Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

Controlld crying, no discussion - just what do I do

111 replies

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 20:41

and a few tales of how well it works would be much appreciated. My 6 month old dd wakes every two hours, only goes to sleep on the breast and can take up to an hour to settle if I accidentally wake her between breast and cot. I'm knackered and honestly feel cc is my only option so plan to start tomorrow night.

I've read a bit of the discussion on the other thread but to be honest I'm just too knackered to scroll through the whole thing so..

Who's done it, how did you do it and how long did it take to work? Anyone anti cc by the way please don't post on here as I just can't handle it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tatties · 05/04/2007 21:31

Missingsleep - it doesn't have to be CC or nothing though, it really doesn't. My baby didn't sleep either, I know what it feels like. Like hatrick says, co-sleeping can be a give you all a decent night without the stress of CC.

Original poster

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 21:32

And in defence of cubby, she probably knows her own baby better then any of you and loves it a damn sight more too. She did what she thought was right and it seems she was right anyway. we're all Mums and don't need to be critising each other

OP posts:

hercules1 · 05/04/2007 21:33

What about the ezlizabeth pantly no cry solution?

Original poster

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 21:34

Tatties, co-sleeping isn't an option if I want to sleep with my dp too. PU/PD doesn't work nor does the NCSS. What are the other options?

OP posts:

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:34

missingsleep - don't get wound up - it's not worth it! If you're really to try c.c. then have a go - if it works you'll start to get some sleep and if it doesn't you're no worse off... But keep at it for at least a week - hopefully it won't take as long as that!

hercules1 · 05/04/2007 21:34

That makes no sense...

moondog · 05/04/2007 21:34

Missing,when I did it,it was when maddened by lack of sleep like you and yes it did (in that the baby eventually stopped crying.)

i can't do the co-sleeping thing,and although generally a bit of a hippy (ie breastfed for decades,weave lentils and so on)there are times when have turned into a bit of a nazi in order to maintain sanity.

Hope you can sort it. it'sa hard work.

Couldn't you 'book' a few hours peace by getting your partner to give EBM or doing some serious rocking/driving around the block?

I acceptedthat i was going to have to feed at the very least once a night until baby was 12 months.

hatrick · 05/04/2007 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 21:40

Sorry to get defensive - I blame the sleep deprivation. Cheers moondog, I'm a bit of a lentil weaver too which is probably another reason I'm so defensive about this.

The real problem isn't giving the feeds, I know that's just what I have to do - it's the sitting there at 2 in the morning with her on my boob, counting to 200 after she's finished sucking, carefully transferring her to the cot then being close to tears when she wakes on the way down and I have to start all over again.

OP posts:

GibbonInARibbon · 05/04/2007 21:40

for PU/PD to work your DP may have to do it as your LO will only get confused and upset if you withold the breast (as you have always given it)
Sorry if you feel jumped on, it's not that people dont care how you are feeling - just trying to advise on other ways x

moondog · 05/04/2007 21:40

Feed her then hand her over to her dad no?

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:42

Right - so definitely no more counting to 200 until she falls asleep!! It's putting them down awake that's the trick (it's all coming back to me now..!). They need to be awake, or drowsy/sleepy, so that they can see you leave and then basically learn (hopefully quickly) that you do come back - when they've had a sleep! If you always put them down asleep they never/take ages to learn that. We've always put both ours down asleep - ds2 for some reason was much better than ds1 in that he was always fine with this - loves his bed (like his Mum), but with ds1 we did have to do c.c., but it worked.

chocolatechipmonkey · 05/04/2007 21:42

Missingsleep, here's what I did
Usual routine, whatever is normal for you, bath, book, etc.
Put baby down. Say " Night-night" and leave the room. Cue screams of abandonment.
after 1 minute, go back in, lie baby down and repeat "night-night" Go back out and wait 2 minutes.
Repeat, increasing by 1 minute at a time. Baby knows that 1/you haven't abandoned him as you keep coming back and 2/ you are not taking any crap and he is expected to go to sleep.
It took us up to 9 minutes with ds3 this time by which time he lay down and went to sleep. Cue Mummy going downstairs for large glass of wine.
The second night we got to five minute intervals and the third night he just lay down and went to sleep.
I don't think it's abandonment the way some people imply it is. You do this for their own good in the same way as you don't feed them chocolate all day because they scream if they don't get it.

chocolatechipmonkey · 05/04/2007 21:43

By the way, PUPD was a total non-starter with ds3.

PeachesMcLean · 05/04/2007 21:43

Hi missingsleep. I started at around 4 or 5 months but with making sure the daytime naps worked well, and we did cc at night when he was about 10 months - ie, well after he no longer needed a night-time feed.

I'm afraid I turned a bit SWMNBN - wake at 7am, naps at 9am, 12ish and for half an hour or so at 4pm. Regular proper sleep was the only way I could stop him crying constantly during the day (I'd had a rather trying time before that.) I'd make sure he was fed, dry and comfortable, put him in the cot awake, maybe sing a song, stick this musical thing on. He'd cry for about 10 minutes, at first I'd check him a few times in those 10 minutes, and then he'd go to sleep by himself. After a month or so, or possibly less (I can't really remember) he'd go to sleep by himself without the crying. He was one of those babies that cried a lot until I got the sleep thing sorted, and I have to say, after that, he became really happy and easy to look after.

Once I'd eased him off feeding in the night, (I stopped breast feeding at 6 months) and at about 8 months slowly started watering down his nighttime feeds until I knew he was't waking for food. Then I stopped giving anything just a cuddle, then he'd go back to sleep. But then at about 10 months, he was still waking religiously for a cuddle and a bit of attention (ie, out of habit, he's never been a cuddly or clingy child) so we did controlled crying. The first night, he cried for about an hour before he went back to sleep, I went in and checked after 2 mins, then 3, then 4 and so on. the second night he slept through and has been a really good sleeper ever since, and a lovely confident boy. So it's the one bit of SWMNBN that I swear by. There may be people on here that disagree with this but I can only tell you my experience. I did read a few other books on the subject too, one was a fairly 80s ish american book I wish I could remember the name of, which talked through all the reasons you put off controlled crying, and talks you through whether it's for you or not. Incidentally, on the first night I sent DS to sleep downstairs cos I know he's non too patient and needed to go to work the next day.

Oh dear this is a bit long... but it really worked for us, so I tend to be a bit evangelical.

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:43

chocolatechipmonkey - brilliant post - exactly what I've been trying to say, but much better!

REIDmychocolateylips · 05/04/2007 21:45

missingsleep, like you have said, you know your dc the best. Do what feels right for you! As someone has already said, if it works brilliant you will get the sleep you obviously need, if not you havent lost anything. As i said in my earlier post cc has worked for ds getting himself to sleep at bed time with out having to be roked to sleep.

rislip · 05/04/2007 21:46

Sorry Peaches what is SWMNBN?
I'm new to this game.

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:46

Peaches - me too. You neeeeed sleep to be a sane(ish) parent (IMO!)

Original poster

missingsleep · 05/04/2007 21:48

Thanks everybody. Just wanted a few of those stories of it working to cling to tomorrow night. Wish me luck

OP posts:

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:48

Rislip - it stands for she who must not be named and refers to the sentences in the 'add your message here' bit - hope that makes sense?!

Dottydot · 05/04/2007 21:49

Let us know how you get on!

rislip · 05/04/2007 21:50

Got it, I thought that is who you meant.
Thanks.

Good luck missing sleep

REIDmychocolateylips · 05/04/2007 21:50

i' been on this website for 6 months now and idnt realsie that is what swmnbn stood for!!!!

sunnyjim · 05/04/2007 22:02

we did it a bit older than 6 months though.

it did work however as DS was waking 3-6 times a night.

first time of crying - go straight in, change nappy, give milk, cuddle til sleepy, lights off no talking.

if crying when had milk/nappy check then leave for 5 minutes before going back in,

repeat the going in ad infinitum, but extend time to 10 mins then 20 mins. if still crying after 30 minutes or very clingy give calpol on second visit.

All visits excet first one, aim not to pick up at all, just to help him calm down a bit then leave room again.

repeat same words each time "sleepytime, goodnight xxx"

never put light on!

Flip

1 2 3 4 5