and when I tried not to hold etc for 2 weeks during the day he was fussy non stop as had no decent sleep.

He has never slept more than 2 hours since birth either and is mostly 45min/1hr.

2 weeks ago the health visitor came and told me to do cry it out and go back every 15mins. Has anyone done this at this age? What is the reccomended age ?

Oh god no. I actually did do controlled crying but the absolute minimum age for this is 6 months.

And "cry it out" (which is not the same thing as controlled crying) isn't recommended at all any more.

I know it's really hard but honestly a lot of what you have described is normal and it will get better . Have you tried raising his cot so he's sleeping on an incline?

PS what your HV has recommended there is controlled crying and not cry it out.

She's still wrong though!

Bloody hell no! Not at nine weeks! What you describe is normal newborn sleep. You just need to ride it out.

Do it cry it out on a young baby in pain with reflux , no, that's shocking advice!

No no nope no no nooooo nope no

Just no

Please nooo

Woah I felt bad leaving my 9 month old to cry for 1 minute then go in as she wasn't sleeping!

9 weeks is so early to leave him crying for 15 mins

How about a sling/carrier?

Lift one side of his cot up so his head is slightly elevated. Cry it out or controlled crying is for much older babies.

Not at 9w! And certainly not when the cause is reflux and wind.

Poor little lovey, leaving him to cry will not take away the pain from reflux. Poor you as well, it is really really tough to have a job-sleeper.

I know you feel like you've tried everything, but...

Everything you mentioned so far is to do with positioning. How are you feeding him and is he on any medication?

With the dummy, did he appear to spit it out? Many babies cannot manage to hold a dummy in their mouths in the first weeks/months. It looks like they're spitting it out, but in fact this is the natural pushing action of their tongue while suckling.

A job-sleeper? thank you auto-correct I meant a non-sleeper, of course.

Oh please no. 9 weeks is too young for that. Please go back to the gp if you think your baby needs more help.

I sympathise, my ds had awful reflux, except no one told me what it was. He slept in his car seat for a month as it was the only place he would sleep (this was nine years ago and back then no one said to not do it). Your baby needs to be tilted a bit when he sleeps.

No, please don't do this to a 9 week old baby! No, no, just no.

You have so much sympathy from me... neither of my dc slept through until well over 1... but it is far too early. We did controlled crying with dc1 and while it worked I regret it as it was brutal. With dc2 we did hands on settling with dh staying wth him while he cried and tried to resettle when we night weaned (at 18 months). Do whatever you need to survive this bit but please don't make your baby cry it out

Omfg that HV needs a new job.

Worth trying raising one end of where your baby sleeps, but it can be tricky to do so safely.

Does cosleeping, with the baby on his back, work? If so, that - with careful attention to safety, eg no covers that can end up over him - would be my next try.

No, a paediatrician told me that until 12 weeks babies do not know the difference between day and night so just go with what he needs don't leave the poor child to cry it out. Maybe get his dad or a friend to take him out in his buggy/a sling for a bit while you sleep for a few hours, if he has a bottle during this time it's probably no bad thing. Also I consulted a seep consultant and they usually on take them on after six months, and she said in the early days the key thing can be learning to interpret what your babies different cries mean. Good luck OP and hope you get some sleep.

I know people on MN hate this advice but I always found if I let when my baby slept it helped.

I’m a strong advocate of sleep training but at 9 months not 9 weeks. Babies that young are not generally in any sort of routine and might need hourly feeds still.
It sounds like you are quite anxious and tired too which won’t help baby settle. Try and relax, rocking and lullabies might sooth you both. If he’ll only sleep on his front you might have to let him. The risks are statistically very low and until quite recently the DoH advice was for tummy sleeping.

Good lord, I can’t believe your HV would advise that for s baby so young and who’s crying because they’re in pain. And even if you did CC, 15 minutes is a huuuuge amount of time!

Definitely try tilting his cot. You can either prop two legs up on something or stick stuff under the mattress. Is he on any medication?

We had a reflux baby. He appears to have outgrown it now (4 months) and sleeps 7-7 with only one waking for a feed around 2am so hang in there!

Things which helped us:

• raising bed and pram so he was on an incline

• using sling on bouncy chair/ car seat for daily naps (not ideal but you do what works)

• treating the reflux with gaviscon (if you’re breastfeeding I’d push for ranitidine, gaviscon mucked up my breastfeeding and DS ended up exclusively on bottles as I couldn’t get the administering right. Only heard about ranitidine when it was too late)

• giving infacol before each night feed (helps get the wind up) and holding him upright for 15 minutes after each feed. Hard when you’re exhausted, I know.

We didn’t ever leave him to cry as the poor thing was just so uncomfortable. I would advise staying on top of his naps as DS used to get very overtired which exasperated symptoms. Watch for sleep cues like a hawk (rubbing eyes, yawning, jerky or frantic limb movements etc) then try and get baby Orr to sleep.

I feel for you, it’s not at all easy. Your HV doesn’t sound great either. Fx it resolves naturally soon.

Sling or* bouncy chair or car seat for naps!

Read up on the fourth trimester and adjust your expectations. Your baby should still be inside you, not being left to cry.

I’d want that HV retrained.

Have you tried with him sleeping on his front, with or without an incline? It's not recommended, but I have two friends that found this really helped.

Keep trying with the dummy

Ffs no.

No your baby is crying because they’re in pain DS has awful reflux and we ended up letting him sleep on his tummy I know it’s not recommended but I was at breaking point he started sleeping better straight away and we were all a lot happier

I recommend the book “sensational baby sleep plan” by Alison Scott Wright which has excellent advice for babies with reflux. Best of luck.