Please help me.

[Introvertedbuthappy]

I have a 13 month old - he's never been a good sleeper. Ever. For the last few weeks he's got so much worse though. Previously he'd be up 3-5 times a night, up at half 5 but now he sleeps 8-11, then up every 20-60 minutes before getting up at 4:35. I'm trying controlled crying again out of desperation but I always end up giving up at 6 and getting him out of his cot. He then doesn't nap until half 10. He has two 45 minute naps a day, occasionally one 1hr15 nap a day (he sleeps better at night on one nap a day - but exhausting to be up from half 4 - 8 with only 1 nap. Please help - he's happy during the day, doesn't take milk in the night (I try out of desperation).

Ah, the sleep deprivation stage. It's awful isn't it?
Is he teething? Might some calpol help?
Otherwise, what's your controlled crying routine? (i.e. how long do you normally wait before going in etc?)
The only comfort I can offer is that it does get better! It's just so shit when you're going through it :/

Thanks for replying. Calpol doesn't do anything so I don't think it's teething. I have only tried CC this morning. It hasn't worked - as expected he's just wide awake anyway and I'm sat here sobbing because I'm so fucking tired. I started at 2, 4, 6, 8 minutes then was going in every 10. Every time he was up walking around the cot or shouting.

I know it gets better as my 8 year old sleeps now, but didn't until aged 3 and was 4 before it was consistent. Not sure I can do another 2 years of 4 hours of sleep a night. I'm starting to make mistakes at work too (luckily don't work today and tomorrow so not as bad, but work days are a killer).
I just want to die I'm so tired. 6 hours every other night and 3 hours broken sleep every other night isn't enough.

Anybody?

How would you feel about sitting with him every time he wakes up and helping him go back to sleep.

Initially it would need lots of reassurance and attention from you. I would bend over into the cot. Firm hand on his chest/back. Stroking, shushing, patting. Staying right there with the in-cot physical touch all the way until completely asleep.

It might be an ideal to bring his cot into your bedroom for this, so you can at least do it while lying in your bed.

Thanks FATE. Usually in the night it's a waiting game and lots of cuddles, rocking etc to get him tired enough to sleep again - he goes to sleep by himself but only when tired enough, otherwise he's charging around his cot shouting or clapping or basically anything awake-like. It's like he wants to be up for the day from about midnight. He's then up for the day at half 4 - I gave up and got him up at 6 this morning and he only went for a nap at 11 so it's like he just doesn't need sleep - I do though! DH and i take the nights in turn but it's not enough.
I will try not getting him out of his cot though and reassuring him there though, he might be finding it stimulating to be out (although he doesn't like being discouraged from his midnight rampaging round the cot).

There's so many different ways to do this but personally I found controlled crying worked best if I did it at the start of the night. Once they've had some sleep it's much harder. My daughter went through a phase around 13 months of waking early so that could be another factor (also the very light mornings just now, although that doesnt explain your 11pm waking!).
Anyway, I'd not be too despondent about cc not working early in the morning and focus on it at bedtime or on the first waking when he's going to be more tired. Good luck.

In your shoes before CC I would attempt to disturb his natural sleep pattern - so you say he wakes at 11pm, I would be waking him myself at 10.45 (gently) and he should be in a deep sleep phase then. There is science behind it - sort of like how your alarm goes off during a deep cycle and then makes you more sleepy

Try it tonight!

Also look at his poop cycle? Is he having poop pains? You can alter poop cycles by giving him an Ella's kitchen pouch of fruit - about fiveish in your case then by bed he should have pooped.

Desperate times call for desperate measures! I tried all sorts!!!