Nap time hell!

[Babybeesmama]

Any help gratefully received!

DS 13 weeks old today - thriving.. ebf & gone from 25th to 91st centile. Happy chubby thing. Night time sleep variable but usually does at least one 5-6 hour sleep overnight.. the rest 2-3 hours.. which I’m coping with.

Nap times are HELL! I rock or feed him & he literally wakes up 5 mins after being put down.. won’t go to sleep in pram.. gives up the in car but wakes up as soon as you stop 😕. And when he’s tired he’s foul... he will sleep in sling but often wakes when I stop walking (just the School pick up is stopping enough to wake him). He then gets over tired & screamy.

I have 2 other DC & really want some nice time with them (even if he only did 30 mins in cot or pram when we got home)!

I’ve tried my hummy.... he won’t take a dummy either..

I thinking persevere with ssh pat so there’s no transferring?

Please save me from insanity! Xx

Are you making sure you're trying to put him down before he's tired? Waking after 5 min could be due to overtiredness? As you have two other little ones I would keep trying with the sling as it gives you most flexibility to spend time with them and it's easier to try to resettle. I tend to bounce on the spot and shush if the baby rouses in the sling because I've stopped walking - I probably look like a nutter but it sends her back to sleep. Also can you block out the light a bit - I have a Manducawhich has a flap you pop over the baby's head to make it darker when they fall asleep.

Thanks Chloe.. good suggestions & it might well be that I’m missing his cues... got him in cot for about 20 mins this morning, 45 mins in pram at lunch & then another 30 mins in afternoon then he had ten mins at teatime.. not a great deal of sleep but he’s coped fine today..

I can’t remember when they start taking longer naps...? Decided I’m just grateful he’s ok ish at night!

Thanks

I'm a few weeks ahead of you and started 'serious' shh patting at around 12 weeks.. he is also a pushchair nap refuser, dummy refuser and 30 minute man. I have the benefit of both my older dc being at school so have been able to dedicate much time to the shushing. It has driven me mad at times and he is still thoroughly unpredictable. BUT today, he has taken 1 40 min cot nap with a huge fuss. But then at lunch napprd in cot without any bother at all and I managed to pat him back to sleep for a further 30 minutes. And tonight (trumpet fanfare) he went to bed without crying! Just in case any of that gives you hope..I'd nearly given up hope yesterday !

Glad it’s not just me perfectpanda! It drives me to distraction it really does!

Even in town I got him to sleep in sling.. put him in buggy.. stop for a Starbucks.. wide awake 😩😩😩!

Currently rocking him to sleep now & attempting sleepyhead transfer!

Well done on the 1hr 40 mins - amazing!! X

@perfectpanda how did you start the whole process? I have a 10 week old that only sleeps in the sling & walking during the day and it's very exhausting to keep up.... I really would want to try to see if I can get her to nap at home. And what do you do if it doesn't work and therefore baby misses out on sleep/nap (and then becomes overtired and cranky?) x

@Pinkbunny2 it's been a slow old process and I have had to invest a lot of time! But i think its worth it.

since about 11 weeks I've been using the snuzpod cot next to my bed for naps.

My main tip would be to make yourself as comfortable as possible lying next to them in the place they will end up napping - so for me, I lie on bed and then zip up the snuzpod side when he is asleep. Much easier than doing it bending over the moses basket. And be prepared to be there for a long stretch so. Have phone etc.

I lie next to him and tilt him slightly towards me.and lightly pat above his left shoulder and shush at same time. To begin with could be doing it for 30 minute or more . Expect lots of crying. It often helped if you let them have a bit of a cry in your arms or cuddling them in the bed before you start the patting .

At first I would stay with him patting until he'd got through first startle at about 7 minutes. I'd then stay next to him for up.to 20.minutes and often pat around that time as often woke again. I was doing that for about 2 weeks.

I would give myself a time limit, so if not asleep by 30 or 40 minites I'd give up and use sling or feed to sleep. And try again next day. I only did it for 1 or 2 naps a day at first as it can be so frustrating.

Another vital point is to time the nap very carefully so put her down before too tired. I get him up at same time every day and to begin with used to do it just for the first nap so I knew what time it was going to be and could plan to be upstairs for that chunk of time.

4 weeks later he probably self settles 50 percent of the time but never at bedtime. But the good thing is that if he can't settle, I can get him to sleep by such a light tap on his left shoulder for about 5 minutes at the most. My next challenge is getting him to stay asleep past 40.minutes But since my last post he has had a couple of longish naps by patting him back to sleep. So it really is worth persevering. Good luck!

Sorry I put loads of paragraphs in there and have no idea why they haven't come out!

@perfectpanda thank you for your reply. Sounds like I just have to bite the bullet and be 'strong' enough to start with this and then stick with it. So when you first put your baby down would you not pic

Sorry I posted too early what I wanted to say... would you not pick him up again even if he cried? Or would you put him down start shushing and patting but then pick him up again and calm down before putting back down? I had to bounce DD to sleep for 3 hrs tonight so having to tap her shoulders for 5min sounds like a dream to me :)

I think there are some guidelines about how to do it in the baby whisperer website which I read. But I'm not sure I followed them exactly! With ds, it seems like his howling is all about trying to sleep rather than wanting to be in my arms. So to begin with I would sometimes pick him up again but more often than not he didn't stop crying . I found he responded well to a rattle, that noise often distracted from crying. It was different with my dd , she always stopped crying when I picked her up so I was more inclined to pick her up when she got bedside herself. With the snuzpod cot I'm so close to him I don't feel such a need to pick him up as my face is right by his ear. It's wierd, I can't remember those early days very clearly. It's all blocked out! ! Might be worth starting a shush pat thread, there may well be some experts out there. I saw there were some videos on YouTube too but haven't watched them! Wishing you lots of luck......