6 month old getting worse

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My baby just will not sleep in his cot. He has gone from being pretty decent (bf to sleep by 2130, waking once or twice usually at around 0400 and then progressively more as the night went on -this was FINE) but now he gets put down for bed by about 2000 and is usually awake at least once in the first hour and then on until i give up and keep him in my bed. i feel totally stuck. i don’t mind feeding him to sleep but i know he’s not bloody hungry as he only came off 20 mins ago! I am beyond frustrated. interestingly his daytime naps have gotten better (but there is no rhyme or reason to them) in the last couple of weeks but night sleep has been deteriorating for a while before that.

I have never, ever had any success getting him to sleep with any method other than BF. i’ve tried all rocking, ssshing, patting, white noise, singing, not singing. he falls asleep in the carrier/buggy after about 40 mins sometimes and mostly screams blue murder in the car which is another post for another day. i can’t get him to have anything other than a cursory suck on a dummy.

we have started weaning he’s having ~2 bites to eat per day one at about 6pm. then we do bath and booby starts about 7 aiming to drop him off into crib by 8pm.

he’s currently lying on my bed having rolled over onto his tummy. merrily flapping his little limbs and having a farting and blowing raspberries competition with himself whilst mummy’s bath goes cold I’m at my wits end! and my DP works away 6/7 nights a week so unfortunately I can’t make him do his fair share!!

The problem with feeding to sleep is that for good sleep habits baby needs to stay asleep where they go to sleep.

So when feeding, baby is snuggled close to your chest and physically touching you. This is why feeding to sleep and cosleeping go together. Baby drifting off to sleep in your bed at the breast is likely to sleep better if they stay there all night. Exactly as you found, so not using the cot.

If you want baby sleeping independantly in the cot, baby needs to go from awake to asleep in the cot. Without an established dummy, that is going to involve crying. Lots of crying, so don't kid yourself otherwise.

If you want an independant sleeper (ie in the cot) you need as independant settling method and that means not feeding to sleep.

There are lots of ways to establish in-cot settling. They don't need tp mean you leaving baby to cry, I would stay there comforting if it was me. But it will involve some crying. A huge focus on the dummy, although it might be too late to establish, may help reduce the crying. The key though is consistancy. Pick a method and stick with it at all times, for as long as it takes, for at least a couple of weeks.

thank you @FATEdestiny for your reply. the difficulty I’m having with settling him in his cot whilst he’s awake is that he just gets so worked up. first his eyes open. then he starts to protest and more and more until he’s screaming. nothing seems to calm him down. how long should i keep trying eg with my hand on his chest singing zoom zoom zoom... if he’s hysterical is he actually going to be able to go to sleep?

if he’s hysterical is he actually going to be able to go to sleep?

He will eventually, yes. I don't mean to be flippant, but he will not scream at a hysterical level forever more and never go to sleep. The crying will end, but it might take a long time at first and will be very distressing for both of you (note I said "will", not "might"). If you are going to do this, you need to set your expectations realistically.

I'm not one for listening to baby crying, so if you want my personal thoughts on what I'd do? I would remove one side off the full sized cot and wedge it up to my bed, removing furniture from my room to fit it in if needs be.

I'd then feed baby lying down and do a "scooting" movement to slide baby over into the cot. Scooting means kneeling side on to baby, both arms flat on bed under baby and sort of slide baby across the mattress on my firearms into the cot, without lifting.

This will disturb baby and probably baby will cry. I'd then snuggle close in the sidecar cot, head next to baby's head. Face close to baby so he can hear and feel my breathing. One arm encircling baby and the other holding/tapping dummy in baby's mouth to encourage comfort sucking.

Stay there cuddling close until fully asleep, then extract myself to my bed. Over time I would gradually reduce the level of reassurance needed.

They’re all different and I have found anything other than feeding my little one to sleep upsets her a lot so don’t stop feeding to sleep if it works for your little one. Can you feed to sleep lying down and sneak off? The set up I have is a cot next to my bed with the side off - I feed to sleep on my bed, sneak off for a couple of hours to have and evening then when I go to bed I shift her into her cot. At this point she’s in a very deep sleep so doesn’t wake x

Oh and I have a video monitor that I have on in case she starts rolling about x

@crazycatlady5 @FATEdestiny

Can I ask which full sized cots you have pushed up to your bed? Not sure if any will do or if there are specific ones that work better than others .

LazyDaisy6 I think most flat pack cots do this. The one-piece very expensive cots may not. It needs to be one with adjustable mattress heights (so the cot mattress can match the height of your bed mattress).

The screws that hold a flat pack cot together go through the short 'end pieces' at the head and foot of the cot. Well, every cot I've come across does. This means you can just unscrew one side and take it off.

I've owned and had as a sidecar cot:

• a cotbed from Mothercare
• a full sized cot (not cotbed) from Babies R Us
• a dropside cotbed from John Lewis

I have the mokee mini cot xx

It’s cheap, comes in beautiful colours and transforms into a toddler bed x

No advice OP but I've got a screamer too and it's killing me. I HATE hearing her screaming but I'm at my wits end. She hates dummies (god knows I've tried!) She sucks her fingers but only when she's calm enough to get them near her face.

No amount of soothing her in the cot helps. Seriously I've sat next to the cot for hours shushing and singing and keeping a hand on her to no avail. (She's too wiggly now anyway).

Feels like my only option is CIO now but she's 7 months and I don't want to do that. But sitting here as she screams her lungs out sure ain't doing much to soothe her either and all it's doing is driving me up the wall, round the bend and out of my mind!

Good luck - if you find anything which works, please let us all know!

I could have written this post myself - my sympathies OP. I do the same as crazycatlady does but eventually she ends up in bed with me as DD keeps waking in the night and I'm too tired to do anything but feed her to sleep. I don't have a solution either as similar to all others above, she will not take a dummy. I'm knackered these days as she keeps waking and she's restless in bed and DH can't help as she won't settle with him. Anyway what was my point again? Yes, my sympathies are with you. Keep trying I guess and remember that nothing lasts forever so this too shall pass.

@FatRedCrayon is there no way you can cosleep? CIO is brutal