3 weeks old - sleep deprivation kicking in!

[behindthewhitedoor]

My 3 week old ds is keeping me up all night - and I mean all night.

He starts around 8pm, about hourly feeding, after which I wind him and try to put him in his Moses basket then he cries. He pulls his legs up so I think this is wind, I pick him up, wind him again, get him to sleep, put him down and he cries again. And continue....This goes on til around 7am, resulting in zero sleep for me. That's when he will settle. And that's when my toddler gets up!

i think sometimes the hourly feeding is just comfort sucking. Whatever, by morning my nipples are burning!

He will, however, sleep at night if propped up on my shoulder (which is where he is now). Again, no sleep for me when he does this which is why I want him to settle in his basket.

I then have to get up and look after my toddler (I'm a single parent) for the day. Last 24 hours I've had 3 hours sleep, which is now normal. I'm exhausted.

Oh but in the daytime he will happily sleep for 3/4 hours at a go, in his bouncy chair or in his basket. With little sign of wind.

Why is the wind apparently only a problem at night? Assuming it is wind. How come he can be fine during the day? Why won't he settle in his basket at night? How can I get some sleep?! I don't expect answers, just need to vent really. It's my first post, sorry it's long.

It's not wind. Babies need to sleep on/with their mothers, especially at night, so they know they're safe and close to the food source when they're most at risk of being eaten by wolves (they haven't evolved passed the pre-historic in this regard). The 'sleeps fine on your shoulder but wakes when you put in the cot' is the giveaway.

You need to either:

• feed to sleep lying down and co-sleep
• do everything you can to replicate these conditions using swaddle and dummy, hot water bottle in the cot before putting baby in, white noise

First option was the only one that worked for my two.

Thanks Elphaba, I don't remember my dd doing this so I didn't realise. I am reluctant to co sleep as I am so shattered. Should I use a dummy at this early stage? I thought that could confuse them feeding. Thanks for your reply.

My DS did exactly the same and after day 3 we just co slept. I had no intention what so ever of letting him sleep in with us but it was fine! He slept, I slept, everyone was happy. After a few weeks we tried the basket again and he slept in it fine. I put him in his cot in his own room at 7w and we all sleep even better!
About the dummy, I finally gave in at around 6 weeks old and it helped a lot! He didn't have any trouble in regards to being confused. You could always try it and see if it works for you both. I know how you feel though! Sleep deprivation is a killer!

If you have no feeding problems, the dummy shouldn't cause any confusion issues at three weeks.

There's a protective mechanism that breastfeeding mothers have built-in - you won't roll on your baby, any more than you roll off the edge of the bed, while asleep, no matter how tired you are. In my case it was co-sleep shattered or no sleep at all! As long as you follow safe co-sleeping guidelines. No duvets or pillows - use old-fashioned blankets instead, ideally sausage-rolled around you so there's no trailing parts that could cover baby's face. Button-front pyjamas for boob access, or a loose-necked shirt you can get a boob over the top of. Feed to sleep lying down, then gently wriggle yourself down next to baby, ideally with part of you in contact with him - I'd wriggle down and put my nose/forehead against the sides of their heads/faces, and got 2-3 hour stretches this way. Yes, I'd rouse lightly every now and again and listen for breathing, but I remained horizontal and went straight back to sleep. Much better than fighting repeated failed attempts at the cot.

Alternatively, swaddle first, then feed, wind if necessary, dummy, remove hot water bottle from cot, lie down gently into cot starting with the feet so as to deaden the startle reflex, possibly even start in side-lying with a hand on him, then gently roll him onto his back after a few minutes.

Thank you both, I'm looking forwards to some sleep!