Positive experiences or advice on Controlled Crying Techniques

[ruth2007]

This thread is intended to provide much needed advice to those that need help with using the cc method (in it's many various forms).
If you do not agree with the methods please express yourself elsewhere as I/we(I hope I can speak for others) need advice on how to use the technique effectively and a forum to discuss how well it is working without being made to feel any worse than we probably already do.
CC is in many cases a last resort for exhausted Parents and yes thank you we have researched the topic before starting.

My DD is 24 weeks old. I did cc 8 nights ago for the first time having previously BF my DD to sleep every night (and nap time) since she was born. Over the previous 6 weeks she had woken every time I tried to put her in the cot as she had grown too big to move undisturbed. Even with a good routine. As a result she would wake up and cry in sheer exhaustion, sometimes for hours on and off as we tried to walk/rock/sing/drive/sooth her to sleep in any other way.
At breaking point I finally introduced the CC method to get her to go to sleep in the evening.
The method I used was to check after 5 mins, then left her for 7 mins. I had intended to extend this to 9 but she had fallen asleep. I have never had to go in at 9 minute and the past few nights she now drops off pretty much as I shut the door. She still wakes at night and fights naps a little, takes naps that are too short and generally is not in a routine yet BUT she does go down in the evening between 7 and 8 without 4 hours of crying as was the case previously and is a much happier baby in general. She even cut her first tooth this week and was still on better form than any other time recently.

I hope my tale helps anyone out there going through the same or feeling they need to take this route.

I can promise you now I will not get bored of offering an alternative view to the Baby wise methodology.
that's because I am pretty keen on babies not being hit, or put at risk of starvation, dehydration or psychological damage
it's a little quirk of mine but it tends to override boredom

Thanks everyone for your good wishes. Took her to nursery for a settling-in session this morning for an hour. She of course had a lovely time while I dried my tears in the car...

Clearly I should have selected a wealthier dp so that I wouldn't have to go back to work...!

annmarieandlily its horrible isnt it!wait till they start school its worse!

Don't worry, amijee, a couple of controversial posts won't spoil our thread.
It is good to know you guys are out there!

Ruth, do you feel you are pretty much done having taught her how to settle in the evenings? How's teething affecting her sleep?

Our dd's runny nose woke her up this morning at around 5am. I heard her coughing twice, then she sneezed and I thought better get ready to give her a hug!
Next thing I hear are some muffled coughs/grumbles followed by silence. Didn't even give me a chance to go in!
Slept until 7am at which point I thought I had heard something: openend the door to see big grin and chilled toe playing. All good.

Tonight will be all about DaddyJ sleeping through! Wish me luck.

Hi daddyj - well I think she has got used to the new routine, I would hate to say she will never fuss at bedtime but she definately cries a fraction of the amount, sometimes not at all (certainly less than b4 cc). Am going to work on naps next which currently vary from day to day then once weaned I will work on night wakings.

I suppose you need to work on the biggest problem first and work through. Her naps and night wakings have improved already as she has learnt to self settle .

Hope you all have a peaceful evening.

Hi, I'm new here. Pre ds's arrival I didn't actually agree with cc or variations on it but now I am just desperate for some sleep . My son - just coming up for 6 months - is a dreadful sleeper. Always falls asleep on the breast at night and always on the move in teh day. He sleeps in his cot at nite but for 2hr bursts (sometimes more sometimes less). I want to know how emotionally painful cc is as I think I may have to do something like this soon but want to be prepared. dh and I have attempted this (baby whisperer pickupputdown) a while ago but it was a disaster with my boy screaming his head off and me not much better off. Please tell me some success stories. I am too tired to read through all the messages but want some hope. Thank you

2T2T - 6 months is really the youngest that you should think about cc. I have posted on here earlier as we did it with dd when she was 9mo. It worked within a week for us, but it is the kind of thing you need to be 100% committed to doing. The first night, she cried for 2 hours, with me going in every 5-10 mins to clm her. It was exhausting, but I was exhausted anyway from getting up 2/3 times a night with her.

CC is not for every parent or baby. I would say that your lo is still quite young, and while you may just want him to sleep for longer than 2 hours, maybe you should think about leaving it for a couple of months. In the meantime, please read up on the subject and make sure it is right for you.

Are you still feeding your ds when he wakes? Is he hungry / too hot / too cold? My dd used to wake herself by wriggling up the cot and getting herself stuck in the corner of her cot - is there anything imparticular that seems to be waking him?

detox - thanks for your wise words. it is easy to get carried away in desperation and commit to cc when it is not really in your heart to do it and you are right to point that out. my son wakes for a comfort suck. He is bf but being weaned onto both solids and ff (not taking too kindly to ff!) His room conditions are good though it can get noisy as we live on a busy road but this does not seem to be problematic. it is more tha the doesn't know how to get himself back to sleep and uses my breast. He won't entertain the idea of a dummy so it isjust me. Your thoughts please.

Your situation sounds very similar to mine - dd's room in on a main road, and you're right that it doesn't seem to bother them much, in fact I think dd often sleeps better with a bit of noise!

We did cc as dd wouldn't settle on her own - I would have to either rock her to sleep (and then she'd wake up when I tried to put her back down in her cot) or take her into bed with me (dh works away).

She had slept through well for a few months when she was about 5mo, so we knew she could settle herself to sleep, which was one of the reasons we decided to give cc a go. Dd wasn't ill or teething, and hadn't fed at night for months, so we were happy to try cc.

Have you tried the 'pick up put down' technique? There's been a lot of threads on this and it sounds like a lot of success? May be worth researching. What about when your dh goes into him at night? If ds cant smell milk then maybe he'll settle without the breast?

detox - ds does not respond well to dh as i do vast majority of child care (all in fact!) it seems to inflame the situation if dh goes in. also as it is boob he wants it serves little purpose for dh to attend to him. Plus we have a dd so she cannot be disturbed in the early hours. we did try pickupputdown thing but ds got so hysterical we had to abandon it! it was dreadful for all of us. just want to sleep and want my beautiful boy to sleep too

Have a look at the No Cry Sleep Solution, by Elizabeth Pantley. There's also a lot of threads on here about it - have a look in search all messages. It gives a range of solutions and works on the 'all babies are different' approach. Might be worth a look at if you feel cc is not for you at the moment.

Harpsichord,

I am the only one who has used the "Babywise" book on this thread.

I have only used what is between the pages of the SPECIFIC book "Babywise."

As with other sources, I took what I felt applied to my family and left what did not.

AS PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED, the book "Babywise" contains absolutely no mention of any baby of ANY age being hit or slapped for any reason.

Likewise there is NO mention of the Bible or Bible verses in the book "Babywise."

As previously mentioned, I am not a fan or foe of Ezzo's. But I did use his book.

The majority of CC users on this thread have utilized another parenting book's method.

I understand the passion behind your opinion. I feel the same way about fast food, McDonald's in particular. I would not appear on a support thread for mothers who use fast food as a convenient way to prepare dinner, much less link them to "Fast Food Nation." Everyone deserves to be with their family as they see fit.

In the future I do not think that "Babywise" in particular is on-topic in this thread. This thread seems to me to pertain rather to CC in general.

If I have heard any book mentioned with CC on MN, it seems to be "she who must not be named"'s.

2T2T

I have been in a similar situation and my advice would be as follows...

1. You have to be 100% committed to any crying tchniques as they are emotionally draining

1. I successfully weaned down the night feeds prior to attmpting the crying - this was thru a combination of rocking to sleep holding and co-sleeping. I thought any of these were preferable to the breast as dh could also do it ( he is the main carer)

1. For me, letting him cry really works! In just a few days, his sleep has greatly improved. It is no where near perfect but at least I get a stretch of 5-6 hrs when I had been waking hourly some nights.

Good luch with whatever you try...there are plenty of supportive parents out there to help.

Welcome 2T2T. Hopefully you will find somw positive experiences on here that you can add to your other research on CC before starting. My story is the first on this Thread so I won't re-write it (don't want to bore everyone!) I am now over 2 weeks in and she is doing great, no night is perfect but she does now sleep without BF and is taking nicely to her Daddy settling her if she stirs when she goes into her light sleep phase.
You will find a bit of debate but we are trying to make this thread non-contentious as there are plenty of other threads where you can read the pros and cons discussed at length. Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.

Daddyj - you jinxed me! DD woke 4 times last night! (although she went to bed OK at 7.30!) Blasted Sunshine is waking her early even with Blackouts so I may need to find some sticky tape to seal the edges a bit Can you buy sleeping masks for babies? (That was a joke before anyone jumps down my neck! )

ok had enough now!need sleep!my ds is 14 months old.pu/pd worked great until i bloody ruined it!now up like a yo yo!

kittypants. Was this when you went on Holiday (am I remembering you correctly?).
You need to ask yourself what you want to do. Can you re-do PU/PD? From what I have read this is not so effective in older Babies as it stimulates them, I think that may depend on your LO. What support have you got and are there other DC that will be disturbed?
I suggest getting your routine back to where it was for a few days even if you are then BFing to sleep, then when you are ready give it a try. Your LO is old enough (mine was a bit young ) and hopefully as she did well before on PU/PD may respond v quickly.
Might be telling you what you already know but thought I would add a bit of support!

Only start if you mean to go on.

he suprisingly was ok with pu pd,i thought it would be more disturbing than good so would like to try again before anything else.i have dh but he tends to give in so i dont ask for help.i have 2 other children but luckily dont seem to hear him all night.we can always play camping out down stairs !

2T2T, [hugs] from all of us - sleep deprivation is a terrible thing!

We were in exactly the same position as you, lo only would fall asleep on the breast or in pram/car, and CC did work BUT:
If both of us had been against CC previously and only doing it out of desperation,
it might have not worked!
It could have made things worse as letting your baby (and yourself..)
cry for an hour and then giving in is really the worst of all worlds.

At the beginning CC is very hard simply because you are trying to resist a powerful signal
that in every other context you heed immediately.
Your heart and your instincts will forcefully tell you to go to him.
It's your brain that has to be convinced that what you are doing is the right thing for your son.

Are you convinced now is the time to teach your son to settle and CC is the right method?

Sorry to be so cautious but this bit is crucial otherwise it will take a lot longer and
you might end up feeling guilty.

If you are not convinced but are desperate for sleep, then why not fit in with him:
I am sure you have looked at co-sleeping, that certainly worked for us.
Can you draft in some help during the day so that you can enjoy a daytime nap?
Even a bit of sleep will make a world of difference!

Ruth, I will refrain from asking any more disruptive questions..

having read all your wise words, i don't think cc is for me just yet. My son continues to wake erratically throughout the night but he is not quite 6 months yet (next week) and I have other lo's to consider so noise is not an option in the early hours. It is draining being up and down all night ad co-sleepng is not for me. he does sleep in his cot but just wakes a lot so I would consider that a step backwards really. I am hoping he will grow out of it. Do they?! Pleeae tell me they do. thanks again all, 2T2T

They do, 2T2T! At least according to this website which
argues against CC:
www.kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/comfortnursing.html

daddyj - thank you. I will check it out!

Thankyou DaddyJ - I suppose I am hoping that my gorgeous boy will want to start sleeping through of his own volition. I am the eternal optimist (though not at 4am!). I shall check out the thread and read it thoroughly when I have more energy -perhaps when he has left home!

We wouldn't be parents if we weren't optimists!

malaleche, you are right to gently chide me, I allowed my simmering anger at
kiskidee's attack on the CC support thread to spill over into my posts on this thread.
Not good

bloss, it looks like the scientific debate is over.
The evidence that CC does no harm, on the contrary, was provided.

The rest is beliefs and debating beliefs becomes personal and could turn vicious..