Can I please have your honest opinions on CC? HV is recomending I am not sure.

[eenybeeny]

My HV is recomending CC for my 6 month old.

Our problems with his sleep are these:

1. He only naps in his pram. He screams and screams when I try to get him to nap in his cot during the day.

1. He wakes up to 6 times a night for one thing or another.

1. He wakes anywhere from 3 a.m. to 5 a.m. and is ready for the day.

Please give me any advice you have and let me know... is CC cruel? I really dont know. Normally, the thing is, when he cries I want to rush to him to help him. I dont know if I can leave him to cry. Please help!

you left a tiny baby for 5-10 mins?

what ridiculous behaviour

why is that ridiculous? they had been fed, had clean nappies and were obviously v tired. if we picked them up they cried even more cos they jus wanted to sleep. now they both absolutely love their beds and their sleep.

I think you have to do whatever is right for you. We did a modified form of cc and it worked for us and it was upsetting, but I was exhausted and needed to sort out his sleeping before I returned to work. If I hadn't gone back to work, I am not sure I would do it. The only thing I would say is it rarely takes more than 1 period of crying for 5 minutes if we need to use cc again - after he has recovered from illness or teething.

But there are lots of other method out there so I'm sure you'll find one that suits you...

Even the evil man himself says it not for under 12 monthers

and food and a clean nappy are only 2 out of the many, many things that a newborn could be needing

Will now PARP myself away from this thread

[disbelief emoticon]

have to agree with TrinityRhino ,5-10 minutes and even the 30 minutes at 6 months is far too much!i dont agree or disagree with cc i think it depends on your version of it,how old lo is and how you feel.

and thats coming from someone who s done pu pd which according to some is form of cc.

its hard, but worthwhile. I did it early-ish, and now my 8mth old sleeps through from 7pm-830am and I am so glad I did.

For about 4 days it was agonising, she cried hard for 1 and half hours, but she is a determined little madam...it was either do cc or lose my mind.

we coupled it with a very fixed bedtime routine, and weve stuck to it.

did you go in in that time?

Hi eenybaby

I am one of the few in the for camp. Read the thread on positive experiences of cc and another called "The cc support thread", both are quite recent. The overwhelming thing here is that you know your Child and will know if you can read them well enough to do it. Personally my DD had trouble going down at night to bed (not night wakings as she still feeds at night) she also sleeps to a reasonable time in the morning but did nap in her pram. I had the same concerns but felt that she was crying so much through being so tired anyway that we should go for it. We had tried many other things first. By resolving our going down at night problem she is now happy to nap in the cot in the day (such a fantastic bonus!) and wakes less at night.

Read everything you can both for and against, do not let yourself get wound up by the bits you do not agree with just read it all then come to your own decision.

Good Luck with whichever way you go!

it is only in the 'modern' West that any of the things you describe are seen as problems.
the world over, parents comfort their babies whenever they cry, without doubting what they are doing. Babies sleep in slings and get carried around by their parents or siblings all day long. Some of those things may not be practical for you but if his sleeping in his pram is convenient and works then do it. I found taking a nap with my dd works and when she went to nursery, sleeps in a pushchair - still at 22 months. they shoggle the pushchair from side to side and she drops off. She literally crawls into her own pushchair with a smile right after lunch.

around six months, babies start to perceive distance and can see that you are not 'with' them. hence why they become clingy. the phase passes quicker when you provide unconditional reassurance to them. i don't know if there are any shortcuts to achieving that.

what needs to change is the expectations of adults around you. not your baby.
your baby has the same developmental needs as a baby in the Pleistocene era. When humans were just another animal fighting to keep his ecological niche, the babies whose cries got attended to quickly were most likely to survive. and that is the same reason why your insticts tell you to pick up your baby. no amount of cultural expections and modern life is going to alter your baby's needs or your desire to respond to them.

I second ditching the monitor if you have one.

But I think there are several things you can try before CC, and if none of them work - well at least your baby will be older when you do try it.

One thing that worked for us was having a night on and a night off. We are lucky enough to have a largish one storey house and so the one who was off duty was away from the noise. Things were much better after a week, but we didn't do anything different with him in the night - just took it in turns.

By a year old he was sleeping for 12 hours a night, and still is at 4 years old. He does sometimes wander into our room at 5am, but is happy to be led back to his bed. he is not distressed.

some of the articles here

and

here you may find reassuring.

\link(www.naturalchild.org/guest/elizabeth_baldwin.html\here is a fantastic article imho.} i wish i had wrote it myself.

ahem
here is a fantastic article

Hi eenybeeny
Not sure if its been mentioned, but what about putting him in his own room now (if that's a possibility).
Our DS2 was a very light sleeper and would wake several times a night. Just rustling the duvet, or one of us coughing at night would stir him. He slept in our room until 6mths because we were in a small flat.
As soon as we moved house and he had his own room his sleeping improved.

Second the put him in his own room, if you can hear him every time he stirs he can hear you, a friend had the same problem, moved him in the end after much persuasion, slept mush better, at 14 months persuaded her to get rid of the monitor as well, and he slept right through, he was just stirring in the night and mumbling but because she could here him, she would go into check, without the monitor he would just go back to sleep, the baby was old enough to holler loudly if he really needed her.

And yes I am in the Yes camp, did it 28 years ago with mine, it takes a average of 5-7 days to change a child's sleeping pattern IMO, heartbreaking while doing it, but worth it in the end, cos you and baby are not tired, which means you have so much more patience and time for them the next day, not some sleep walking zombie!

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no evidence that CC does any harm

is not the same as

evidence of no harm

There is no evidence that CC is SAFE.

For example:

"The Australian Association for Infant Mental Health (AAIMHI) is concerned about the widely practiced technique of "controlled crying".

AAIMHI is concerned that controlled crying is not consistent with what infants need for their optimal emotional and psychological health, and may have unintended negative consequences."

No one knows that it is SAFE. It is not something I would do with my children.

I did everything differently with DS (now 6) than I did with DD (now 2.9) I must admit

With DS controlled crying was 'the' thing that everyone was talking about and I didn't have mumsnet back then

When he was 6 months DH and I talked about doing controlled crying (he was waking once or twice a night only) and decided to go for it .. the little blighter slept through that night and in the future .. but there were times when he started to wake up after that and we did ignore him when he cried .. and he would re-settle himself within 10 minutes (I would say the worst time was probably for 40 minutes).. and he's a fabulous sleeper

With DD I didn't do anything and just went with the flow and she used to wake up once a night until 11 months when she started to sleep through

I do think there is the tendency with first child to jump at the first whimper (and sometimes babies like children cry in their sleep then re-settle) ... if you always jump at the first cry you teach them to wake themselves up I think. I wouldn't have any qualms in waiting for 5 minutes or so to see whether they'll re-settle themselves first

Wow the thread took off while I was gone. I just started a new job at a Harvester last night. I will read all of this now and then post again.

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You need to pick a sleep solution that suits you and your child. Everyone has to make their own decision.

I used it with both of mine at around 8-9 months and it worked with both of them. It took a week with dd and two weeks with ds

To make it work you have to be prepared to stick to it, otherwise you get all the stress and no benefit in the end IYSWIM. everyone that I know of who has done it , had it work, but it doesn't suit everone.

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