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Original poster

Gradual withdrawl method - help needed

114 replies

lori21 · 09/04/2007 20:33

We are doing the GW method as described by the Millpond Clinic. We've done the rocking to sleep and are now on the holding to sleep. The next one is the 'holding in cot' to sleep. I'm a bit sonfused about how to do this. I may be being a little thick as I am rather sleep deprived. If anyone else has done it please give me some tips

Thanks

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SenoraPostrophe · 09/04/2007 20:36

ooo this is what we did with ds2, but I didn't realise it was a method!

anyway hold in cot would be literally that - stand over the cot with one hand under baby's head but resting on cot sheet and other hand either on his chest or under it. (presumably they mean under - so you could lift baby out easily iyswim. but I found a hand on the chest was more effective)

you've got past the wrst bit now - it get's easier from here!

Original poster
lori21 · 09/04/2007 20:40

Thanks for that - you sound very positive about it - how long did it take? Does your lo sleep through the night? Tell me more.....

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SenoraPostrophe · 09/04/2007 20:45

erm, not as such (sleeping throuhg night) but that's partly because I haven't yet had the energy to stop feeding entirely (I tend to feed at 4am in bed and I fall asleep with him). plus he's been ill....

But he does settle himself ok, which is the biggest step (at ,least, it was the biggest step with ds1). from "hgolding in cot" it only took a week I think. now I literally just sing to him, put him down and go (ok, I might do a couple of shushes from the landing).

zakismum · 10/04/2007 21:20

Lori- How's it going? I'm intrigued to know how things have been over the last few nights? BTW how old if your LO?

Original poster
lori21 · 11/04/2007 19:46

Well we are now on to 3 hourly feeds (instead of 1 - 2 hours) and him being held to sleep not rocked or bf. He is happy with this usually and will only cry for a minute or two if at all. He woke up only 6 times last night instead of the usually 8 to 10 and settled back quickly after either a feed or a 'hold'. I tried the holding him in his cot for his nap today but could not seem to get a good position for him or me and as it is my DH birthday and we've got guests on Friday night we are going to stick with the 'holding to sleep' but still increase the time between feeds. On Saturday we'll do the 'holding in cot'. All in all I am happy with how it is going and feel we are making progress. We tried all the gently gently approaches and I will not do cc so it is best for us. Fingers crossed we can make the next step as easily.

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Original poster
lori21 · 12/04/2007 17:05

I think I spoke too soon. last night was appalling - he did not want to go back to sleep from about 1.30am but i still only fed him 3 hourly. What a nightmare.....

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zakismum · 12/04/2007 19:03

Nightmare!! I'm never sure what's worse; frequent waking or when they don't want to go back to sleep. Was he crying or did he want to play?

I tried the holding in cot method & failed miserably.He just cried so I tried the shush pat & that seemed to work. But the test will be whether it will work again tonight.

(How old is yr LO? Mine is 16 wks)

Original poster
lori21 · 15/04/2007 14:30

Mine is 9 months old he slept well until he was 4 months then we have been trying everything since.

Failed miserably with the holding in cot so we are doing 'holding on a mat on the floor then moving to cot!' Seems to be working so far in the day but not so well at night

Last night was better. Woke after 3 hours was held to sleep (me in the chair) then slept for another 3 hours (WOW) Was fed then was unsettled from about 3.30am. He will cry as soon as he is put down from about then onwards and was even sobbing in his sleep whilst I was holding him.

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Original poster
lori21 · 17/04/2007 08:42

WOW - had a good night again. Was 'held on mat' to sleep at 7.45pm. Needed a few 'holds on chair' to sleep at around 10 /11pm. Woke at 3.30am and was fed was 'held on chair' to sleep at about 4am. Cried once at 5am and resettled himself (WOW) then I was woken at 6.50am by the sound of him playing in his cot (DOUBLE WOW).

I know it does not sound fantasitic but for us was absolutely brilliant!!!!

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tibsy · 19/04/2007 15:24

well done lori!!! hope the last coupla nights have been good. we too are back on the GW method (i managed to get my arse into gear) and have got to the stage where i can put dd down in her cot awake with a hand on her tummy (moved down from holding hands!) and she'll fall asleep she still cries out a little (literally a minute or two) and really cried on and off the first night for about an hour i didnt feel too bad tho because i was with her iyswim? i HATE crying, makes me want to rip her out of the cot and thrust her to my bosom!! thats the point of it tho isnt it?!

Troutpout · 19/04/2007 15:44

lol just saw this near the relationships headings and thought it was some new contraception method.

tibsy · 19/04/2007 15:57

bloody hell focl

tibsy · 19/04/2007 15:58

and that was fall off chair laughing

gingerninja · 19/04/2007 20:27

Tibsy, LOL at your thrust her to your bosom. I definately need to make more of an effort at this. Keep me posted, I think I'll follow your lead.

tibsy · 19/04/2007 21:27

will do ginger 2 X 1hr naps today, pretty good for a 30 min gal. not as good as yours of course

Original poster
lori21 · 20/04/2007 21:30

Things are getting better - we've moved to going to sleep in his cot with me putting my hands on his shoulder / stomach. I can't believe we have come this far. I did have to smile at the 'thrust to bosom'. That is exactly how I feel. With my lo I think it is that he struggles to relax enough to go to sleep. Today he was soooo tired but was trying to pull himself to a seated position in the cot. He only went to sleep when I physically held him down. I felt awful but if I didn't he would sit up in the cot laughing.

I am so glad we are doing this method. It feels like we are making real progress without too much crying and no 'abandoning!'

Good luck everyone else - I think I can see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel!

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tibsy · 21/04/2007 22:47

lori, do you find that its helping with the daytime naps, cos dd used to be a 30 min max gal, and she's now progressed to 1 hr? the other day, she napped for 1 3/4 hrs. unheard of before, without me sticking her back on the boob after 30 mins

llynnnn · 22/04/2007 17:22

Hi
I've just been reading this thread with interest as we are going to start this tonight (thanks tibsy ) any hints for the first night? dd is now rocked to sleep several times each night, really want her to be able to settle herself
its great to hear this method is working for you all

Original poster
lori21 · 24/04/2007 09:46

Yes the naps have really improved. We used to be on 30 minutes to the second and now he has two consistent naps. One of 1hr 30mins and the other of 45mins. It makes such a huge difference to my life.

We've had some difficult nights but have had the house full of guests and his Christening on Sunday. Back to normal now so we are getting back into the routine. He settled himself twice last night in his cot and at night I am getting him to go to sleep in his cot. I still getting him out and cuddle him during the night though so that is our next target.

I think I might start feeding him when we go to bed then increasing the time between feeds from that point rather than from the point that I put him to bed.

It is such a slow process but the longest time he has ever cried is 20mins and I was cuddling him throughout that so does not feel as bad

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Original poster
lori21 · 24/04/2007 10:34

llynnnn - hope it is going well. Although we are following the GW method with my lo it has been a long process before this and what we do incorporates suggestions from the book 'No cry sleep solution' , this article and this website We also have found the routine suggested in the Millpond book 'Teach your child to sleep' really useful and it suits our lo really well.

I found that it has helped to have determination and a belief that they will go to sleep without the props you have been using even if it does take a while and they cry a little.

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tibsy · 24/04/2007 10:48

how goes it llynnnn?

BikeBug · 24/04/2007 10:53

Hi, hope you don't mind me crashing your thread.

Do you have any idea how long it generally takes before you see sleep improvements with this method? Is it only once you have got to the very last stage of your lo being able to settle with just a few words from you?

I still don't want to do cc, but after almost 14 months (!) of appalling sleep am only prevented some nights by dh (who is even softer than me)

We've just started GW after going all through the NCSS (which helped us to establish great routines and gently stop night feeds, but which hasn't led to better night time sleep). GW seems to be going really well - we're up to sitting by the cot, occasionally stroking ds's back and saying 'sleepy now', but most nights he's still waking every couple of hours .

tibsy · 24/04/2007 11:16

our improvements were evident on the 2nd night i think, but theyre all different, and its when theyre ready for it i guess dd used to wake hourly prior to starting this method, so every 2 hours would have been seen as an improvement to me tho
i'm still at the same stage as you, and really need to move on to the next one if i'm going to make it to actually leaving the room before her 10th birthday!!!!
i think tonight may be the night

BikeBug · 24/04/2007 13:18

Thnaks tibsy. he was quicker to settle last night, and he responded to the patting and gentle words for his daytime nap this morning (big improvement there!) so things are getting better, but then he woke up 5 times last night after settling beautifully. First 2 of those he responded to patting, third he needed to be picked up, fourth I ended up taking him to the spare bed and the fifth was a nappy change for an upset tummy (which may explain at least some of the other 4!). It was a saga, and I was feeling pretty despondent, but I guess it is going to take some time for us. After all, it's taken over a year to get this far. Glad things are working well for you!

tibsy · 25/04/2007 09:06

well, i bit the bullet and moved onto the next stage!!! dd fell asleep at 7.30pm with me sitting about 1metre away,... no singing, no reassuring pats i'm so proud of her.
she woke at 3am for milk (thats another story!) up for day at 6.30 am.
hope everyone else getting on well

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