Should we stop him napping?

[Racheyg]

Desperate help needed.......
Info: Ds1 and ds2 share a room. Ds1 good sleeper and will fall asleep after story. Ds2 is a nightmare. He is in a bed as tried to throw himself out of it.

Anyway.....
Ds2 takes forever to go to sleep, we have to sit in the room on his bed to stop him from getting out. We go up to bed at 7.30 then stories. Lights out at 8.00. But we are still in the room till 9.00. I have no idea where to go from here. He just thrashed about. Till falling asleep.

He is more difficult when he is at nursery as he has a nap at home he doesn't really sleep.

Any advice will be greatly received

Age?

Oops sorry he is 2

How old is DC1? Could he cope with a later bedtime bedtime, after you settled DC2?

Does he have a comforter, like a special teddy or similar?

Dc1 will be 4 in July. He is pretty knackered as very active so by 8 he is ready for bed time.

Ds2 does have a dummy but no other comforter. He is just a little monkey, tries to wake his brother up and everything.

So I wouldn't cut his nap. If anything, he may be over-tired, rather than under tired.

But I would start getting strict. Treat his messing around as a behaviour issue and like any other unwelcome behaviour, be cross about it and have higher exoectayions expectations of his behaviour.

So your expectations should be that he lies in bed at bedtime, is still and is quiet. You can't make him go to sleep. But you can expect him to do nothing but lie there and be bored until he does go to sleep.

So i would make sure all needs are met by bedtime (toilet, drink, cuddles, etc). Then be very clear. Develop a mantra you repeat:

"It's sleep time now. We lie down quietly at bedtime. Nan night"

Be like a broken record. Be relentless, don't accept anything less than your high expectations. Utterly boring and consistent about it.

Oh, I forgot to day, don't sit by his bed.

Repeat mantra, tuck in bed, leave room, close door. Any issue (noise, out of bed) go back in and repeat. Over and over again.

It might be worth letting older brother have a few days of camping out in your room while you get over the worse.

Do you think he needs mummy , daddy time
I know that is probably off every theory and book but maybe he just needs special time
I work so I am not being critical and my twins are same. They nap but need it but they also need cuddles with mummy...

Thanks all. We are going to start on Monday as we are away at the weekend and will be hard to Implement. Wish me luck xx