BF 19 mo still night waking. Send help.

[birchwoods]

My 19 mo breastfed daughter has only slept through a handful of times and I'm now really struggling. She doesn't bf during the day but I feed her before bed (she sometimes feeds to sleep, other times she will go down awake and chat herself to sleep). I don't mind the bedtime feed but she's waking at least once in the night, but usually twice and sometimes more and only boob will settle her. A month or so ago we did a week of my DH settling her if she woke and it worked well, she settled more quickly for him as she knew she wasn't getting boob, but a cold and three molars put a stop to that and she now won't settle for him.
I feel ready to stop bfing (I have for a while) but she's still so reliant on it during the night. I'm so tired I can't function!

I should add, she's DC1, has a long nap (anything from1.5 to 3 hrs) at around 10am and has a bunny that she snuggles in bed and is quite attached to.

We're in the same situation (mine is 21 months). What had made a big change is moving her bedtime feed so she's not falling asleep at the boob, I rouse her, put her into bed (bed not cot as she hated the cot) then read her a story in bed, turn the lights out and continue to talk about the day very calmly and she drops off. This has stopped her waking up for feeds so much, she usually wakes once though and as you say with teething etc can be more.

I don't want to give up the night feeds yet though as she's cmpa and it's the only calcium/fat she consistently gets right now.

Oh I'd cut that nap though, mines a terror if I let her sleep more than an hour and a half and never after 2.30

Have you looked at the Dr Jay Gordon nightweaning plan? I didn't follow it exactly when we did it with DD at 17/18 months but it gave me a good idea of how I could work it for us.

If you're ready to stop BFing, then stop cold turkey. She'll be furious for two or three nights then she'll be over it and she won't wake for it any more. You'll probably get 40-90mins of rage at each waking on the first couple of nights, but just stay with her - or better, get your DH to stay with her - and you'll know she's upset just because you're withholding boob, not because she's been left alone or uncomforted.

'Gentle' night weaning is a myth, IMO. It can't be done without considerable grief, but if you're ready to stop then just grit your teeth and do it.

Oh, and the nap's too early. Don't drop it - she's too young, but do try and push it to start at around 12, and last for no more than 2 hours. If it starts at 10am, it's effectively part of her 'night' sleep. If she's awake for the day pre-6am, it's probably the 10am nap that's causing it as she's just making up the difference slightly later in the morning.

Thanks for your replies everyone. Sorry, I lost the post and didn't get any notifications!
I'll see about moving her nap later. She naps after lunch in nursery (once a week) usually but they say she sometimes too tired before lunch. She usually doesn't wake up ridiculously early, it used to be around 6.30/7 but varies at the moment, I assume because of teeth.
I was afraid that would be the case re having to deal with an hysterical child for a period of time, I can't bare it, she's gets so worked up if I withhold boob. I will enlist DH and we just have to tackle it.

Our 23 month old still feeds a lot. I know the gentle weaning, Jay Gordon style method is the only way I'd try and that it has worked for others but I also know DC isn't ready yet. Something I've noticed is that no nap doesn't necessarily help - in fact almost the opposite for us at the moment.

I was exactly the same as you. One night I decided to see to what would happen if I didn't offer the breast. Within 5 minutes he was asleep. The next night was a different story; took 45 minutes to settle him to sleep but because he fell asleep so easily the night before I persevered as I knew he didn't need it. After a couple of days he settled without it and the night waking droppednoff naturally.

I used to think he wouldn't give it up and felt trapped; I can't believe how easily I weaned him. Personally I wouldn't let them have anything over an hour for a nap either.