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Sleep

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Original poster

Would it be wrong to put a lock on the outside of my kids room to keep him in?

39 replies

TheBlonde · 12/03/2007 19:53

I'm having a toddler sleeping nightmare and he just won't self settle in bed
Even staying with him doesn't ensure success

Unfortunately he can open the door and escape from his room
I'm thinking of putting a lock on it to prevent this

Opinions?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

eviletc · 12/03/2007 19:54

would a stairgate work?

CAM · 12/03/2007 19:54

Please don't

percypig · 12/03/2007 19:55

My friend got a bungee cord and attached it from outside of her son's door handle to another door. This stopped him getting out but wasn't as permanent as a lock.

funnypeculiar · 12/03/2007 19:55

I wouldn't personally.
Could you use a stairgate instead?

ScummyMummy · 12/03/2007 19:55

Have you tried that rapid return thing?

Gobbledigook · 12/03/2007 19:55

Hmm, I don't think I would. He might feel scared with the door locked shut. Could you not put a stair gate on for a while? I think we did this with ds1 but we only needed to use it for a short time before he got used to just staying in bed.

ScummyMummy · 12/03/2007 19:56

Or a stair gate, as others have said?

littlelapin · 12/03/2007 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

TheBlonde · 12/03/2007 19:57

There is a stairgate at the top of the stairs but he just stands there and wails

What is this rapid return thing?

OP posts:

Greensleeves · 12/03/2007 19:57

Hmm, I can see why you would want to, but how would you like to be locked in at night? What if he has a really traumatic night terror and it doesn't wake you up? I wouldn't. It might be worth putting outside locks on other doors like the bathroom, and a stairgate at the top of the stairs? I don't know what your house is like, but I don't like the idea of my toddler wandering around on his own either so I've got a stairgate on the top landing.

Greensleeves · 12/03/2007 19:57

Oh, sorry, you've got a stairgate

hillary · 12/03/2007 19:59

So dangerous, we all feel like locking the little tigers in sometimes but you cant .. what if there was a fire?

My dd comes out of her room too so I put a stair gate up. worked like magic.

hillary · 12/03/2007 20:00

cant you just make sure the rest of the house is child friendly?

Original poster

TheBlonde · 12/03/2007 20:00

Sorry I just don't get the fire issue - I'm talking a bolt like on a bathroom not something with a key

OP posts:

littlerach · 12/03/2007 20:02

I couldn't do this in case of a fire or other emergency when they couldn't get out o fhteir rooms. too scarey.

colditz · 12/03/2007 20:02

Do you mean at night before he goes to bed?

Stand and hold the door shut if you want him to settle without your being there. Does he want a night light? Does he have books in bed?

redbracelet · 12/03/2007 20:04

Yes its very wrong, try za stairgate on the bedroom door or put him back in a cot if its causing that much stress

Boco · 12/03/2007 20:05

My neice has a really awful fear of being in a room with a closed door since being locked in ONCE. She goes crazy when a door is closed, like real claustrophobia. I think it can be scary, and it'd be better to find another way of getting him to stay in his room.

With rapid return, you just take him by the hand and put him in bed, without making eye contact or engaging him in conversation. You cover him up, and leave. You do it as many times as it takes until he's asleep - could be 100 times. The next night you do the same - and the next. It can be slow, but he learns that the same thing happens each time, with no different reaction from you - and eventually getting up is too boring...or something like that

DimpledThighs · 12/03/2007 20:06

don't do it.

it seems so wrong.

zippitippitoes · 12/03/2007 20:07

if you lock him up he will stand next to the door and wail he'll just be in a different place

hillary · 12/03/2007 20:07

You cant bolt a toddler in a room, in a fire all doors get hot and you wouldnt even be able to open a metal bolt.

Original poster

TheBlonde · 12/03/2007 20:07

It's not possible to fit a stairgate on the door unfortunately

Boco - Thanks for the rapid return explanation. Will try it

Going back to a cot isn't an option as the new baby is due any day

OP posts:

redbracelet · 12/03/2007 20:09

what if you forget to unlock it? or go to bed leaving it locked for whatever reason? Theres a fire and the bolt gets stuck.......

Or, you can hear choking over the monitor or through the door or whatever,the extra 2/3 seconds it will take you to unlock the bolt could make all the difference.

LadyTophamHatt · 12/03/2007 20:09

take the handle off the door and swap them around so that you have to push it up to open the dooor.

make sure he doesn't see you doing it and hopfully he'll give up trying.

I wouldn't put a lock on it.

ScummyMummy · 12/03/2007 20:09

It's a technique that the Little Angels programme uses. Basically you have a nice windy downy bed time routine- bath, story etc. Then you tuck him in with fanfare- kiss "night night gorgeous boy" etc. When he gets up take him back and say "night night bedtime". Tuck in. Next time just say "bedtime" and return him to bed. Then everytime he gets up subsequently, calmly return him to bed without saying anything, and ignoring any sqwarking/talking/crying. (The reasoning is that this is bad tantrummy behaviour and you ignore it as you would any other bad tantrummy behaviour and don't get distracted just bacause it happens to show itself at bedtime.) He will need to be returned to bed a LOT of times the first night and perhaps the 2nd and 3rd- allow at least a few hours, psych yourelf up to be super calm and preferably get someone to help you- but if you can stay calm and see it through it really seems to yield dramatic results.

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