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Original poster

When is the best time to get rid of dummy - and how?

31 replies

EmW1987 · 28/02/2017 11:16

Hey,
My dd is 16 weeks and uses a dummy for naps and to sleep at night. Despite being anti dummy I caved in as she had reflux and the sucking helped. Reflux now seems under control but the dummy has remained.
I won't use it during the day, other than for naps. But I'm debating when the best time to get rid of it is? It definitely helps settle her and I can see her eyes shut as she sucks on it but I know it's only a matter of time before we are getting up to plug it back in and to be honest we are already doing it a few times a night. It seems we either need to get rid of it soonish or wait it out.
I dont want to replace it with any other sleep prop i.e. Feeding to sleep but know that it's going to be a be a battle and CIO isn't an option for me. I'd be interested to hear how others have got rid of the dummy and when worked for them?

OP posts:

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FATEdestiny · 28/02/2017 12:12

It is against SIDS advice to remove the dummy in the first year. Dummies used as part of regular sleep routines lower the risk of SIDS.

Jackiebrambles · 28/02/2017 12:15

No way would I get rid of it soon!
Yes there may be a period of time where you have to plug it back in for her. But this is short until she figures out how to find it herself.

My DD is 20 months and has a dummy.. She has about 5 dummies in her cot so she always finds one! She sleeps brilliantly so there's no way I'm messing with that!

My son had a dummy til he was just 3. Got rid easily and he understood and it was all fine.

FATEdestiny · 28/02/2017 12:55

I dont want to replace it with any other sleep prop

Nothing at all?

In that case you want to wait until about school age. Until then, studies have shown children's brains do not have the emotional capacity to sleep without comfort in some form. By school age (so aged 4-5) children grow out of this and can sleep like an adult would (tired > close eyes > relax > sleep).

Until then, if you want to get rid of the dummy you'll need to replicate that comfort from sucking. This might be a comforter toy when older, or cosleeping. Or rocking to sleep when younger. There are loads of weird and wonderful ways children develop to self-comfort. Fact remains they need that comfort.

IMO the dummy is the simplest and easiest of self-soothing methods. Yes, it needs help to while baby cannot coordinate her movements herself. But so would every other comforting mechanism for a baby.

If you want to stop using the dummy at 12 months (recommended age according to SIDS, but this is the age dummies really come into their own as a slerp tool) then I'd suggest you start establishing a comforter toy/blanket now. It is unlikely to be useful yet, but might be when older and could be attached-to well enough to replace dummy

HeyRoly · 28/02/2017 13:01

I let my children keep theirs until they were happy to give it up. Basically I didn't feel like I could deny them the comfort it gave when they were tired, grumpy, teething or ill.

It got to a stage with DD around 2.5 that she could have it at nap/bedtimes only. Then, just after 3, I realised that we handed the dummy over at bedtime and she never actually asked for it. So we tried not handing it over... and that was that!

And believe me, she was a difficult child in lots of ways, and I was expecting the dummy to be one more massive fight! But, thankfully it wasn't. Hoping for the same with DC2, who isn't yet two.

JustSpeakSense · 28/02/2017 13:10

At one year old I started only letting them have their dummies in the cots, only for sleep. Very firm rule that the dummy never left the cot.

At around 2 or 2 1/2 (when they were old enough to understand) I concocted an elaborate story about the new baby birds in the garden needing dummies, we wrapped the dummies up in a parcel and left them
On the front doorstep (DH was hiding in bushes!) the doorbell then rang and (to great excitement!) a special present was left as a thank you from the 'mummy & daddy bird'
(The present was a cuddly teddy that they took to bed with them) this worked a treat with both my kids.

They are 13 & 15 now...if only it was so easy to pull the wool over their eyes

Jackiebrambles · 28/02/2017 13:13

Just I love that your DH was hiding in the bushes! So sweet that really made me smile.

Astro55 · 28/02/2017 13:14

DD1 threw hers away at 2 as it was for babies
DS lost his last one - and the shops were all closed 18 months

DD2 - banged her mouth and couldn't have a dummy - 2 years

There are ways and means!

Astro55 · 28/02/2017 13:15

Oh and it helped that they all have a favorite blanket to sleep with - so I supposed it didn't replace the dummy but it was still there.

They all woke up once or twice - but we reminded them it was lost or big girl etc and they accepted it - and we all slept much better without lost dums in bed

ineedwine99 · 28/02/2017 13:17

My baby gave it up at night on her own, she has white noise of for bed and a small muslin square which we remove from her when we go to bed. During the day still has the dummy for naps/when a bit under the weather. She's nearly 7 months, hoping she'll give it up herself like she did at night

wishcarry · 28/02/2017 13:25

When dd was one and a half she kept biting the teats of her dummy.so I just showed her the broken dummies told her that were broken and has to go in the bin.she asked for her dummy a few times over the next few days,but I just kept telling her they were broken and she accepted it.

GlitteryFluff · 28/02/2017 14:24

DS is 2.5 and last week I snipped the end of his dummy, gave it to him and he sucked it then looked at me like wtf?! Told him it was broken, we threw it in the bin together and he hasn't asked for it since
HOWEVER the fucker doesn't sleep now so I'm regretting getting rid of it.

Your baby is too young, I agree re he SIDS advice. Wait a while before removing it.

Rozdeek · 28/02/2017 14:26

Way too early to get rid of it IMO - IIRC the SIDS guidance above is correct.

My one year old still has his for sleeps and I don't plan on getting rid anytime soon.

Sunshinegirl82 · 28/02/2017 17:48

According to the Lullaby Trust guidance a dummy can be gently withdrawn between 6 and 12 months so according to that guidance you would be safe to think about withdrawing it after 6 months if you wanted to.

Sunshinegirl82 · 28/02/2017 17:52

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/file/Fact-Sheet-Dummies.pdf

Original poster

EmW1987 · 01/03/2017 11:49

Thanks for all your responses - looks like I'll wait till she's a year and try then. If not I'll wait till she's a little older and I love the baby bird story!

OP posts:

fruityb · 01/03/2017 13:39

I really didn't want DS to have one and was incredibly anti dummy before he was born! And yet by two months he had one for sleeping. I am a total convert - when (if at the moment touch wood) he wakes in the night I just go put it in for him and he goes straight back off. Quite honestly I can take that! He has a comforter too which he seems to be developing quite an attachment to which is nice, and I have tried to make sure I give him this when he's snoozing so he makes that link, and hopefully when he's bigger we can leave him with that and remove the dummy. They'll stay in his cot as an above poster said and I'm sure to only give him it to sleep - he does get one in the car seat as a calmer as he bloody hates being in it but he spits it out after a couple of minutes anyway.

I didn't know the SIDS guidance - that's good to know.

Stitchosaurus · 01/03/2017 13:46

DS had his for naps and bedtime until he was 3, then he gave it to the dummy fairy for a pack of cars and never asked for it again! That dummy was bloody brilliant and I still have it in a drawer years it later (I know that's weird!)

PersisFord · 01/03/2017 14:49

Dummy fairies came here - we collected all the dummies and left them out with a biscuit and some milk. In the morning....2 new bikes!! They were 2.5 ish

blackcherries · 01/03/2017 14:52

I have been keeping new toys ready to bribe my 2 year old to give it up but can't face it just yet, he's more attached to it than ever even though he's only meant to have it for sleep. WIBU to wait until he's a bit older, like 2.5?
Meant to stop dummy use around 1 but he was so teethy/ill on and off between 1 and 2 and it really really helped, so it felt quite cruel to take it away then.

CreamCrackerundertheSettee · 01/03/2017 14:58

I was v reluctant to give my dd a dummy but she loved it. At 3ish we did the dummy fairy swap for a bike, all was well for 1 week until she discovered her thumb. In hindsight I'd rather she had kept the dummy for longer as she is now 8 and still sucks he thumb.

MrsPringles · 01/03/2017 15:04

My DS is 2.5 and I'm in the same pickle about trying to wean him off it.

I'm now starting to be strict about only having it at naptime and bedtime, not sure whether to go down the dummy fairy route or just cold turkey next. He has a couple of comfort objects so he will still have things to take to bed, I feel bad but I know it's for his own good

Karmaisabitch · 01/03/2017 15:10

My ex bf at 18 sucked his thumb, slapped his hand EVERYTIME I saw it in his mouth....within a good 3 months he was out of the habit, even adults can learn!

Hatemylifenow · 01/03/2017 15:14

I feel bad but I know it's for his own good

Not really, the dummy's only an issue for speech/teeth if they have it all the time during the day.

For naps and bedtime only they can have it as long as they want with no adverse effects.

Original poster

EmW1987 · 08/03/2017 08:08

Hi everyone,
I'm now wondering if any of you have any advice regarding the dummy runs? For the past 5 days we've been getting up at least every 2 hours through the night to replace it. I then have to wait until she's fallen asleep deep enough to stop her trying to take it out (and then crying because she does actually want it) or when it falls out and the notion of it falling out wakes her. How did you all survive this? I'm getting tops an hours sleep in between each dummy run and I can't function on that!
Any tips will be massively appreciated!!

OP posts:

GlitteryFluff · 08/03/2017 08:13

Is she in a cot? Use bumpers in the cot (well not bumpers the air wrap ones that are safe) so dummy can't fall out of bed. Fill bed with a zillion dummies, preferably ones that glow in dark.
It won't be long and she'll be able to find one herself and put it back in. Maybe not in the next few weeks but next few months.

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