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Original poster

Help me! 7 week won't sleep

101 replies

january29 · 13/02/2017 22:30

Think I'm the one with the problem I'm so exhausted that I'm getting anxious because my baby doesn't nap much and will fight sleep for hours and then wake quickly. Then I'm too anxious to sleep because I know I'll need to be up again so soon. I've tried lots of things to get her to sleep but she'll fight it. She grunts and passes wind lots in her sleep and that wakes her so sleep never lasts for long. I'm so tired I can't see the wood for the trees. I know she needs more sleep and I can't seem to help her so feel rubbish about this too. All my friends have babies who just sleep what am I doing wrong. Help, when will she sleep better and for longer (4 or 5 hours I mean)

OP posts:
teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 10:28

Yep, unfortunately! Both of mine have been like that. Sometimes tolerated the vibrating bouncy chair for a quick shower. But they will grow out of it!

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 10:28

Spacedinosaur how was your night?

OP posts:
user1487070016 · 14/02/2017 11:15

Gosh i feel for you. My 17 week old was very much like what you're describing - he's improving sleeping away from me but still not great for more than about 15 minutes.

A couple of things that have worked for me: learning how to breastfeed in a sling (most come with guides for breastfeeding "holds"). A vija-designs top - like a sling but you wear it - I've used one on a few occasions to sleep half sitting with LO as a last resort. It's also great for going out and about and can be used as a nursing top when they outgrow it.

If you're lying on your side to breastfeed I find mine needed me to help him support my lower boob to put it at the right height for him - he does this himself now. For the upper boob I found putting my arm over my head (as if you are putting your hand up to ask a question but lying down) helped with positioning.

Also get yourself a thermal mug if you don't already have one so you can have a hot drink in the middle of the night without having to get up (and some nice chocolates/something you like for when it feels really difficult).

SpaceDinosaur · 14/02/2017 16:05

Pretty hideous january Grin
I finally successfully put her down and, like you, we managed a few hours. Then she stirred for a night feed. Fed her, changed her, fed her (our usual pattern) and she would not go down.
SHE WOULD NOT GO DOWN. I had to hold her until DH took her at 7.30 for an hr and I got another 20min kip but she was screaming with tiredness.

Having met MIL & DM for coffee this morning whilst DD screamed on and off with exhaustion, fought sleep and woke every 20 min after being boobed to sleep, I have come home. Sobbed. Stripped the baby to her nappy and we're doing skin to skin, feeding and sleeping (her, not me) on the sofa with the radio on softly.

I'm praying that her sleeping most of the afternoon will implement some kind of baby reset. My poor baby is so so tired.

I'm freaking dying.

Aliveinwanderland · 14/02/2017 16:53

What happens when you put her down? We had a hideous 3 weeks with DS when he was born where he would feed, fall asleep, be lowered ever so carefully into crib, within 15 mins wake up, then have to feed again to fall asleep. Spent 3 weeks doing it until eventually he started to do longer in the crib. We brought it downstairs in the day time and spent all day doing the same pattern until he eventually got used to it. He had reflux so lying flat was painful so he had some medication for that too.

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 16:57

Space I'm totally there with you. DD has been awake all day except for 45 minutes in the sling. She has feed loads though I do think some of it is just comfort as she wants to sleep but can't seem to. I know she needs more sleep but won't give in. Goodness only knows how tonight will be.

When I put her down she just cries.

OP posts:
Aliveinwanderland · 14/02/2017 17:01

45 minutes all day? No wonder she isn't sleeping st night and is crying, she must be exhausted!

Can you cancel all plans for the next few days and work on getting her into a better sleep routine. 1 hour awake maximum before having a sleep. If that sleep has to be in the car, pram, sling, on you, what ever it takes to get her to have a sleep after every hour of being awake. Don't even try and put her down at the minute- 3 days of letting her sleep as much as possible and then you will be in a much better place to start a routine with her. Draft in helpers as you will need them for next few days.

FATEdestiny · 14/02/2017 17:07

Does she not feed to sleep?

SpaceDinosaur · 14/02/2017 17:13

We got to a point last night January where she was sucking and then screaming at my boob. I should have used the dummy but I'll be fucked if I could think that straight.

Oh yeah! They absolutely feed to sleep FATE. It's just if you change anything once they're asleep, like if you move they wake up or if they feel like it, they wake up again after 20 minutes and be so so exhausted they can't get back to sleep...or if I try and have a drink.... it's a killer.

Madam is currently naked and asleep on me. Almost 2 hrs and counting. This has got to help her.... right?

How's your day going January?

Sunnie1984 · 14/02/2017 17:16

It sounds like reflux.

Comfort sucking, cannot be put down, cannot sleep for more than 30 minutes.

I would go to the doctor. Even simple gaviscon made the world of difference.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 17:16

If she's only slept for 45 mins, don't keep trying to put her down! Just let her feed and let her sleep.

There is no feeding just for comfort until they're much older so don't worry about how long or how often she's feeding. Feed on the sofa, feed lying down in bed, feed in the sling if you can master it, and once she's fallen asleep, just leave her. Or transfer to a sling if you must!

teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 17:19

Space At this stage, for both of your sakes, don't move her! You both need the sleep. Why do you say co-sleeping didn't work? That's your best bet of some sanity and rest at this stage if there's anything you need advice with?

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 17:40

I'm not trying to move her in the day except when I absolutely have to, just to go to the toilet mainly. She is often still feeding an hour after she has woken so don't know how to get her to sleep that quick, she will fall asleep on the boob but then wake herself very quickly with a fart, any movement from me, straining her neck. I've been trying most things today in the house to get her to sleep although I haven't done the car drive so I can try that tomorrow. I'm not trying to put her down in the day just get her to sleep. Passing wind seems painful for her.

OP posts:
teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 17:49

Try the GP for reflux.

Is she dozing whilst feeding? Most BF babies do. DS seems to feed, doze whilst feeding, wake up a bit and feed and then fall asleep a bit more deeply. It can take ages. When he wakes up, I tend to change him, run around topping up drinks and going to the loo whilst he has a kick about and then settle down again in the sofa. Or feed and he has to sleep on the way to/from whatever we're doing for toddler DD.

littledinaco · 14/02/2017 19:41

Have you tried biological nursing position for the day? Baby may be less likely to wake up and if you get yourself nice and comfortable with pillows it can be restful for you while she sleeps.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/sarahockwell-smith.com/2012/11/04/the-fourth-trimester-aka-why-your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/amp/?client=safari
This gives some good tips.
Sounds like you're doing great op.

Original poster
january29 · 15/02/2017 03:06

How is you night space? We went down for a couple of hours but wide awake now.

OP posts:
toastandnutella · 15/02/2017 03:23

My DS was like this. I was on my own with him , BF and had to go back to work when he was 10 days old (self employed no work no money)
I remember it got to 14 times in a night and i was delirious.Exhaustion is beyond horrific , I really feel for you but it will pass
My boy is 3.5 now and is sleeping through the night
Co sleeping changed EVERYTHING
I would take to docs just to see if they can help
I went through gallons of infacol too which helped settle his windy tummy
Their little tummies and inside bits have never been used so it just takes a little time
Nobody understands how bad it is until they have had children
Little blighters !!

You are doing a fab job, keep going, It will pass, then they start walking and talking ...aaaahhhhh xx

SpaceDinosaur · 15/02/2017 03:28

Hi January!

Well, I got her sleeping on me all afternoon and then evening which I think helped with the whole "in so overtired that I'm manically "alert" thing" . She's just woken and we're on the first Feed of "feed change feed sleep"

This is where it all went tits up last night's 😩

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 15/02/2017 03:40

Hi other awake overtired mums. Awake with refluxy baby sleeping on me. Put her down and she was sick all over bed so felt guilty and picked her up. Bizarrely sleeping on me seems to prevent her getting so sick....Didn't manage to get the gaviscon in her tonight (she'll only take it in expressed breast milk, spits out the cooled boiled water). Why the f don't they give a liquid form for infants? As if we don't have enough to cope with!

Anyway, this may not make sense (massively overtired) but just wanted to say I'm there with you all. Totally sucks but "this too will pass" in time. My baby is 9 weeks. From my hazy memories of dd1 (now schoolage) it gets better at around 4 months....

Also totally normal for them to hate being put down - ther's a book called the forth trimester all about this.....

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 15/02/2017 03:48

Also just want to vent about how much I hate all the effing advice I'm getting from well meaning people (and dh) who get more sleep than me about routines. Think I'm doing well to get through the day and night and routines can go stuff themselves - until I get more sleep I'm just doing what works for baby (and to a lesser extent, me)...

Ebbenmeowgi · 15/02/2017 04:02

It's so hard isn't it?! My dd is 9 weeks old, sleep was slowly improving at night (she's never slept longer than 3 hours though, and 3 hours is rare!) but she's recently had a growth/developmental spurt and her vaccines so that's left her more unsettled.

I've really worked on getting her to nap regularly in the day time, which I think really helps with her sleeping at night. When you use a sling are you using it just around the house or for going for long walks? Does your lo nap ok when out and about? I find dd naps well in the day when it's pretty noisy (so outside, or at home with music/washing machine/general noisy household stuff going on.

Everything you've described sounds pretty normal for her age, she's only little and it will improve (so people keep telling me!). I found chi sleeping and feeding lying down tricky at first but getting the hang of it now (although dd sometimes gets bad wind feeding this way!).

Ineedacupofteadesperately · 15/02/2017 04:13

Hi ebben....good to know not only one awake. Vaccinations affected my dd too - had v high fever after (doc said was the men b one) despite calpol. Didn't help my sleep because I struggled to sleep even when she did as was obsessively taking her temperature. Now I have a really sore throat so will have the joy of colds all around I expect..... Just want to get through this winter to spring. Hopefully then it will all get better.....

SpaceDinosaur · 15/02/2017 04:16

Attempt 1 to put the baby down was an epic failure. We're back on the boob.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 15/02/2017 06:05

Space Do you need to put her down? Why is safe co-sleeping not working for you?

teaandbiscuitsforme · 15/02/2017 06:07

Ebben Anything close to a 3 hour stint is very normal at this stage. Don't do routines yet and go with your instincts at the moment!