Tips on moving a 10 month old Breastfed baby to own cot/room!

[Katd31]

Hello

I am looking for any advice on how to move a 10 month old ebf baby into his own cot. We have co-slept from the beginning (not out of choice) but now he is at a stage where he is huge and sleeps horizontally and wakes several times for feeding during the night. DH sleeps permanently in the spare room as there is no room for him and he has to work so can't be woken up several times a night. i have always fed ds to sleep for naps or nightime wakings and am regretting not trying sleep training at a younger stage as i think he is a little bit more knowing now.
we are considering sleep training but i am not totally comfortable with it as i don't want him to be distressed.

any help or similar experiences would be much appreciated.

thanks!!

:)

Following with interest and exhaustion

How about making your cot into a sidecar, as a transition.

You can remove one side off most cots/cot beds quite easily. Then wedge the 3 sided cot up to your bed. It means you can teach baby to go to sleep in the cot, but still with you cuddling up. Then extract yourself afterwards.

Some tips for this:

If you fear baby can lean over the sides of the cot when the mattress is on the highest setting, lower the mattress base of the cot and use leg extenders to raise the height of the total cot.

Find a way to keep the cot wedges to your bed, they will jiggle apart with normal movements. Lash cot legs to bed casters/legs. Use huge bungie cords to encircle while cot mattress right around bed mattress. Large sheets tucked over cot mattress and bed mattress in one piece. Or just wedge the cot up to a wall, so it has less ability to move from the bed.

Another one following for advice....

Thank you Fatedestiny I will give this a try!

I just popped my dd into her own room, I go through and she wakes and feed her to sleep perched on the side of the cot bed. In hindsight I wish I'd popped her straight into a single bed so there was more room for this, but generally she didn't mind - I did keep other things constant though, like her music and books etc

Placemarking.
Similar situation here with my DD2. As with DD1 and DS, she's been ebf (although started nursery recently and will have formula in a cup in the afternoon), bf to sleep, co-sleeps in our bed.
The reason I did all this is that broadly this worked well with my other DC, was a peaceful way of us getting an evening and then some sleep. But now DD2 is terribly unsettled in the evenings and I'm spending 2-3 hours each evening bf on the bed BUT SHE WON'T LET ME LEAVE!!! I really can't spare this much time, it's beginning to make me really cross and resentful, although I know many will say I've brought it on myself with teaching her bad sleep habits. Even once we're all in bed she's not sleeping well and really disturbs me. Have no idea how to sort this. May try the turning cot into sidecar thing, might give us some relief, although won't solve the problem of not settling in the evenings.
Sorry for the rant, and hijack!

Am in exactly the same situation with DD. Side car cot didn't work at all as she just crawled back into bed! I found this thread while looking and think I'm going to try it as I know I couldn't do cc or cio.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/sleep/1394888-What-worked-for-us-Hope-this-helps

We are in the middle of doing this exact shift with our twins. They settled to sleep in their cots this evening and neither has disturbed us at all so far. We watched a film without interruption from start to finish! We used a sleep consultant, Ann Caird at Nurturing Sleep. She doesn't do any type of controlled crying or gradual retreat, and the whole process has been far more simple and less work than I imagined possible. It's cost us £50. There really is no need to leave your baby to cry (thank goodness).

Hello everyone and thank you for your replies! its also good to hear of others in the same boat :) wildflower... how did you get on last night with your twins? are they still waking frequently or sleeping through the night. we have considered a sleep consultant but didn't want to pay for something that didn't work. £50 seems fairly reasonable though. Did you find ann told you much more than what a hv has told you?

thanks again

:)

They woke once, at 2am. Usually they wake up when we go to bed, and then one or both of them at 2 and 4. DS was in his cot all night which is brilliant. DD came into bed with us at 2 as she was struggling to drop off again.

The advice we got from Ann was different to anything I have heard elsewhere. She listens to what you have to say and then takes a personalised approach to address your particular situation. Some of her suggestions to us were about meeting children's emotional needs through play and other things. Some of her suggestions were simple practical tweaks to our routine. I reckon the DTs will be ready to move into their own room before next weekend, which will mean the whole process has taken four weeks.

She charges £50 for a one hour phone consultation. I honestly couldn't imagine her sorting us out with just a one hour chat but she has.

Just to add, DD probably would have gone back into her cot if I'd tried once she fell asleep but I couldn't be bothered! And with the advice we've been given I didn't feel that I had to.

Thanks wildflower. I think we are going to try the link above. Will update to let you know how we get on and if that doesn't work then we will def be getting in touch with Ann the sleep consultant!

I am place marking for the sleep consultant. My 10 month old ff baby sleeps really well if she is next to me all the time but this is not going to practical to do when I am back at work.

Hello just to update you all... we tried the above link but it didn't work for us. I didn't feel comfortable with the crying. He was back in my bed last night and woke 3 x but twice I managed to hold off feeding back to sleep. He cried/moaned for 5/10 mins and then went back to sleep. So is this not self soothing? We are going to try getting him on his cot mattress on our floor and seeing how that goes and have got in touch with Ann the sleep consultant.

Kat - where does he start the night? I used to bf to sleep then put ds in his cot once asleep. Co slept after that once he woke up. He woke later and later then at about 12 months I started doing the gradual withdrawal but took months over it so we had no tears at all.

Both mine went into their own rooms before we stopped BF, at 6 weeks (early, i know but she snored!!) and 6 months and we weaned off the night feeds at 9 months for both. To wean off the feeds was really easy for me as DH just answered all the night wake ups once we decided we were doing it!! The theory being that if they saw him and not me they would get the idea that they were not being fed. It took 2 weeks each time and then they were sleeping through. As was I....!

Nottalotta he starts the night in our bed. i feed him to sleep on the bed and leave him there. i used to move him into the next to me but once he grew out of that he just stayed in the bed. this morning he napped on the cot mattress on the floor in our room and were going to try that tonight aswell...see how it goes. i think as you did we are going try a gradual transition

The biggest tool will be your DH. Close the milk bar between 7-7, do a bedtime routine in the order below

Milk
Pjs
Teeth
Gro bag
Book
Bed

Put in the cot and sit next to him, facing slightly away. Then just sit there. Every 5 minutes lay them back down, but continue no eye contact and no words.

For night wakings, ignore for 5 minutes, then repeat the above process.

Ds wouldn't have stayed on the bed at that age so was placed in his cot. That might be a good way to start?