10 month old won't sleep through!

[Gemisagem12]

I have a 10 month old who just won't sleep through, I've been trying to get her to sleep because I'm due to give birth again in 6 weeks! She has all her meals and bottles in the day time, goes to bed at 7 fine, but then wakes at 11 for a bottle, then 1am, then 3am, then is wide awake playing at 4 and doesn't go back to sleep until around 7-8 in the morning which is when my 3 year old wakes up, I'm exhausted, 34 weeks pregnant and anaemic and not to mention I don't even sleep in bed because my partner snores violently to the point where I can't take it!
Is there any hope of me getting her into a sleep routine before the new baby arrives? I'm at a loss here
X X

What time are her naps in the day? Can you write up her full routine?

She wakes up at 4am which is when she plays and has a 6oz bottle and a bowl of banana porridge,
Sleeps again from around 7 until 9

Wakes up, another 6oz bottle and more porridge, around 11-12 she has her lunch which is usually spaghetti or chicken veg (the baby jars)
Has another nap after that from around 1:30 until 3 / 3:30

When she wakes she has her dinner and a pudding and plays, around 6 I give her a bath and a 7oz bottle which she then sleeps after,
But then is awake at 11 for a bottle, 1 and 3 and then is awake again at 4am and the cycle starts again
X

Ok so the biggest issue you have is that she's getting a big feed at 4am. That's totally unnecessary at her age. She is also using the 7-9 sleep to compensate for night time wakings.
At 10 months you could be looking at
Bottle 7am
Breakfast 8am
Nap 9.30-10am
Lunch 11.45
Nap 12.30-2.30
Bottle 3pm
Supper 5pm
Bath 6pm
Bottle 6.15pm
Bed 6.45pm

Also is she falling asleep on the bottle?

Yeah she falls asleep on the last bottle at night

She doesn't need any milk at night, try putting water in her bottle. Also, she doesn't need 2 breakfasts.

At that age, my DC had:

7am: toddler cereal, bf

10am: toast and mackerel pâté, bf

Nap

12pm: meat, veg, potatoes, fruit, bf

2pm: toast and mackerel pâté, bf

Nap

5pm: meat, veg, potatoes, fruit, bf

8pm: bf

Bed

Ah ha. That's why she's waking up. Put her down awake and you will find she sleeps much longer and can settle back to sleep. She doesn't want milk. She wants the sleep prop of sucking on a bottle to get back asleep again

It seems like in her current routine she gets a lovely yummy meal or bottle every time she wakes as soon as she wakes Day and night. I'd probably wake regualarly for that too! That's not a judgement btw! I imagine instilling a new routine will be a bit of a nightmare but worth it even if she just does longer at night. Can your OH help? Breaking the wake up / eat association might be the way to go? Good luck!

I feel for you and wish I had a magic wand but I don't think it's anything you're doing wrong. It's really not unusual to not sleep through at ten months (or even 2 to 3 times that age for that matter). Solidarity though and congratulations on your imminent arrival!

I think you've got more chance of sorting out your partners snoring than the baby so I'd work on that first! Get him to the doctors and then if everything's ok, to the chemist for some anti-snoring devices!

Treat the 4am wake up as night time - she doesn't need porridge or milk then!

You need to totally separate bottle from sleep. Give her milk at the very start of her bedtime routine, before changing into pyjamas/bath/story/whatever. Then work on cutting down the other night feeds. Gradually reduce the amount of milk you give her each night til you're giving nothing - then go and resettle without milk - it will take a few nights but persevere. You can stick with one night feed if you want (my 11mo wakes up for milk at 10pm and then sleeps through til 7) but it might be easier to cut them all out.

If she wakes at 4 do NOT get her up - it's still night time and you must treat it as such. She stays in her room, in the dark and quiet. That 7-9am "nap" she's taking is making up for lost night sleep, enabling her 4am wake up. Limit the first nap of the day to an hour max.

All the above helped massively with my own baby.

I night weaned around this age with DS. He was waking to be BF at similar times to your DD and it was exhausting me!
I slept on the sofa for three nights and DP dealt with all the wake ups during that time - so DS got lots of comfort and cuddles, water offered, but no milk.
It wasn't instant, but seemed to break that automatic wake up=milk connection for him and by the time he was 12 months he was reliably sleeping through.

Would that work for you? Obviously with bottles your DP doesn't have to do the wake ups, but it might help your DD expect the bottle less, if that makes sense? (And in any case, sounds like you could do with a break!)

Thank you for all the help girls! (And guys)
I didn't expect so much helpful advice, I'll be trialing some of the methods over the next week or so and I'll keep the post updated on any breakthroughs! Hopefully the post comes in handy for any future mums experiencing the same troubles !
XXX

Hi there,

Similar situation here, except for the pregnancy! DS (first baby) is 9 months, has bath, teeth, pjs feed then bed by 7, I hand him to dh after the feed so he settles him. this definitely used to be in his cot cos ds would just stare into the little light from the -spy camera- baby monitor then drift off with dhs hand on his chest.
he will sleep till 10 or 11 then i feed and put him back down, maybe till 1 or 2 if we're really lucky. About a month ago I'd put him back in his cot but now I'm so tired I just pick him up and take him to spare room, he has a feed with me lying down and we both fall asleep. If he went back in the cot it would only be for an hour or so,
Almost daily I want to try to improve things but not sure where to start!! I will encourage dh to put him down awake, but I'm so reluctant to stop feeding "just in case", although I'm sure he'd eat more in the day if he ate less at night.
I agree, everyone really helpful on here, I'll be looking out for your progress Gemi.
And I should probably add that he still naps on me or ds during the day. hoping that if we get better at putting him down at night it will give me confidence to try in the day, has always been a nightmare to date....

Sounds like you've got some good advice but I think the most helpful thing would be your partner taking over some nights maybe at the weekend? Partly because you sound exhausted and it is probably going to get worse for at least a few days before it gets better and partly because she may behave differently for him or take easier to new routines.
Or you could have a swap over time. My dh did all early mornings even when he was working and I was off when I was up a lot at night.
Also if you're 34 weeks pregnant why on earth are you on the sofa and not him?!

OK- just a quick update, it's been 2 nights since I posted this and so far this is how it's been going -
Day 1, 4AM wake up,
Bottle
Nap at 9 until 11
Dinner at 11:30
Bottle at 12
Nap from 1 until 4
(I think she was having a growth spurt, she slept A LOT this day)
Dinner at 4:30
Bottle at 5
She then fell asleep for about 45 minutes in her pram because I had to pick up my
Daughter from nursery,
She then woke around 7, I gave her a bottle BEFORE her bath and put her to bed using the cry it out method, she cried for 25 minutes before she passed out sitting up, I lay her down and tucked her in.
She slept until 4AM again.
Day 2
Exactly the same only she didn't have the nap on the way to nursery
Again used the cry it out method and she slept through from 8 until 5!
It might not sound like the best but compared to how she was doing it's a lot better..
I'm trying to break the eat= sleep cycle so my aim here is to put her to bed awake without a bottle, and not feed her in the day time as soon as she wakes up, give her half an hour or so
I'll keep the post updated anyway and hopefully in a few days we've got it down!

This sounds better. Keep up the good work!