10mo waking every 90 mins all night.

[Quodlibet]

Am starting to lose my mind a bit.

He's also taken to getting up for the day at 5am most days.
After a brief period of improvement his sleep has got worse since moving him into his big sister's room. We have also been on holiday where he was a pain to get to sleep every night, lots of fighting sleep.

Routine used to be, roughly: wake at 7ish, BF, breakfast etc, first nap about 3hrs 15 later, often first nap was 1.5 hrs. BF. Then lunch, then second nap about 3.5 hrs after the first nap and usually 45 mins/hr. BF. Sometimes he'll have a short first nap and long second nap instead. Dinner at 6ish, bath, bed. He will rarely sleep any earlier than 8pm.

At his best his sleep is 8pm-midnight (feed), feed at 3am ish, up at 6.30/7. This happens very rarely now.

He used to be good at settling himself but now am feeding to sleep and putting him in his cot. He's waking every 90 mins from 8pm for most of the night. If my partner tries to settle him he screams until I come up with my magic boobies.

Other factors - very big baby, very mobile (up and cruising furniture, fast crawling). Lots of change recently - holiday, then I did a week's work so his dad was looking after him every day (up from 2 days/week). He eats very well.

Can anyone suggest anything? Is he not sleeping enough in the day?? On the worst days recently we've put him back to 3 naps as he's knackered by 8.30am, but it's not improved the night sleep.

Also - he naps in his buggy, very easy to get to sleep and rarely any resistance provided you put him in at the right time.

Anyone??

Similarities to ds.

Sent dh in with bottle of water.

First night 1 Oz.

Second night none.
Third night slept through.
And he was prem not huge!!
Slept 12 hours a night since. .
2 years ago!!!

We've tried that - with water and with expressed milk. Rarely works - if it's not me it's a meltdown these days.
Last night he went to sleep at 8 and woke at 9.30, 10.30, 12, 1.15, 2.30 (at which point I slept on his bedroom floor) and was up for the day at 5.15.

Try having a read of the Precious Little Sleep website. There seem to be some good tips around avoiding/braking these sorts of bad sleep habits and why they occur. Our DD is only 3 months, so haven't had a chance to try them out, but I found it a very interesting read. Good luck!

his sleep has got worse since moving him into his big sister's room

The first thing I would do is being him out of his sister's room. Aside from it being unfair on her sleep, it will be easier for you if you can sleep closer to the cot.

On the worst days recently we've put him back to 3 naps as he's knackered by 8.30am, but it's not improved the night sleep

On nights with very broken sleep, he may need that. Getting more daytime sleep in that way is not about expecting an improvement in the sleep the following night, it's just about avoiding baby being over tired. It's effectively mitigating against sleep getting worse.

If in an over tired cycle, you may require several weeks of consistantly plentiful sleep in order to get out of the cycle and see an improvement. You won't see an improvement in a day or two.

The main issue though is baby not going to sleep where he stays asleep. This with involve either:

• continuing feeding to sleep but embracing cosleeping compelling and letting baby stay asleep lying next to you at the breast.

• stopping feeding to sleep and getting baby to go to from awake to asleep in the cot.

But if baby is over tired, no point in working on in-cot settling until out of the over tired cycle.

Sleep training. Put him to bed and return in the morning. Stop feeding at night, stop going in to give night time attention and teach him nights are for sleeping.

Fate thank you for that very useful reply.
I don't think we can return to co sleeping unfortunately because he is just so active and our bed is high. We did have the cot next to our bed with one side removed but it is not safe to leave him asleep and not contained in the cot so it would restrict us to going to bed at 8pm with him. Not possible as I often need to work in the evening.

We could bring the cot back in our room I suppose, if we got blackout curtains in there. It's too light currently.

The insight about overtiredness taking weeks to resolve is really useful, thanks. So how do we get him out of that state?? Just prioritise naps/sleep by any means necessary (hard with a three year old also in the mix but he always always gets two naps a day and a good bedtime routine) or try to be consistent? I've just sent my other half out with him in the buggy to get him off after trying for an hour in a darkened room while he cries and thrashes about.

I feel like we can work towards him settling in his cot - we were so nearly there and he's always preferred to have a feed and then settle himself while drowsy, but at the moment he is too active to switch off without loads of help or being strapped in the buggy.

Can you give me some steps? I am too tired to see straight let alone make a plan.

I do think his activity level is part of the problem - he is just turned 10months and on the verge of walking, can eg climb a flight of stairs unaided, going through a massive leap in terms of physical skills and he just doesn't seem to be able to chill out!'

Hey don't have much experience here but if you use tinfoil and a wet cloth it will black out the window x

Redken's idea is a good one for sn immediate solution to blackout windows.

Just prioritise naps/sleep by any means necessary

Yes, that's the idea to get out of an over tiredness cycle. I'd have about a week of "any sleep, any how, any where, as much as possible". Then continue with prioritising making sleep easy for baby (so not worrying about how you get baby to sleep, just get him to sleep) but try for a bit more consistency in timings.

Once you have baby getting plentiful amounts of sleep and have started noting some predictability - then reassess the situation and decide how you need to change the method of getting to sleep.

I feel like we can work towards him settling in his cot - we were so nearly there and he's always preferred to have a feed and then settle himself while drowsy, but at the moment he is too active to switch off without loads of help or being strapped in the buggy.

Not unusual when learning to walk and pull to standing.

I like the 'firm hand' method. The idea is in-cot settling with you bending into the cot. Put baby into cot awake (I'd use a dummy) and place your hand on their chest/back. Spread your hand wide so you cover a big area. Don't push down with your hand, but quality this isn't just gently caressing. You want baby to be able to feel the weight of your hand (so know you are still there) even wuth eyes closed and beginning to doze off.

The firm hand, as well as being reassuring, also reitterates the need to lie down and be still at sleep time. So any squirming, start a gentle pat with the hand until still again, then stop. If squirming to the point baby is fighting against you or distressed, lift your hand and lie baby back down - like starting again at bedtime - and do a full resettle. Eventually the firm hand should be the reminder to be still and calm at bedtime.

I would stay right through until asleep (then sneek out ninja style) and do the same at any wake ups. So having the cot (sides on the cot, mattress height at lowest setting) next to your bed helps. It means you can do this firm hand settling whilst lying on your bed and dozing yourself.

At 10 months is there any teething going on? My son's top front teeth came through about then and we had about 6 weeks of disrupted sleep before we worked out why - they are probably the worst of all the teeth.

Thank you all. Will implement all these suggestions. I do do the heavy hand, but he is very persistent about getting up on his feet and gets cross if he feels like he is being thwarted in this mission so it's a bit of a juggling act. I'm finding firm massage of his legs seems to chill him out and keep him flat sometimes.

(The window is floor to ceiling glass 8ft wide so that's a lot of tinfoil! Hence us not quite having sorted the blackout yet.)

He's already got 6 teeth. I did teething sleep hell a month or two back while my partner was away on tour for a month. Feels like a war of attrition...!

Can he hold his bottle himself? I'd fire one in to him and leave with no interaction till this phase passes. Drinking his bottle on his own in the dark will at least encourage him to destimulate and go back to sleep. Id say he'd quickly start reducing the bottles he asked for at night. I'd also start some very mild CIO. Such as not go to him for 5 mins to challenge him to resettle himself. And after taking care of his needs if he still starts up again letting him cry 10-15mins after he calls u back. You might be surprised how he changes his patterns himself when given a chance. 10mths is the cusp of understanding things so I always find it a challenging period (they do start waking and demanding interaction) but also a brilliant time to start letting them think a bit for themselves and starting to gently set boundaries. It's worked well for my very different 3 babies.

Oh one thing I have never done is stay in the room at all. They quickly understand that even if they get me in there I'll be all business to sort them out but then will leave. It helps them not start the expectation that I might hang around and avoid distress when I don't. Just my own personal thing that's always been important and has worked.

Mine woke even more frequently than that at 10 months. I don't think it's unusual for sleep to regress massively then, they do come through this though!

Cosleeping and constant nursing back to sleep worked for us. It seemed to be a lot about needing reassurance.

I heartily recommend the Baby Whisperer technique for that age: 'pick up, put down'. You need to read up on it and do it consistently - check the baby whisperer sleep forum. The forum is also very good on nap routines and what works. Waking every 90 min is classic baby sleep cycle - he need to learn to settle himself back when he half wakes every 90 mins. You can help him learn this.

Ah, @Quodlibet I feel your pain: had similar with my DD when she learned to roll over, when she learned to sit up on her own, and again when she learned to pull herself to standing. For her it was almost like muscle memory took over and she just repeated the new action all night, for weeks.

Sadly the only insight I can offer is 'This too shall pass'.