sorry for the delay. i have a sick child at home and daddy is away.
"bloss, i have never relied on any study which mentioned romanian children in orphanages. any information i have used in these discussions come from sites on the net."
if you read this statement carefully. it doesn't say that i have not looked at any research myself. remember somewhere below i said i had a friend who did a master's in mental health? she also works in clinical mental health at the moment. not with children but through her I have had access to other research. as i said even further down, i am nerdy in that kind of way.
i have for a while also been questioning why i am having this debate with you. on several fronts which i think is now pertinent to raise since you have questioned now, i believe twice, why you are talking to me.
firstly, you have not even once volunteered to show evidence for your views on parenting. i am not saying you shouldn't hold them and have to justify them to anyone. I am saying that i have clarified where all the information i share come from and why but i would like to see you share something which us that further clarifies how you came to your parenting decisions.
your post on Sat 10-Mar-07 at 07:00:24 - is so widely presumptive and dismissive of everything it is almost frightening (and would be embarrasing to me if i had made it.) and makes me wonder why you are talking to me.
so
secondly, I use these three links because they provide are evidence based information on the material they publish on the net. You may be able to find some of the rearch they relied on on the net, or go to your library and ask them to provide the information if you were interested in more. These sites, with the exception of the continuum concept ones, contain material lifetime researchers in some of the most respected teaching and research universities on the planet. if they are not good enough for you to read with an open and humble mind, then i am afraid nothing is good enough for you. hence why i now truly feel like i am wasting my time talking to you.
thirdly, these links on these sites would take you to other accedited research institutions with some fascinating fields of study of the behavioural and developmental psychology, and cross-cultural anthropological studies to name a few. it is a pity i feel like you are willing to throw out the baby with the bath water.
If you are really, truly interested, you would actually read some of the documents carefully on the sites - cross reference them even if you like and check the histories of who made them - and then take a measured response - from an analytical pov. not a pre-supposed one. some of these sites, especially the american ones, you'll even be able to see the full CV of some of the people who are publishing this stuff on the web. these are not people who have an interest in supporting one parenting style or another. these are people who have made careers in science and then go on to teach people to get their own doctorate degrees. they are more trained than you or I to comment on their topics of study.
" Or have you simply relied on the statements and arguments made by natural parenting websites" this statement sounds like you are deriding these sites before you have read anything from them. you have said, oh, they are natural parenting websites and we all know what those granola-eating, slingwearing, hairy armpitted, AP mums are all about.
these sites are not anti-cc or pro attachment parenting. they provide evidence why co-sleeping (in its many forms including rooming in) and bf (but that is not part or this discussion) are vital practices today. by default cc diametrically opposed to co-sleeping. that's all.
while we are here, the reason why i hate the AP label being applied is because i come from a culture where children are carried a lot for a time in slings and a lot by siblings, relatives or the neighbourhood children even. that breastfeeds and co-sleeps because taht is what the Maya still do after more than 3,000 of documented history. if that is good enough for them, then it is good enough for me. if that makes you think i am AP then i can accept that, but what i hate is the derision that comes with the term when used by individuals who don't believe in it. not the term, really.
it is also the reason why i read the Continnum Concept in the first place. i was curious to see what this AP thing was all about. i still haven't read Sears (and may never do will) which from what i understand is something of an AP bible.
you have given passionate descriptions of your rl situations and i could have made said what i had done differently or say did you try, etc, etc. but why would I when you are past the stages (i believe) for both your children where it mattered. i refrain from discussing mine because my rl situations are unique so i point people to places where if they read, and then read further than i point, then maybe they can reflect make up their own minds for their own individual circumstances. I am not asking them to buy anything whole hog. I am letting everyone know that I think CC is only a very last resort and here are some things to consider on why it should be so and what you may be able to look at and evaluate your position on your parenting that may repoint, not change, some of your parenting decisions.