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Original poster

Controlld crying, no discussion - just what do I do

111 replies

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 20:41

and a few tales of how well it works would be much appreciated. My 6 month old dd wakes every two hours, only goes to sleep on the breast and can take up to an hour to settle if I accidentally wake her between breast and cot. I'm knackered and honestly feel cc is my only option so plan to start tomorrow night.

I've read a bit of the discussion on the other thread but to be honest I'm just too knackered to scroll through the whole thing so..

Who's done it, how did you do it and how long did it take to work? Anyone anti cc by the way please don't post on here as I just can't handle it.

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PeachesMcLean · 05/04/2007 23:36

Sorry Franny, we'll have to agree to disagree. There are hundreds of threads posted everyday on MN and that gives a huge resource of information when you need it, and plenty of opportunities to voice the pros and cons of CC. It just seems a shame that we can't respect one poster's wishes when she simply wants information about best practice.

I for one, wouldn't know where to find a closed forum for cc, and don't see why we shouldn't be allowed to discuss how to do it here. However, I'm off to bed, since it's well past my bedtime, and I just hope missingsleep is feeling a bit better tomorrow. Poor lass.
See you in the morning.

FrannyandZooey · 05/04/2007 23:46

Of course you can discuss it here Peaches - I hope it didn't sound like I was suggesting otherwise?

But this is an open forum and people will respond to threads and questions as they choose

I will say again - if you feel so upset by people wanting to discuss your methods then I would question whether they are the right methods for you

and I wish the OP (and all the rest of us) lots of luck in getting some sleep

JodieG1 · 05/04/2007 23:53

Franny agree with what you said totally, if someone is upset by another's opnion then what they are doing doesn't fit right with them.

Dottydot · 06/04/2007 16:49

Missingsleep - did you give it a go last night? Hope whatever you did went OK!

Original poster
missingsleep · 06/04/2007 18:51

Hi Dotty and all, trying it tonight, thankyou all those of you who have shared your experiences and offered support.

Franny, this is an open forum and you should feel free to air your opinions if you want to. There is however no argument you can raise that I haven't considered myself. At the end of the day I suppose sleep deprivation drives some of us to desperation more quickly than others.

OP posts:
Dottydot · 06/04/2007 19:02

Good luck - will be thinking of you.

pooka · 06/04/2007 19:03

Sleep deprivation is torture. No question about it.

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 06/04/2007 19:12

Hi MS - haven't read all of thread, so not sure if you have all the answers you wanted or not, but you leave her to cry for 5 mins the first time, then go in and shhhh her, and leave again, this time waiting 10 mins before you go in, then shhhhh her, then wait 15 mins, then 20 and so on, adding 5 mins each time.

The second night you start with 10 mins, then 15 and so on.

The third night you start with 15, then 20 and so on.

I did it with my dd at a similar age to yours to get her to be able to settle herself at all, and then again around 8/9 months to eliminate night feeds. Both times it only took a few days to work (and she was a 5 or 6 times a night waker prior to this, with each wake being up to 2 hours!).

Best of luck!

3easterbunniesandnomore · 06/04/2007 19:16

link

3easterbunniesandnomore · 06/04/2007 19:17

In Penelope Leaches books I read, that really you should never leave it longer then 3 minutes between going in, and that is what we did and worked well with ms

pooka · 06/04/2007 19:34

Penelope Leach is brill. I didn't do cc'ing, partly because while knackered, dh stepped in really once no longer doing night feeds. Also because I couldn't bear it. Couldn't have managed much more than 3 mins for sure.

MuffinMclay · 06/04/2007 19:42

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck tonight. I did cc with ds (going in at 5 mins, 10 mins, 15 mins the first night, 5 and 10 mins the 2nd night) and it was a lifesaver. I only had to do it for 2 nights. It might take you a few nights to get the benefits. I found that I kept waking up expecting him to cry and, in fact, he didn't.

I was seriously starting to lose the plot from the lack of sleep. Can't remember exactly how old he was, but he was probably around 6 months.

REIDmychocolateylips · 06/04/2007 19:44

missing sleep, let us know how you get on, hope it is going ok x

Original poster
missingsleep · 06/04/2007 19:48

It's been three minutes, probably don't need to explain how I feel. God this is hard.

OP posts:
ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 06/04/2007 20:22

How's it going now ms?

Forgot to add that I read somewhere that around 2 hours can be quite normal for the first night (though lots of people I know haven't found that it's taken that long), so don't despair and feel that it's not working if she seems to not be responding straight away.

Find something to distract you for a bit - MN is usually good for that!

kbaby · 06/04/2007 20:24

Good luck, We are due to imbark on it with DS who is 8 months and waking 6 times a night(goes to sleep fine on his own at nap time but not bed time!!) Let me know how you get on.

ScoobyDooooo · 06/04/2007 20:25

I honestly don't understand this CC so are you saying that some people will leave a 6 month old baby to cry for 2hrs?

surly babies are babies they are helpless human beings that rely on us why on gods earth would you want to leave a baby to cry for so long?

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 06/04/2007 20:44

Only in stints of a few minutes at a time Scooby, but yes. 6 months is the youngest recommended for the technique though, and anecdotally I think it tends to work quicker than this in younger babies.

For myself it really wasn't so bad, because dd would often spend 2 hours screaming at me whilst I tried my best to settle her, so by doing cc I knew that this would only continue for a few days, rather than indefinitely.

I think you really have to have been there with a nightmare sleeper (and I'm not just talking one who happens to wake a couple of times a night and like a feed) to understand why some women use this technique.

I had less than 4 hours sleep a night every night for at least the first 4 months of dd's life, and by 6 months I was a walking zombie!

Original poster
missingsleep · 06/04/2007 20:53

Hello, well it took 22 minutes, we never left her longer than five. Have to say I thought it would be much much worse, still there's always tomorrow...

OP posts:
Original poster
missingsleep · 06/04/2007 20:55

Also, chocolatesuckswithoutsugar I completely agree with you, she's cried for far longer when I've been trying to settle her. If this works I think it will actually be a fairer option than what I've been doing.

OP posts:
cruisemum1 · 06/04/2007 21:07

i did it last night. my ds is 7mths - just. he has been waking 1 - 2 hourly on a bad night and 2 times on a VERY good night. He always falls asleep on boob. This is what i did. usual bedtime routine, bf to sleep. When he woke (about five mins after being in cot) I went in kissed him, stroked his face and said night night beautiful boy. I left, 1 min later the same, 2 mins later the same, 2 mins later again, 4 mins later. His cries subsided and elevated alternately so it was a bit confusing after that. I kept going in at 5 min intervals/6min. By 40mins he was fast asleep for 10 hours. he grizzled at 9:30pm and 5.55am but I didn't even get as far as his door. Tonight I did the same but after 6 mins total he was asleep. I was petrified about cc, went against everything i believed/felt. ds has never relented before and I am amazed at how it has gone. I used to read these threads with envy.
it is early days and i have no idea waht he night holds for me but i have hope! Good luck

ChocolateSucksWithoutSugar · 06/04/2007 21:08

Oh that's fantastic ms! Always good to have an encouraging start. Fingers crossed that tomorrow goes just as well.

Malaleche · 06/04/2007 21:15

I did CC with DD1 at 3 mo (no typo, and i know my own dcs, she was always a very 'grown-up' baby). She was an easy baby generally and quite calm and quiet but used to going back to sleep on the breast when she surfaced during the night.
I went in at multiples of 2 mins, eg: 2,2,4,4,6 or whatever. It took 2 or 3 nights and she cried a total of 10-12 mins the first night with me going in at those intervals and less the 2nd night, night 3 i think she mumbled a bit and that was it.
When she was teething or ill she woud go back to being dependant on tit and that was fine with me. Once she was better i would do cc again, usually only one night did it.
DD2 was nearer 5 mo when i did cc with her becuase things were just too chaotic and DD1's needs would interfere with the process...
However i managed it. But last week she had a cold and i started taking her into bed with us, she sleeps in a cot next to our bed. Then before i could cc her again my Mum arrived for a weeks visit and i didnt want DD2 waking her up in the night, so she's still coming into our bed after the first waking around 2 or 3. By the way since co-sleeping, she is now waking me up to 3 times a night instead of once. Can't wait till my mum leaves and i can cc her and go back to sleeping at night instead of swearing...good luck.

REIDmychocolateylips · 06/04/2007 21:24

glad it went ok ms, as i said earlier my ds was similar to this on first night, and he got better each night i hope it continues to go well for you!!

amijee · 06/04/2007 21:29

well done missing sleep - the first nigth is the worst ...and then you realise that they are fine the next day and it makes you more relaxed after that.