Night weaning

[susannaR]

Hi ladies...apologies for all my posts...you're all so helpful tho!
After months and months of breast feeding my 7month back to sleep hourly, I finally cracked last night 🙈 So I fed him at 8, 9,10,11pm then at midnight I just figured this is ridiculous!
So basically I picked him up and held him in my arms (with dummy) until he went back to sleep. Then put him back in cot. I did this hourly until 5am when I caved in and fed him as he was getting hysterical. That's the 1st time I can remember him having a 'proper feed' in the morning for months!
What about tonight tho?! Anybody any experience? Obviously I don't want to keep holding him to sleep every hour that's another problem lol! I tried to settle him in cot but he was going crazy until I picked him up 😕 PU/PD u think? Or is he too old? He knockes the dummy out with his crazy flying arms 😣

If he's used to feeding hourly, I would only feed every 3 hours to begin with. Then gradually stretch the intervals between feeds with a view to stopping feeding completely. I would cuddle him until calm, then put him in his cot with his dummy in. Keep patting his tummy or back gently, preferably with white noise on. I wouldn't take him out of his cot until the next feed as that would be too stimulating at his age. Expect some really awful nights! But it will get better. You need to be 100% consistent though. Maybe you can get your partner to help?

I night weaned both of mine at about that age - I'd also recommend sleeping elsewhere and getting your partner (if you have one) do the settling. Plus, as PP said, don't go straight to no night feeds, just stretch the times out. Can you settle LO to asleep in other ways? Because if feeding to sleep is the only way of settling you will need to work on that too.

Hi ladies...thank you both for replying..you sometimes feel so alone with these things and just guessing the right thing to do feels sort of wrong when it comes to feeding!
So I was happy he was comfort feeding and didn't really NEED the milk at night so I went cold turkey 1st night 🙈 He actually wasn't as bothered as I thought and was pretty content just to be cuddled with the dummy ☺️ However...I'm now on night 4 now of no nights feeds (still feeding at 8pm bed and 10pm when I do to bed) and he's feeding well at 6am but he's still waking 2hourly requiring me to pick him up and cuddle him back to sleep with dummy. I thought I might have seen an improvement by now and maybe got a bit of a longer stretch of sleep 😕 Guess I just plod on as we are? Maybe need to be more persistent with in cot settling rather than picking him up? X

Can he get his dummy back in by himself? Would scattering a few in the cot or attaching one to his pjs work? In my experience you need to get them to sleep in a way that involves being in the cot and minimal intervention from you. What would happen if you just shh and pat with dummy in while he lies in cot?

I agree with pp, you need to get him to sleep with as little intervention from you as possible. He is a bit young to be inserting his own dummy but not far off.
As for seeing an improvement, you're only on night 4 so it's still early. But it's great that you're down to only the dream feed, well done!

"on night 4 now of no nights feeds..."

You need to change your expectations.

● By 12 weeks old I stopped automatically feeding at each wake up, resettling with a dumny first (breastfeeding only if continually unsettled)
● By 4 months I was giving 1 (bottle) feed at night on occassional nights, most nights no feeds. I was now mix feeding
● By 5 months I was giving no night feeds at all.
● By 9 months sleeping through occassionally
● By 11 months sleeping through consistantly
● By 12 months fully independantly settling.

So no night feeds from 5 months old... This does not mean sleeping through.

My DD started sleeping through occassionally 4 months after stopping night feeds. Sleeping through (and settling completely unaided) consistently by 7 months after stopping night feeds.

4 days. 4 days?! Bless you.

I keep the cot next to me. Resettles involved leaning an arm over the cot to locate dummy and putting it in. All done without me moving or opening my eyes.

Working on gradual withdrawal for independant settling (at bedtime and naptime) throughout. By 8/9 months or so baby could put in own dummy (as long as I made sure it was easily findable) so resettles required much less intervention - just my hand hung over cot side to touch baby's chest was mostly enough.

It was 7 months after stopping night feeds that baby could be put standing up in the cot at bedtime, say nan night and hear nothing from her until morning.

Thanks ☺️ It needed to be done...hourly wake ups for 3months was really taking its toll 😞 I don't know how people do the demand feeding/co-sleeping long term! That was with cot up against my bed too so I wasn't having to get out but even so the broken sleep is horrible. I'm so pleased I did it...he's feeding much better in the day time now rather than snacking, and also eating a few more solids so he was obviously just filling up on milk overnight?
Anyhow thank you for the encouragement and tonight I am going to try settling him in cot with dummy rather than pick him up...wish me luck 🙈😍
Re the dummy...I had a lot of trouble unswaddling him so he is in a zippeddee zip (they're gr8 btw!) but it means he doesn't have his hands....maybe didn't think it through 🤔...1 thing at a time tho! I'll wean from zippeddee once night weaning is complete I think?!

Hi Fate! We typed at same time!
🙈😂 I love how you set me back down to earth with a bump haha!
...don't worry...expectations are fine! Defo not expecting to put him in his room and see him in the morning. He's still in cot next to my bed and complete accept I'll have dummy insets for a while yet...happy with that believe me! I would just like he process where I lean over...pop dummy in and he settles back to sleep to hurry up and come around lol! I'm currently still having to lift him every 2 hours and cuddle him to sleep in my arms then put him back in cot (after 5am wake he won't go back down either I have to keep hold of him) x

I would just bite the bullet and deal with some crying to stop picking up. Obviously you stay there with baby, leaning over and doing the settling in the cot. It helps to have sidecot at the same mattress height as your bed for this - it allows for you cuddling up to baby while in the cot to settle baby. It's a natural progression from cosleeping and breastfeeding to sleep lying down.

Yea...think I'll have to toughen up 😞 He went to bed at 8pm so I've just been up for the 1st wake up 😣...couldn't settle him in cot tho...has to pick him up but he settled in 5mins after I did 🙄 Little monkey x

Funny enough he rarely looses the dummy now...just wakes up and cries with it still in his mouth 🙈

That suggests he was still in a light sleep and hadn't got into a proper deep sleep. Dummy falls out naturally in a deep sleep because the whole body and all muscles relax, including those of his mouth/jaw.

If he has not lost his dummy either his head hasn't turned or moved and gravity is holding it in (useful and usual in the newborn phase, but such static sleep is unlikely at this age), or he's not gone into a deep sleep since first being given dummy.

Have you tried leaving him for a few minutes before going in to settle him? Use a clock because I find that 30s of my baby crying felt like forever!

Yea...probably guilty of jumping on him too quick 😞 especially overnight when he's lying right next to me. Not sure why he's such a light sleeper...even if times are the worst for me and always have been. He does to bed around 7:30/8pm but he can be up every 45mins until 11ish.
...jinxed it yesterday anyway! He wouldn't settle at 9:30 so I fed him then when he wouldn't settle again properly from 2-4am I caved in and fed him...massively regretting it this morning now 😭 He's declined morning milk and porridge again...hope I'm not back to square 1! X

How come he's still in your bedroom? Have you thought about moving him into his own room yet

Thought about yes...done it...no 😂 U think it's a better idea? I'm just worried I'll get even less sleep as I'll be going back and forward to his room all night? But u think he might not wake as much if he's not right next to me? Suppose I've nothing to loose by trying?! X

How much 'proper' food are you giving him during the day OP? I found that DDs sleep went to shit during weaning because she was so greedy, and I was letting her have far too much as I was just so pleased she was eating so well. Milk is supposed to make up the vast majority of their diet at this age as it is far more nutritionally useful for their growth and development than veg etc at this stage. I found that limiting her solid intake during the day (one 'meal' and a light snack of finger foods at 7 months) meant less nighttime wakings as she wasn't trying to get all the milk she didn't have space for during the day, she only wakes once or twice a night now (and I think that is mostly because we cosleep and moving/coming to bed disturbs her rather than her actually wanting to feed)

I think he and you will sleep much better if he's in his own room. Try rocking and calming him til he is very nearly asleep then putting him down so he's still awake. You might get longer out of him that way

Hi Lapin...yes it's probably worth a try..nothing to loose have I? He actually goes to sleep fully awake and settles in his cot, with a dummy, but I lie next to him (not really sure what he would do if I just walked out? Presume cry?!)

Silk- you could be right...yesterday funny enough he ate the most he ever has...and at 5pm polished off some veg purée and a yogurt then I felt like he had less milk at 7pm than he does normally. It's so hard to know what to do! Feed before meals/after..push solids, slow down 🤔🤣