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Original poster

Help me! 7 week won't sleep

101 replies

january29 · 13/02/2017 22:30

Think I'm the one with the problem I'm so exhausted that I'm getting anxious because my baby doesn't nap much and will fight sleep for hours and then wake quickly. Then I'm too anxious to sleep because I know I'll need to be up again so soon. I've tried lots of things to get her to sleep but she'll fight it. She grunts and passes wind lots in her sleep and that wakes her so sleep never lasts for long. I'm so tired I can't see the wood for the trees. I know she needs more sleep and I can't seem to help her so feel rubbish about this too. All my friends have babies who just sleep what am I doing wrong. Help, when will she sleep better and for longer (4 or 5 hours I mean)

OP posts:
CareFactor · 14/02/2017 00:04

Hang on in there, it will get easier I promise. Sometimes at this age they just like to nap on you and feed all the time but it might also be worth seeing a lactation consultant to check for tongue tie/that your latch is ok. My DS had this, he was breastfed and the tongue tie really affected his sleep as he swallowed so much air when feeding, he was never settled.

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:05

www.babyhammocks.com/index.php?route=common/home

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:07

My children couldnt sleep flat, we tilted whatever they were in so their heads were higher, and that helped. We also had vibrating bouncy chairs and they slept better in those than flat.

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:08

In desperation however, we got a night nanny, she charged the same as a chikdminder and came in for 6 hours twice a week, midnight till 6. My greatest regret is that we didnt have her more.

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 00:08

Thanks for replying. Sobbing now. The grunting crying wakes her up, I don't pick her up until she cries but she'll grunt wriggle and squirm and wake herself then cry. I'll look into cow milk intolerance. I don't mind her sleeping on me in the day but I need a sleep in the night, thanks so much for replying.

OP posts:
TheOnlyColditz · 14/02/2017 00:10

try putting the moses basket on the bed next to you, so you can just reach in and gently soothe and your baby can hear your breathing

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 00:10

Where do I find a lactation consultant? I went to a breastfeeding support group but they just said it all looks fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 00:11

Ok I'm attempting to put her down in the sleepy head next to me on the bed.

OP posts:
Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:12

Is there anyone that could have her overnight in your own home for you?

nong45 · 14/02/2017 00:13

Mine are 11 and 13 now so a long time ago but my son was a nightmare sleeper and colicy, my daughter was really clingy and I don't remember sleeping much for weeks and weeks with either of them. What did really help me though was expressing some milk during the day so my husband could do an evening or night feed. I used to freeze it when I could get enough out so there was always the option! If he did an evening feed I would just go to bed at 6/7pm and miss a feed and get a few hours sleep until the next one. Or at weekends he would do a middle of the night feed and sometimes I was that tired I'd sleep through to the next one or if I did wake up, just not having to sit up and feed for half an hour and then get up to change the inevitable dirty nappy afterwards even just the once in the night would make such a big difference to how I felt the next day. Those dark hours can seem a lonely place sometimes when you're exhausted with a newborn. At around 3 months onwards it does seem to get a bit better though free m what I remember. Smile

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:13

That way maybe you could express, and then properly switch off?

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:15

By the way, dont even give a second thought as to whether any of this is damaging her. It isnt. Flowers

nong45 · 14/02/2017 00:23

And if you go to bed and leave baby with DH and a bottle and baby just cries, it's hard to ignore but it's not going to do any harm. In fact a good cry on dad tires them out! They like to make you feel guilty for 'abandoning' them these babies...my son also refused the bottle to start with because it wasn't the same as me, but he got used to it when he realised he didn't have a choice and still got a feed!

Billyjoe123 · 14/02/2017 00:29

^^ This.

I prescribe earplugs and a big glass of wine. Express just beforehand and drift off, tipsy.

SpaceDinosaur · 14/02/2017 00:53

Hey January! Sounds like our DDs are almost the exact same age (will be 7 weeks on Friday) and cut from the exact same cloth... nights of "don't you dare put me down woman", refusing to even cosleep, waking up after 10minutes. Getting horrendously overtired and overwhelmed... I asked DH if we could take her back 2 nights ago Blush

Like you, my DD is ebf.
I've started expressing. There's always at least one, usually 2 feeds in the fridge. That way, my DH or DM can take DD for a few hours in another room and I can confidently take a nap. We use slow flow teats and the Medela bottles (which literally screw into my breast pump!) it's helped me to "recover" between god awful nights. It also helps that they are both confident with her... well, DH is getting there God love him.

Right now DH is at work. DD's back on the boob after waking up or rather not falling asleep... apparently 50 verses of the wheels on the fucking bus don't cut it!

I'm going to feed her to sleep. Cuddle her for a good 10 minutes and then pray.

I popped onto MN having just almost bought a sleepyhead as a promised miracle worker... but £110 seems like a bloody joke if there's no guarantee!!!

Feed
Cuddle
Cuddle
Cuddle
Cling on to the mantra that this too will pass

shailaa · 14/02/2017 00:59

This time last year I could have literally wrote your post word for word! I thought it would never get better, it does. Dd just turned 1 last week and is a brilliant sleeper now. She settled down abit with her sleeping at around 2 months old I do hope it's the same for you! I bought a next 2 me cot which she would sleep in eventually but tbh I don't think her sleep changing was much to do with the cot, she just grew out of it I think because we had tried EVERYTHING. I know you can't see the light at the moment but I promise it does get so much easier, I used to cry with her most nights. My advice is to find a good series on Netflix and don't put pressure on your sleeping pattern. I used to sleep for an hour here and there in the daytime just to catch up, good luck op Wine

teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 07:11

You need to stop putting her down. If she falls asleep BF, you just need to hold her to let her sleep or put her in a sling.

Also keep practising feeding lying down - baby on side, rolled up blanket behind, hold boob in the right place until she's got it. Once she falls asleep, gently roll the blanket away so she's lying flat. If you're shattered today, stay in bed all day doing this!

teaandbiscuitsforme · 14/02/2017 07:22

Sorry I should clarify.

During the day, let her fall asleep on you BF if she will. Otherwise she should sleep in a sling or in the pram.

At night, BF lying down and co-sleep following the safety guidelines.

Please don't let her fall asleep on you and then you fall asleep. That's not what I meant.

Crispmonster1 · 14/02/2017 07:29

How well does she feed normally? Have you had latch checked etc? Have you considered reflux or tongue tie? Speak to your health visitor and seek advice. Sleep
Deprivation is the worst and can lead to PND. I have been where you are (about 2 weeks ago) and my DS was tongue tied. Had it done and he is much more settled. There may be a reason she is like this or maybe she is just developing a bit later. I use baby Bjorn carrier during day and he sleeps in it. Use any option u can. My DS still sleeping on me but I have accepted this and I feel better about it. I didn't with my first DD and it was miserable. Best of lucks

Aliveinwanderland · 14/02/2017 08:05

DS is 16 weeks a not a great sleeper. I won't say it gets easier, but you do get used to it! My mum came round yesterday so I could have 2 hours in bed in the afternoon.

littledinaco · 14/02/2017 08:21

If you haven't already, read about the fourth trimester.

Feeding lying down does take practice but once you get the hang of it, you'll have so much more sleep. Maybe practice it in the day.
I know what you mean about getting stressed and not being able to get back to sleep. I found once I had accepted that it was going to be like this for a bit and there was noting I could do, I slept much better. I leanered to relax and fall back to sleep lying down and literally stopped noticing the wake ups. I did have to 'teach' myself to do this though-totally acceptance of baby wakings and deep breathing relaxation type thing before I could do it without thinking. Realise this may not work for everyone though.

I also found that if I waited until a proper cry it make me more awake and more stressed waiting for them to wake properly. Instead I stuck a boob in as soon as baby stirred-meant baby latched easier and we all got back to sleep straight away.

Good luck, it's really hard.

Aliveinwanderland · 14/02/2017 08:33

Have you tried not looking at the clock at night time? I tried turning ours off so I didn't know what time it was and felt less stressed as I didn't know how much sleep I was missing!

Bobbybobbins · 14/02/2017 08:39

Oh no, it's so hard when sleep is so disturbed those first few weeks. Will the baby sleep in a pram? I used to find a short walk with them all snuggled up would help and keep me sane with some fresh air and caffeine. It will get better, though it feels like an eternity.

Flisspaps · 14/02/2017 08:52

These early weeks can be horrible.

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, it's fucking horrendous. DS didn't sleep unless I held or fed him until he was several months old, that was all that worked with him. We co-slept with him until he was 9mo.

If you don't want to go down the Gina Ford/leave them with a bottle until they're exhausted and take it route, don't - that's ok. If you want to try it, do - that's ok too.

Original poster
january29 · 14/02/2017 10:24

I survived the night. Thanks for all the advice and support it helped me not feel so anxious. I eventually got her down for 3 hours so got a couple of hours. The rest of the time she wanted to be held as she slept. She didn't feed lots in the night though so don't think she is hungry. She feeds lots in the day for a long time, maybe 45mins a time and every 2 hours from start of last feeds. Lots of nappies. Lots of trump too. I'll try and practice the co sleep feeding in the day when we are both less tired. I do have a sling for the day which when she isn't feeding us great. She doesn't like being put down in the day either, she just had 45 mins feed, smiled and 'played' for five minutes with me, then I put her down to go to the toilet and she instantly screamed is that normal?

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