Taking all afternoon to get baby to take an afternoon nap!! Help!

[Rugby01]

Hi! I have a 4.5 month baby who i can't get to take an afternoon nap. I will spend three hours trying to make it happen and then give up and then I'm frustrated as I feel I could have been doing something better with him, and he's over tired, and then we end up putting him to bed at 5.30 - 6pm as he's so tired! He naps ok in the morning and is good at night, going from 6pm -3am ish. But the afternoons are driving me mad! I worry he'll get a flat head lying in the cot for two-three hours as I try to get him to sleep (unsuccessfully). He is definitely tired in the afternoons and will fall asleep in my shoulder or whilst feeding, but two mins after I put him down in the cot he wakes up again. He ONLY does this in the afternoon. I tried a mobile above him but it just stimulates him rather than soothing him to sleep. Please help me! I'm going mad! It's such a waste of three -four hours every day and I get so frustrated as I am sure I should be doing other things with him like reading, playing etc. Thanks!

The most liberating thing I found when mine were that age was when my mum said "You do know naps are not compulsory, don't you? They are supposed to be relaxing , not end up with both of you crying your bloomin' eyes out."

After that conversation (on a reeeeeeeeeeeeally bad day!) I went with the flow a bit more.

Mine napped on me - and only on me - for the first six months. It's very normal for babies to wake up once they're put down. The fact that he does fall asleep quickly on your shoulder or while feeding in the afternoon means he does need the nap. Just let him sleep in your arms, I know it's a bit restricting but I promise it won't last forever.

If he's a happy baby and he sleeps at night then you're not going too far wrong I'd say!

Thanks Betty and Pottering!!

And to think some OHs would see Mat leave as a holiday! Ha!

Mat leave as a holiday??? If you tell me where I can log on AND OFF of the baby, then yeah, it's just like a holiday

Thanks Betty. I feel your pain! And as you say at least I only have one to contend with!

My second dd just nap when she wanys and pretty much where she wants - although not in sling now too heavy. It's much less stressful than my schedule with first dd. Both take all naps in car or pram. Put in cot sometimes but hardly ever. Whatever works for you. It's a hard age for sleep 4 to 6 months

My 4.5m DS is a terrible day AND night sleeper (as was his brother - I often wonder what I did to deserve THAT) At the moment he has 4 x 30-45 minutes naps, with usually just over 1.5hrs in between. I figure at the moment it's more about him having regular bits of sleep than how he goes to sleep!

My DS sleeps beautifully at night - 8 till at least 7. I've managed to get him to take a morning nap in his bed and he'll sleep for about an hour. Afternoons are a whole different ball game!! He'll nap in his bed for about 45 minutes then wakes up and will not go back to sleep (and I will not stand there by his bed rubbing his tummy or shush pat whiles he's screaming and sobbing). He comes downstairs where he proceeds to be a moody arsehole because he's woken too soon and then he'll have another hour on me. I have no idea why afternoons are such a battle but they are!

I've given in and save my tv till then. Or make sure I have a PS4 controller or a book. I look forward to the day when naps aren't needed!!

The afternoon nap is by far the hardest and is the first to be dropped.
My baby self settled in her cot for morning, LTN and night time but her afternoon nap was in the buggy every day.
It will be gone by 6 - 7 months so definitely don't worry about creating a bad habit. Just whack on your trainers and go for a 30 min stroll

Does it go that soon? DS is seven and a half months and still has it though it is shorter than it used to be. It's weird, weekends I'm really not fussed as OH is here and we just wing it. We're often out so he snoozes as and when then. Yet in the week when it's me and DS I end up overthinking it every time!

I love that - naps aren't compulsory. I am going to remember that!

Yes it does assuming you are doing a short morning nap, a long lunchtime nap and a 7pm bedtime

He gets up about 7 and is snoozing by half 9 for about 45 minutes. He'll then have another nap at about 11 for an hour - like a split shift lol. He has lunch at about half 12 and wants a nap about three to four. Bed time is about 8 but think we'll probably move that back when I'm back at work.

Right I'll try and nail a longer lunch time nap then. If a seven bed time then how long a lunch time nap and about what times?

A baby who his to sleep at 6pm sounds grass great to me. My daughter did exactly this. Is it that he then gets up at 4am?

fruity
You'd be looking at morning nap 9 - 9.45
Then LTN 12-2.30
Bedtime 6.30

Or
Morning nap 9.30 - 10.15
LTN 12.45 - 3
Bedtime 7

Ok. We're about that at the moment (the second one) except an hour later. He has two morning naps at the moment, ill look to holding off the second one.

Until 6 months my DS would only nap in the buggy (not even outside as it was too noisy - only indoors, being rocked back and forth!). He dropped the third nap at 6 months and just suddenly started sleeping in his cot twice a day no fuss. Still the same at a year old.

I read with wonderment at the naps that last for over 40 minutes! He's only fine that twice and that was after the jabs. But I guess all babies are different!

Naps that last longer than 40 mins are developmental. But you can help by putting baby down at the right time and not rocking or feeding to sleep

lapinrose - do you mean that naps longer than 40mins help the baby develop? If so, than I am really worried as my baby won't nap for longer than that - as I said in the original post I can't get him to nap at all in the afternoons and certainly only through feeding or rocking. So I am worried. If you have any tips on how to get my baby to nap without help and especially in the afternoon, and for longer than 40 mins, please let me know!

Incidentally, we were out and about today so baby had to nap in car/buggy whenever it suited us, so he got a good three hours or so of napping. Despite this, he still took an hour or so to settle and go to sleep tonight so I am not convinced that naps in the day make it any easier for our bedtime routine anyway. Perhaps baby's bedtime us just later than I thought...or it's shifting.

lapinrose - sorry just read where you said a buggy walk is best for afternoon naps. Still, do let me know what you do to get longer naps. I worry that mine only does 40 mins or so especially when helped to sleep with feeding or rocking.

do you mean that naps longer than 40mins help the baby develop

No, she just meant they're a developmental stage - as in baby will sleep longer than 40 minutes when they're ready to do so. Nothing to worry about.

Have you tried loud white noise incidentally? That worked for my baby. Still use it now and he's 13 months!