Awake but drowsy

[Meepmoop]

Hello,

My DS is 13 weeks and at the moment I'm rocking him to sleep or feeding to sleep both for naps and at nighttime.

I've read that I need to teach him to self settle especially as the last few days he is waking every 2 hours instead of his usual 5/6 hours.

How do I do this as at the moment he will cry as soon as he is put down.

When he wakes in the night he falls asleep when feeding so can be put down straight away.

I don't want to cosleep as my partner is a very heavy sleeper and also DS will cry if I lie him down in my bed anyway.

Thank you

Does baby have a dummy? They are a great way to achieve independant sleeping without crying.

If not, I think that any method to get baby to go to sleep in the cot will involve some degree of crying. You would be there with baby and comforting baby in the cot, so it's not like baby wild just be left to cry. But without a dummy, you need to consider your tolerance for crying in getting independant sleep.

He doesn't have a dummy and when I've tried he refused them.

How would I go about it with the crying method. Do I just let him cry but have my hand on his chest?
When he is crying is there a level of crying that I should pick him up at I.e tears going bright red or should I just persevere.

In the day time he sleeps in a bouncy chair, should I keep bouncing the chair?

Thank you

I would keep daytime naps in the bouncer, at least until naps extend and are eehularly over an hour. In the mean time, you could work on in-cot settling at night so that once naps do extend, you have an established in-cot settling method to use for daytime naps.

As for a way to get baby going to sleep in the cot, how about a sidecar cot? This just means removing one side off a normal cot and wedding it to your bed. It means you can cuddle into the cot to help baby feel comforted going to sleep in there.

I started doing that, and moved from in-cot cuddles to hand on chest thing and cuddles only if unsettled. Then just lying next to cot and hand on chest if unsettled only. Only then did I put the side back on the cot.

He’s tiny, soft leave him to cry. I think rocking and feeding to sleep at this age is normal

Could you try the dummy again? It took trying three brands for me until DD took the MAM ones. I had to really persist over a few weeks before she'd take one. It's honestly been a game changer for getting her to go to sleep both in her cot and out in the buggy.

Regarding crying, I can tell if my baby is just "shouting" crying or crying because she's upset. She sometimes "shouts" when settling for a nap as she's tired. This is where the dummy comes in to soothe her. If baby is red faced and there's tears I would pick up to comfort.

Re the bouncy chair, you can stop bouncing when baby is asleep but if they start to stir, gently start up again and they might go back to sleep. That's what I used to do anyway.

I'd also give DD a knotted muslin to twiddle with as her hands used to be flapping all over. I'd remove it once she was asleep as SIDS guidelines say nothing with them in the cot etc at this age.

You don’t NEED to teach him to self settle, especially at this age please don’t worry, there’s a reason why what you’re doing works so well. If you actively want to change it for other reasons that’s fine but don’t do it because you’re worried he’ll never learn x

I agree, there’s no need to force baby to self settle. It’s amazing how quickly they grow and do start sleeping!