8week old baby will not sleep. Ever. Any advice?

[CatAnnoyance]

Our baby is 8 weeks old and up until two weeks ago she was sleeping really well, good naps throughout the day and going down for the night at 10pm, often sleeping though until 9am, or waking for one feed around 3am then going straight back down.

These last two weeks she has been actively evading sleep, at all times day and night. It's nigh on impossible to get her to have a decent nap during the day now unless she's in the Caboo. Everything else is just ten minutes here and there, but then she wakes again. And at night, oh my god it's turned into a battle. She won't go down, once we've battled for hours to actually get her down she won't stay down longer than an hour, then the whole battle starts again. She just lies in her Moses basket grunting and wildly kicking, eventually getting so worked up that she cries.

She sleeps in a Moses basket next to our bed, and she sleeps in a Gro-Snug so is kind of swaddled in that.

There has been no change to our routines or her feeding, she's exclusively breastfed.

We've tried everything, warming her Moses basket a bit so the difference in temperatures doesn't disturb her, she gets winded regularly after each feed and she's on regular Infacol and gripe water, I've tried transferring her straight from the Caboo to the basket when she's is a deep sleep, but she wakes up after about 10 minutes of being in there. I've tried sleeping in her nursery and putting her down in her cot, but the same thing happens.

Is this just a phase/growth spurt, or is it something I am doing wrong? I'm going insane through lack of sleep.

Not sure what I am asking really, suppose it's just advice I need in case I am doing something glaringly wrong!!

Have you tried a dummy?

Have you tried safe cosleeping?

How about daytime naps in something that allows for rhythmic movement - bouncy chair, pushchair, rocker

Or just accept naps in the caboo baby carrier and make then regular, long and frequent.

How about giving her a few drops of organic peppermint tea?

Use a calpol dispenser- it will really soothe her tummy and I know other countries use teas to ease wind but here it's very commercialised and you have to buy 'medication' with E numbers in etc

Thanks for the advice!

Yeah she already uses a dummy and most of the night is spent putting it in her mouth, her relaxing for five minutes then spitting it out, then starting to whimper, then us putting the dummy back, then her relaxing again.... and so on.

The Caboo really is a god send, the problem is I need to nap when she naps as I'm not sleeping through the night, so can't sleep with her in the Caboo. Not tried co-sleeping yet. I've had her on the bed with me in a morning when my partner has left for work but she's the same, kicking and thrashing about and won't settle. So not sure co-sleeping would be a solution either.

I'm really hoping this is one of those developmental leaps that people mention, and she's just unsettled and fussy and will settle back down soon. Hopefully before I go mad from sleep deprivation!

Thanks again for the advice.

Do you use a sleep app? We found the white noise ambient apps really useful for helping our second baby to soothe and settle during wide awake nighttimes. Worth a try!

My little one shifted from the new born sleeping almost constantly except feeds to proper napping at around the same age and it was really hard! I couldn't work out how to make him nap. Eventually Getting daytime naps sorted helped us enormously at night as stopped him being over tired. We let him sleep outside in the buggy in a secure garden (with me sitting nervously next to the window) and it worked like a dream for us. He would grumble a bit then sleep very soundly. You have my heartfelt sympathies, and I wish I could offer something more constructive than that. You will work out what works for you (can HV suggest anything else?). get the daytime sorted and the night's will follow. Good luck x

If she's only comfy upright (in the sling) then could it be reflux? Mine is not at all happy to lie down when it's at its worst.

If you need a daytime nap, feed to sleep lying in your bed and then you can both nap there. Don't try to move her!

I'd also recommend feeding lying down and co-sleeping as a way to get the most sleep overnight. It's not for everybody but I'm so much more rested co-sleeping from the start with DS (now 14 weeks) than battling to get DD to sleep like I used to.

Are you feeding to sleep?

Thanks guys, yeah I've been trying to feed to sleep.... she dozes off on me so I give it 20 mins or so to make sure she's asleep and not just dozing/having a feeding break, then make the transfer. No matter where I transfer her to, she only lasts there about 10-20 mins then wakes up fussing. Not crying, just fussy, grunting and kicking and flailing her arms wildly. She feeds regularly throughout the night too and the same happens.

Had another night the same last night. The longest block of sleep she had was an hour

I do the usual checklist... change nappy, try and wind her, feed her, but nothing makes a difference she just won't settle back down to sleep. She's just wide awake so it's like an impossible task to get her to drop off when she's so alert!!

Our daughter was like this and it was reflux. I recommend propping her Moses basket up at the head end on a couple of books to start with to see if that helps. Your dd's behaviour sounds much like ours did with all the grunting that even when she was asleep grunting we couldn't sleep anyway.

Also try some decent anti colic bottles like dr Martin or Mam, we used the mam ones and they were brilliant and so easy to clean as well as self sterilising in the microwave.

We did have to use medication in the end. But hers was quite bad.

Hope some of the suggestions help and you manage to get some rest soon xx

Definitely get checked for reflux and if it's not that you need to stop feeding to sleep. If you can feed, wind then put the baby down and do shush pat you will get a much better nap.

I think it will get better (not much help now I know!), because it sounds as if she's keen to get at the world, but can't do much at all yet. Once she's rolling and trying to crawl she'll wear herself out a lot more and sleep better I reckon. I remember regularly finding my DS had nodded off after moving about a foot across the carpet on his tummy :-D.
Worth checking reflux, and could you sleep in the day with her in the taboos, by sitting maybe in the corner of a sofa, legs up with enough cushions to support you and your head? I know you'd rather get a proper lie down rest, but you might have to work around her thru this phase.

Caboo, not 'taboos'!

How about baby massage before a nap? I was going to suggest swaddling but if she's already in the gro-bag...

Yeah she already uses a dummy and most of the night is spent putting it in her mouth, her relaxing for five minutes then spitting it out, then starting to whimper, then us putting the dummy back, then her relaxing again.... and so on.

She's not getting into a deep sleep. You need to help her by holding the dummy in for her until.in a deep sleep. Or position her head such that gravity keep a the dummy in.

The way a dummy works is that baby comfort sucks from awake to drowsy. At drowsy baby's muscles relax and this includes the jaw/mouth muscles that hold dummy in.

Then from drowsy, baby will do occassional "flutter sucks" as they go from drowsy into a deep sleep. Once in a deep sleep all muscles will be relaxed and floppy, so the dummy is no longer needed or help in, so drops out.

Sounds like your DDs dummy is not being held in through the drowsy stage. At this point it isn't being actively gripped on the mouth, so comes out easily. But the dummy is still needed for flutter sucks until in a deep sleep. So if dummy comes out, because this is a light sleeping phase, baby will fully wake up and you start again.

The key is to help baby keep dummy in until into a deep sleep. Ways this usually works:

● Time. As baby gets older, their mouth bigger and muscles stronger, the dummy will stay in better.until then...
● position baby's head flat and facing straight upwards, so gravity keeps it in. If you have a baby who likes their head to the side, this can be annoying with a dummy, so...
● gently hold the outside of the dummy, or watch baby as they go to sleep so you can be right there to push dummy back in if it starts to slip.
● Once in a deep sleep (when baby is floppy), dummy is meant to come out. Getting from drowsy to deep sleep can be anything from 1 minute to half an hour. It is usually around 5-10 minutes in my experience though.
● Then when baby next stirs out of a deep sleep and into a light sleep, dummy reinsertion and a bit of movement (if I'm in bouncer or pushchair during the day) can often lull baby back to sleep, if you respond before baby wakes from the light sleeping phase

DD2 was like this- I think she had reflux, though it passed after a few months without treatment. Can you sleep with her on you whilst you are propped up? Just make sure yo can't accidentally smother her. One of us had to do this for weeks. Then we moved to co sleeping properly.

It is tough! Hope it improves.