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Sleep

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Original poster

controlled crying . How long does it take?

15 replies

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 10:37

Last week dd 8 months started to wake up at night and scream and scream for ages for no reason at all, although I think there was some seperation anxiety issues as well.

Phoned hv, who said it was common at this age and to do cc. The stuff she sent me, says go in after one minute, then 2, then 3 etc. Is this right?

Anyway, have been doing it for 5 nights with no noticeable change. Breaks my heart to hear dd cry, but am so knackered. Anyone done it/knows any more about it?

OP posts:

fannyannie · 31/03/2007 10:55

ok the way I was told (and did) was this

Put them down in the cot, walk out and leave them for 2 minutes.

Go back in, DON'T PICK UP or try and cuddle but just gently reassure by touching and talking quietly - but only for a few seconds., go out again for 5 minutes (go and put the kettle on and make a coffee)

Go back in repeat reassurance

Leave for 10 minutes (drink your coffee)

Go back in

Leave for 20 minutes (open bottle of wine)

repeat at 20 minute intervals.

Repeat if they wake in the night again too.

fannyannie · 31/03/2007 10:56

HOWEVER are you sure she isn't teething? Have you tried giving some Calpol???

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 12:54

She already has some teeth, and didn't carry on like this, when they were appearing.

I really think it is more to do with people leaving the room, at least that is where it started. If you went to settle her if she woke up during naptime, she would cry straight away when you left her. She then started doing this at night, and it carried on from there.

You seem to have used bigger time intervals than me. Did you find it worked?

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kiskidee · 31/03/2007 13:13

different teeth seem to cause different reactions. molars seem to take ages to come out and some kids have no end of hassle with them.

and leaving them when they are going through separation anxieties doesn't seem to be most sensitive way of making it go away. a need goes away when that need is met. i have heard.

chirpygirl · 31/03/2007 13:19

We used to cuddle DD when she started this until she calmed down and then put her back, took about 10 mins, which is still faster than constantly going in and out.
Lately I have been falling asleep when cuddling her so I tried turning on her mobile, which has lights and sound, and sitting in the room with her, worked great, and now I just go in and turn it on and leave....silence!

(she can turn it on herself, she just seems to want to see me or DH do it for her, sometimes she will be sitting up waiting for me to switch it on)

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 14:31

Ddgirl. That sounds a really good idea, as I said I don't like leaving her to cry, How long did it take until she was ok again?

Kiskidee, I totally agree, that's why it upsets me. There was an article in the paper some time ago, which said that leaving them to cry makes them more anxious.

I just need some sleep....she has got a bad cold now, so God knows what is going to happen tonight.

OP posts:

tinkerbellhadpiles · 31/03/2007 14:37

I have been solving my DDs sleep problem by using pick up put down because I can't bear to hear her cry. Have you tried that?

chirpygirl · 31/03/2007 16:39

(did you mean me?!)

I only sat in her room for one night whole the mobile was playing, she seemed to take ages to settle to sleep as she knew I was there, but when I went in the next night and just turned it on and left she grumped once and that was it.

TBH I was happy with cuddling her as I hate leaving her to cry, but as I am PG DH wanted me to get out of the habit of sleeping with her on the sofa in her room, which is fair enough!

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 16:51

She isn't very cuddly, and usually squirms away. Whilst I want to hold her,she doesn't seem to like it, it seems to wind her up more.

My favoured method was PU/PD. but she is just so heavy, I can't keep it up for very long.

Am totally confused about what is best now. Hate leaving her to cry, especially as she has a cold, but need some sleep

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Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 16:51

She isn't very cuddly, and usually squirms away. Whilst I want to hold her,she doesn't seem to like it, it seems to wind her up more.

My favoured method was PU/PD. but she is just so heavy, I can't keep it up for very long.

Am totally confused about what is best now. Hate leaving her to cry, especially as she has a cold, but need some sleep

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Blessed2 · 31/03/2007 16:52

I used that book that we are not supposed to mention and it worked with my son - and yes I would do it again. However, our hearts hearing our dd cry but we perserverd. Even now after 4 years we still remember how much it broke our hearts but - thank God for sleep. It was either hear dd cry or murder the entire family to get some sleep

MerryMarigold · 31/03/2007 16:54

Calpol is worth a try! Made my ds sleep like a log. And worth it for 1 night of rest for you to 'catch up' at least.

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 17:25

Tried calpol.....and medised (evil mother)makes not an ounce of difference.

She seems determined to scream piteously for an hour and a half every night. Am at my wits end TBH.

Whole house completely knackered as she is keeping everyone awake. Ds had to have Thursday off school, as she had kept him awake for last 3 nights and he couldn't get back to sleep. He surfaced at 12.30 midday eventually, he's never ever slept like that before

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chirpygirl · 31/03/2007 20:05

Have you tried putting her to bed later? I changed DD's bedtime by half an hour to stop her waking at 5 and she was so knackered she started sleeping til 7...

Although it will be too late for that tonight! good luck!

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 31/03/2007 21:04

She normally goes about 8.00pm, as she definitely gets up early if she goes earlier.

She's pretty knackered by then TBH. Am off to read The Baby Whisperer again to see if there is a version of PU/PD that deals with heavy babies........

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