Taking all afternoon to get baby to take an afternoon nap!! Help!

[Rugby01]

Hi! I have a 4.5 month baby who i can't get to take an afternoon nap. I will spend three hours trying to make it happen and then give up and then I'm frustrated as I feel I could have been doing something better with him, and he's over tired, and then we end up putting him to bed at 5.30 - 6pm as he's so tired! He naps ok in the morning and is good at night, going from 6pm -3am ish. But the afternoons are driving me mad! I worry he'll get a flat head lying in the cot for two-three hours as I try to get him to sleep (unsuccessfully). He is definitely tired in the afternoons and will fall asleep in my shoulder or whilst feeding, but two mins after I put him down in the cot he wakes up again. He ONLY does this in the afternoon. I tried a mobile above him but it just stimulates him rather than soothing him to sleep. Please help me! I'm going mad! It's such a waste of three -four hours every day and I get so frustrated as I am sure I should be doing other things with him like reading, playing etc. Thanks!

If he sleeps well in his cot at night I'd go with the flow with naps.

It will soon be summer. Having a baby who is happy to sleep in his pram means you can go out and about and enjoy the sunshine. Positive spin!

Also forget rods and backs and spoiling them and all that bollocks. It's impossible to spoil a 4 month old.

Reading this with interest! Rugby I am having very similar issues with day naps but nights are generally okay. I ended yesterday feeling guilty and teary that DD hadn't had a longer nap than 30 minutes (on boob) as she also just pings awake when put down, irrespective of technique and preamble.

But this morning I feel like the guilt and worry can just naff off. I love DD to bits and I'm sure we'll crack the day sleep at some point. Until then I am resolving not to let my worry ruin my precious, fleeting days with her as a teeny. I really hope you make some progress but it is so patently clear that you are a fab, loving, conscientious mother. So please stop feeling guilty!!

When you say he fell asleep on the boob several times, will he not stay asleep on the boob if you hold him? One of the benefits of breastfeeding is that you've usually got boobs to get them to sleep easily (although obviously not all babies are the same).
I really wouldn't stress over trying to get him to sleep in the cot because 'that's what the book says'.
Let him sleep on you, it won't be forever, in a few more months, you'll probably be able to feed him to sleep then lie him down and he'll stay asleep.

If he sleeps on you, it can be easier to go out as you can go to friends, etc and let him have a nap on you. Also, if he'll sleep in pram too that gives you a bit more flexibility.

I know a few babies who only slept in their cots and it was very restricting as their mums had to keep getting back home for nap times.

Sorry, I've skimmed the thread but read your posts.

I don't really understand why you're doing this. Let him have his morning nap, and then just go out in the car, or go for a walk. You really really can't control their sleep.

Actually... I take it back. I do get it, I was like this with my first. With my second I swore i wouldn't put myself through the stress of trying to get baby to nap. Youngest NEVER slept in his cot during the day, he's just dropped his nap at 3. He had to fit around the school run, hospital appointments, after school stuff etc. Tbh, I just let him get on with it.

He might just need his morning nap pushing back. One of mine had an hour nap at about 12. Another had 5 x 40min naps a day. This last one slept whenever and he's been the easiest of all.

I'd stop trying to make him sleep, just do something with him, and if he sleeps, then he sleeps.

The absolute best advice I could give would be to stop worrying. Most babies will sleep when they're ready.

Thanks everyone. It's so hard to know what advice /books to take on board and what not to. I resolve from now on to not worry about routines or naps and to just let it happen. He'll let me know if he's unhappy. And yes he sleeps pretty well at night so I'll let things be. Thanks again!

How about making a routine for yourself? I found it really helped to have a fixed routine that the youngest had to fit around (school run and dog walk). Could you do something like that? Walk at the same time each day maybe?

Sounds like a good plan. Stick with whatever is working for the overnight sleep and just let everything else slide.

:)